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You know you're a Bedbugger if... [OT/humor]

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  1. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 16:49:54
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    You see an ad for L'Oreal's new BB cream and think the "B.B." stands for bed bugs.

    Got one to add?

    I started and run the site but am "not an expert."
  2. critterbug

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 17:01:27
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    If you keep a flashlight and roll of tape on the nightstand

  3. bed-bugscouk

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 17:09:16
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    You dress all in black and have an OCD for Banana Moon Pies :-).

    Keep 3 jewelers loops in your pockets and 1 in your bag in case you cant immediately reach for one.

    You have not sat anywhere in 10 years outside of your home without giving it the once over visual inspection.

    You check into a hotel and the receptionist says "ohh bedbugs" and you reply, its OK if you have them I will be back down within 5 minutes with proof (hey some lifts take a while otherwise I would stick with my 3 minute rule).

    David

    If you have found this information helpful please consider leaving feedback on social media via google+ or FaceBook or by like/loving the images.

    In accordance with the AUP and FTC (legal requirements) I openly disclose my vested interest in Passive Monitors as the inventor and patent holder. Since 2009 they have become an integral part in how we resolve bed bug infestations. I also have a professional relationship with PackTite in that they distribute my product under their own branding. I do not however receive any financial remuneration for any comments I make about products.
  4. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 17:10:07
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    You get a text from a friend that says "I'm watching the bb game" and you think, what the h*ll they have games now?! And it actually takes you a few minutes to figure out what they were talking about. (True story) (basketball game).

  5. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 17:46:30
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    You have developed a calendar with a PCO for each month and posted it on a certain website (see green sticky). And you send PRESENTS to the very generous PCOs on this site (this is not me..this is a very nice bugger on this site who always has a nice, cheering thing to say to the experts)

    They
    Are
    Out
    There
    = TAOT
  6. Blackheart

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 17:52:20
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    You are watching a movie and you just CRINGE when someone throws a suitcase on a bed (any bed) not just in a hotel, or when their blankets are dragging on the floor!!!

    Also you feel jealous when you see someone in a deep sleep on TV and of course you have to think "how nice for them" they don't have bb's!

  7. Blackheart

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 18:07:15
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    When you see an advertisement on TV for those "comfort mattresses" with vent holes and hiding places for bugs all over the thing....... wow wouldn't even take a chance in the name of comfort to purchase one of those, nope, never!

  8. Louise

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 19:22:44
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    critterbug - 2 hours ago  » 
    If you keep a flashlight and roll of tape on the nightstand

    Snort! Doesn't everyone do this nowadays?

    Heck, I even carry a roll of tape in my purse. Ya never know when you might need it...

  9. arianacassie

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 19:38:07
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    ........ you use your flashlight app on your bb more than messanger or texting . And because we are all insane the bb stands for blackberry not bedbugs ..........

    ........ you go to ikea furniture shopping and you inspect every piece of furniture for bedbugs with above flashlight and decide on furniture with the least crevices and wood. you tell the salesman your going for the metal look ...... open airy and cold ...... you see beautiful couch i see bed bug haven

  10. bed-bugscouk

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 19:40:54
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    Louise,

    Nah tape is just old school PB taught me an old saloon trick with saliva and ideally chewing tabbaco (nicotine being an insecticide (put always read the packet because I hear its bad for you)).

    David

  11. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 19:46:02
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    @TAOT: Awww, thanks, that was really sweet . . . you're making me blush! Uh, wait, you were talking about me right?! Seriously, you're a sweetie, thanks!

    @arianacassie: Thank you for defining your "bb" I could not figure that out and just kept reading "bedbugs"! (But in my defense, I have an iphone!)

  12. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 19:58:52
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    Of course, I was talking about you Marsha Brady...I mean AF...your very nice thanks written to all the experts was so articulate, and you even made Mr. Cain smile (with photgraphic evidence!)

  13. buggyinsyracuse

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 21:06:12
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    Bwhaaaa! I love these OT threads. LOL TAOT and Sam and everyone else. How about when you go to a party and people insist on putting your coat on their bed? Yuck!

  14. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 21:10:38
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    BuggyinS, I was at a restaurant and my friend took my coat and hung it on this coat rack touching about six coats (I took it home and put it in a bag to wash and dry...good thing I have 5 coats).

    I used to want a background check on dates, now I want Mr. James to invent a BedBug Blue that I can rub on my few, very rare dates (I mate as often as a Vulcan).

  15. Louise

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Jan 15 2013 23:58:37
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    bed-bugscouk - 4 hours ago  » 
    Louise,
    Nah tape is just old school PB taught me an old saloon trick with saliva and ideally chewing tabbaco (nicotine being an insecticide (put always read the packet because I hear its bad for you)).
    David

    Ah.

    Sounds...interesting.

    If I could only figure out how to pull it off in a ladylike fashion, I might even be tempted.

    (Until then, I'll stick with the tape...)

  16. bedbugsuptown

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 4:51:31
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    You know your a bugger if you find yourself infested with bed bugs or think that you may be.

    1. After trolling around the forum you eventually sign up with an email address, (Most often an address that distances yourself from your legal name, out of (in my opinion) paranoia, Sometimes it's just plain smart depending on your sensibilities or your job or career.You pick a tag and are randomly given your official avatar.

    2. You assume one of 2 attitudes. You share your experience and what you have learned with any one who will listen or you hide the whole buggy mess with almost everyone that you possibly can. Which ever Modus Operandi you choose is right for you, However if you choose the former you develop a tendancy to give bed bug 101 ( to some listeners) ad nauseum.

    3, You bag your first bug, this is akin to the Sacraments of Bapism or First Holy Communion, and no By the power of the Holy Spirit or what ever higher power you do/ don't believe in you begin to become a better bugger but--should you be a Catholic, Greek or Russian Orthdox, you do not eat the bug and make the sign or the cross. just put it in a ziplock bag and eventually smash it to hell!

    4. As treatment progresses you become addicted to bedbugger.com

    5. You begin to try your hand at helping newerbite buggers than yourself, trying to beat the pco's and oldtimers to the punch as your are so thrilled to have learned a thing or 2.

    6. Realizing that you are a part of an extremely patient, giving and intelligent fellowship of those who have suffered bedbugs or played a part in the remediation of your infestation, like your bugs, your IQ grows exponentially. Sometimes.

    7. You become a hard core addict here @ bedbugger.com

    8. You've complied to all that your PCO asks and with perseverance and a steely will, and certain other variables, since you now know that no 2 cases are alike you are able to post something like " I think we're okay. no bites or sightings for 3 weeks, but can they hibernate in my walls ?

    9, You come to believe it's over done.

    10. At this time you come to believe (if your haven't already) that your life is to some degree changed forever depending on your natural temperament.

    At this point you also make your own choices about how to avoid another infestation and this can take on 50 shades of gray (whatever that is cuz I really don't know, just heard the phrase and think it's some kinda book not found in the self-help section of your local book store.) I'll also skip to no. 20 as there are so many ways of dealing post infestation issues.

    20. Having learned so much and realizing posting my success story will inspire the current down trodden bugger and make our extremely articulate and impartially fair host, nobugs very happy you will do so.. if you hang around and are a prolific poster you will gain the appreciation and love that this site is known for. Depending on your posting style and skills that is. No love is completely without conditions unless your a good parent of a brat or 2. 3. 4, depending on your breeding cycle.

    In order of getting to know my buggers I know and don't know on some level more or less Thank you Nobugs (like a whole helluva lot} Cilecto, Mam, a long gone bugger. The masterful David Cain, D.James--got me a Packtite, will not sell for nuthin--John Furman, rocker and meticulous local pco and associate Bobby 'The Clown', Ashamedandscratching--where at(???), sortit, long may you wave, Doug Summers, don't know you at all but your one smart dog, And of course Lou Sorkin, always dead on and to the point, thanks for your open door. Paul Bello, another American and southern transplant and all around great guy author and pco and entomologyst. That's alot a hats, aint it big guy. EffeCi, Italian genious scientist and dynamite photographer, surprise, surprise :wink:Last but by far most important buggers I have grown to love--blackheari aka Sam, home girls (here anyway)TOAT, so kind, so selflessly helpful and insightful, and AbsolutelyFreakin (her name says it all) one helluva girl-u-sexy-thing. You have that great combo, big personality and the smarts that go with it and more important, a whole lotta' heart. Hope I didn't miss anyone, if I did u know who u are and it be 4 f^n 45 am and my glasses aint workin. Oh yeah, can't say I know youse but Winston O Buggy, hope yer Irish cuz u a damn good writer, and SoCal, don't know you either, if yer Irish it don't show much, but damn your clever.

  17. EffeCi

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 9:45:14
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    You are a bedbugger when:

    - You have a flashlight in the right pocket of your pants, another one in the little tool case that's in your left lower pocket of your jacket, a third in your bag and a little emergence one in the upper small internal pocket of you jacket. And I forgot the one in my working car.
    - you have always with you at least two-three soft tweezers and some empty little plastic jars
    - you have everyday or so a little plastic jar containing some live BBs in the upper internal pocket of your jacket (that sounds insane, I know)
    - you see in a chinese shop a sort of green blob of gel (hopefully it doesnt' came from Chicago sewers) that is used to remove powder and dirt from PC keyboards, cellar phone etc. and you think that it could be useful to catch and kill BBs hiding in some particular situations (and, yes, it works)

  18. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 9:52:22
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    @BBUT, loved your post! Awesome!

    @TAOT:

    theyareoutthere - 13 hours ago  » 
    . . .and you even made Mr. Cain smile (with photgraphic evidence!)

    I'm thinking just about anyone with the right ingredients [i.e., Banana Moon Pies] can make David Cain smile!

  19. Louise

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 10:47:55
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    EffeCi - 55 minutes ago  » 
    you have always with you at least two-three soft tweezers and some empty little plastic jars

    What's this? "Soft tweezers"? I do not have any of these. I take it they are better than regular tweezers because it's easier to not impale the bugs with them? (Not that impaling bed bugs sounds like a particularly bad idea to me...)

    EffeCi - 55 minutes ago  » 
    - you have everyday or so a little plastic jar containing some live BBs in the upper internal pocket of your jacket (that sounds insane, I know)

    Um, yes. Yes, it does. There must be a very good reason for this? (she asked hopefully...)

    EffeCi - 55 minutes ago  » 
    - you see in a chinese shop a sort of green blob of gel (hopefully it doesnt' came from Chicago sewers) that is used to remove powder and dirt from PC keyboards, cellar phone etc. and you think that it could be useful to catch and kill BBs hiding in some particular situations (and, yes, it works)

    HEY! I don't have any of this stuff either! Does it have a name? Is it non-toxic, or do the bugs expire shortly after you've caught them with it?

  20. EffeCi

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 15:59:07
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    HEY! I don't have any of this stuff either! Does it have a name? Is it non-toxic, or do the bugs expire shortly after you've caught them with it?

    Yes, it is something like that

    [+] Embed the videoGet the Video Plugins

    BBs get easily stuck in it, they die in minutes by suffocation and are swallowed in it. Funny.

    There must be a very good reason for this? (she asked hopefully...)

    Of course, there is. Specimens I caught during my dayly inspections/treatments

    What's this? "Soft tweezers"? I do not have any of these.

    Entomologic soft tweezers

    extremely useful to avoid squishing insects

  21. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 16:11:05
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    In the US, the Container Store sells Cyber Clean:

    http://www.containerstore.com/shop?productId=10025872&N=&Ns=p_sort_default%7C0&Ntt=%22cyber+clean%22

    The packaging suggests it may be the same product.

  22. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 16:14:30
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    You can buy the cleaner off Amazon through this site and support this site.

    I buy Cyberclean off Amazon, don't know if it's the same site. It helps with dust mites (or so I'm told) and everyone but me has the flu. There's a $5 foil packet, a $10 cup of it, etc. on Amazon. If this is the same thing as EffeCi says it is out of Switzerland, but they import Chicago sewer water (joking!!!)

    Cyber Clean Home & Office Pop-up Cup is a patented high tech cleaning compound. It is non-toxic and biodegradable. This amazing Swiss formula is a cleaning compound designed to get deep into all the cracks and crevices on any item or device. Cyber Clean is effective at removing 99.99% of harmful particles that live on everyday surfaces and it is fun and easy to use. Cyber Clean is a viscous, elastic compound designed to mold itself to fit the nooks and crevices that harbor harmful dirt. Cyber Clean will not migrate to other surfaces. Simply fold over the compound after each use and the debris is microencapsulated into the cleaning compound. Cyber Clean may be used over and over again. Each Cyber Clean package has a color strength reference guide so you see when Cyber Clean has reached its maximum absorption capabilities. This Cyber Clean comes in an air-tight, resalable pop up cup for safe and convenient storing.

  23. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 16:22:00
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    I was posting the same as Nobugs. I should ask the entomologist (phrase it as a question), does this stuff kill dust mites, etc? It is marketed to nerds and gamers, so don't know why I would know about it...but I do. I think it works fine for cleaning, but I also use the 3M stuff from time to time.

    If you buy it from Amazon, it supports this site if you click on the Amazon link on this site.

  24. EffeCi

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 17:01:17
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    BBs tend to stick to the gel surface in a flash.

    does this stuff kill dust mites, etc?

    Don't know, but it's reasonable to suppose and say yes.

    And I just realized that it could be a cheap fine smart tool to safely remove DE if needed.

  25. KillerQueen

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 20:42:05
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    When this makes you laugh. Over & over & over again.

    *Warning may be too much to handle for people dealing with current bed bug problems.*

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/bootapest/7350518006/

  26. KillerQueen

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 20:44:42
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    When you drive around with plates like these


    bedbugplate by bedbugwarrior, on Flickr

  27. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 20:46:55
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    *Warning may be too much to handle for people dealing with current bed bug problems.*

    Or, if one is afraid of clowns!!!! Ever since Stephen King's It...this clip has as much blood as that mini-series!!!!

    I'm also a little skittish/ afraid of women who wear A LOT of makeup (I mean a lot...beyond theatre) with long fingernails...we finally tied that one back to an older family member...oh well...she died when I was little..so never connected it...I'm also a little skittish/afraid of men who do the same...

  28. bedbugsuptown

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 23:22:26
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    John, clips a riot. An insane sense of humor's gotta be a prerequisite for any pco whos' worth his salt and specializing in bed bugs. Straight up, huh?

    Now I don't know you John, but from the forums it's hard for me to imagine you puttin' on a clown mask. But it's hard for me to imagine Bobby feedin a bug colony since he told me little about his life before bugs.

    But Gizmo/ Bozo the clown. That gave me a double take given the visual if you know what I mean, so I'm pretty sure it was Bobby talking Gizmo/Bozo but at the end of the day, I can't be sure.

    What's really insane is that it's exactly opposite of what's supposed to happen, or so I noticed watchin the older kids once upon a time.

    Yeah, I'm definately a bugger.

  29. bedbugsuptown

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Jan 16 2013 23:25:06
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    Where'd you get that clown mask? A John Wayne Gacy auction? Too funny

  30. EffeCi

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Fri Jan 18 2013 7:08:09
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    theyareoutthere - 1 day ago  » 

    Or, if one is afraid of clowns!!!! Ever since Stephen King's It...this clip has as much blood as that mini-series!!!!

    Yeah, a bedbugger Pennywise, that was my first thought too....

    Anyway, It's absolutely great...

  31. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Fri Jan 18 2013 8:47:44
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    EffeCi - 1 day ago  » 
    - You have a flashlight in the right pocket of your pants . . .

    Ok ladies help me out here . . . surely I'm not the only one that "sees" this:

    Excuse me, sir, is that a flashlight in your pocket, or . . .

    bwaaaah (Sorry EffeCi could not resist [again])! It's Friday after all, game on!

    (And yes, apparently, it is a flashlight! - - And I'm glad this isn't like the workplace where you can get "written up" for sexual harassment!)

  32. djames1921

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Fri Jan 18 2013 9:39:28
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    1. You find yourself sometimes wondering "Who did charge their lunch to David James" (well at least i still do)

    2. You use Packtite as a verb

    3. you actually say out loud "bed bugs" whenever you see a used piece of furniture on a curb or in the back of a truck

    4. You get angry when you see news reports, advertisements for products, and/or websites that use pictures that aren't actually bed bugs.

    5. You instantly think of two individuals whenever you see leather or a bag of milano's.

    6. And recently, you become quite educated in both the type, number and proper treatment method for certain toys of the adult nature, thank you mr. bello

    Love the idea above of a bed bug blue you can use on your date, could call it bed bug boyfriend. If it turns blue he's infested, but if it turns red as well he's got lots of $$$$.

  33. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Fri Jan 18 2013 10:06:53
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    djames1921 - 23 minutes ago  » 

    3. you actually say out loud "bed bugs" whenever you see a used piece of furniture on a curb or in the back of a truck.

    So true.

    I also shout "bed bugs!" whenever someone in a movie or TV show goes into a motel and throws their stuff on the bed/jumps in the bed/sits in the bed immediately upon entering.

    Okay, I actually only do that at home, thankfully. But if I'm in a public place like a movie theater, I think it.

  34. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Fri Jan 18 2013 10:46:29
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    Actually, the two only guys I ever dated with money were complete jerks. So that would be a great turnoff for some of us...i would buy it for that alone!

    We all define jerks differently so...

    Set up by friends since he's into art and travel..cool..go to my favorite hole in wall Thai place where he is dismayed by the lack of valet and parks his car that costs more than my home in handicapped parking..felt like an episode of seinfeld..I said they may tow..he will call the family car and driver..

    So we are unfortunately some place I hope to return and he tries to pay someone to move people from a window seat saying that was his reservation. Mentions family name repeatedly which is known nationally but not Hilton or anything. Tells me about all the stupid things he owns then tells me hes dated 2000 women in last five years...going on multiple dates in a day but all the women are interested in are his money

    I'm sometimes mean so I said..been with ya an hour..seeing why.he then asks if I want to go back to his place and do coke. thank goodness for toys!!!!!

  35. djames1921

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Fri Jan 18 2013 10:51:47
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    That is such a seinfeld episode, all your missing is him using the restroom without washing his hands. So how about a bed bug boyfriend that turns red if he's a jerk?

  36. theyareoutthere

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    Fri Jan 18 2013 11:26:15
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    I would pay for that and so would men for women...let's face it..we all are on best behaviour the first year..

    My friends are huge sex and the city fans..they say I come off like charlotte at first but then I'm Miranda underneath...men might want a warning too...

    Although one of my guy friends he just wants something like bedbug blue to know short term issues...the French men used to say certain women have rounded heels because they flip over so easy..

    Sorry if I made you blush...but its still pg right?

  37. KillerQueen

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    Fri Jan 18 2013 16:41:05
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    bedbugsuptown - 1 day ago  » 
    Where'd you get that clown mask? A John Wayne Gacy auction? Too funny

    lol .. Bobby found it at Walgreens when we were on a road trip.

  38. KillerQueen

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Fri Jan 18 2013 16:48:42
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    bedbugsuptown - 1 day ago  » 
    John, clips a riot. An insane sense of humor's gotta be a prerequisite for any pco whos' worth his salt and specializing in bed bugs. Straight up, huh?
    Now I don't know you John, but from the forums it's hard for me to imagine you puttin' on a clown mask. But it's hard for me to imagine Bobby feedin a bug colony since he told me little about his life before bugs.
    But Gizmo/ Bozo the clown. That gave me a double take given the visual if you know what I mean, so I'm pretty sure it was Bobby talking Gizmo/Bozo but at the end of the day, I can't be sure.
    What's really insane is that it's exactly opposite of what's supposed to happen, or so I noticed watchin the older kids once upon a time.
    Yeah, I'm definately a bugger.

    It is Bobby doing the feeding. There's somewhere around 6 - 8 hundred bugs in there.

    Him and I go back 20 plus years ... we both took the short bus to skool. =)

  39. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Fri Jan 18 2013 16:51:51
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    That's cool to work with someone who you trust...especially when you own a small/medium business and can't have a full audit...

  40. KillerQueen

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Fri Jan 18 2013 17:22:34
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    theyareoutthere - 28 minutes ago  » 
    That's cool to work with someone who you trust...especially when you own a small/medium business and can't have a full audit...

    I never said anything about trusting him =)

    After seeing how he ate (or should I say paid for) his food on a trip a few years ago ... He can't be trusted. Can't trust a man in a clown mask.

  41. theyareoutthere

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    Fri Jan 18 2013 17:24:27
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    I assumed you trusted him....

    You know what happens what you assume anything...

  42. EffeCi

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    Fri Jan 18 2013 17:27:58
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    Ok ladies help me out here . . . surely I'm not the only one that "sees" this:

    Excuse me, sir, is that a flashlight in your pocket, or . . .

    bwaaaah (Sorry EffeCi could not resist [again])! [:)] It's Friday after all, game on! [:)]

    (And yes, apparently, it is a flashlight! - - And I'm glad this isn't like the workplace where you can get "written up" for sexual harassment!) [:)]

    It's worst than this.
    The switch button of my flashlight is very sensible, so often the light switch on by itself while in pocket.
    So it's more something like "It's a flashlight you've in your pocket, or your engineered cyborg prosthesis is just happy to see me?"

  43. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Fri Jan 18 2013 18:40:24
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    KillerQueen - 1 hour ago  » 
    I never said anything about trusting him =)
    After seeing how he ate (or should I say paid for) his food on a trip a few years ago ... He can't be trusted. Can't trust a man in a clown mask.

    @KQ: But, Mr. KillerQueen, sir, I'm confused . . . why would Bobby The Clown need two lunches at the same time?! . . . so confused . . .

    EffeCi - 1 hour ago  » 
    It's worst than this.
    The switch button of my flashlight is very sensible, so often the light switch on by itself while in pocket.
    So it's more something like "It's a flashlight you've in your pocket, or your engineered cyborg prosthesis is just happy to see me?"

    @EffeCi: That, sir, was not lost in translation! LM*O! . . . And the visual I have in my head . . .O M G!!!

  44. theyareoutthere

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    Fri Jan 18 2013 19:35:00
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    I was at a training session one time and all the 4 women (out of a class of 30) started passing notes...let's just say they noticed that the instructor had a flashlight in his pocket....I must have turned 50 shades of red when the note was passed to me

  45. bedbugsuptown

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    Sat Jan 19 2013 0:11:09
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    bug boyfriend. If it turns blue he's infested, but if it turns red as well he's got lots of $$$$.

    So how about a bed bug boyfriend that turns red if he's a jerk?

    Okay.............boyfriend + with lots of $$$$ + he's a jerk = a [/b]john[b].
    David James, reknowned and praised by many--do you have a side line??? When your not busy inventing something bugish and/or seeking a patent for latest buggy invention are you making ends meet as a pimp/gigolo?

    You find yourself sometimes wondering "Who did charge their lunch to David James" (well at least i still do)

    As a confessed bugger I also confess to wondering

    "Who did charge their lunch to David James"

    But as I'm doin' the math, with the addition of "Who did charge their lunch to David James"--the thread that plays as one of those Night Of Mysteries parties, it makes [/s]spies[s] I mean guys like us figure--He's one sharp canoli, he invented the whole stolen lunch theme. Yeah, The Stolen Lunch, it reads like the name of a book. And David I'm reading right through this hustle. Gonna shine that big ole flash light right on yer, er, well I am a lady afterall. I'm a gonna leave that big flashlight in the lovely hands of AbsolutelyFreaking and not give EffeCi another thought....for the moment anyway. I take my hat off to YOU David, from one hustler to another.....damn your good. And like Absoluty reminded us--i'ts just another Friday Night and I ain't got nobody.........to tease!

  46. bedbugsuptown

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    Sat Jan 19 2013 11:56:52
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    You know your a seasoned bugger if your starting humor threads.

  47. buggybrained

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    Thu Mar 14 2013 8:33:18
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    You know you're a Bedbugger when your old bites start to itch if you start looking for them in different places. I swear something in those bites have a memory like nothing else!

    Once you have smelled a squished bb, you will randomly smell it in the oddest places and immediately start looking around.

    Being asked "what are you LOOKING at??" more times than you can count by friends or co-workers as soon as your eyes catch any small dark spot wherever you are.

    Being horrified by people who refer to being wrapped up cozy and spending time in bed as being a "bed bug." Why would anyone call themselves something so vile??

    Knowing more about bed bugs than you do your own body.

    Keeping photos of life stages, fecal stains, other bugs, etc on your cell phone for instant reference if you ever see anything suspicious and can't quite assure yourself that what you are seeing is not bb related.

    Never, ever killing a spider because you hope that maybe there is a chance he has a taste for bb's and is on YOUR side.

    These are great! I hope people post some more. It's so great to have no clue about who all post here but being able to relate to other bb survivors almost better than people we know who haven't been through it.

  48. backtonormal

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 7:55:28
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    You know you're a bedbugger when

    Your daughter asks why do you have that funny look on your face every time she shows you her latest Craigs List deal.

    When your city has a citywide rummage sale and all you can see is bugs,bugs,bugs.

    You have purchased plastic bags by the case.

    You never sit anywhere without inspecting your seat.

    Going to the movie theater is more anxiety provoking than going to the dentist.

  49. bed-bugscouk

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 8:12:57
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    OK,

    You know you are BB obsessed when you reply to a thread before checking out the message notification you just had from OKCupid.

    David

  50. buggybrained

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 10:42:21
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    @BBCOUK - haha! If was apprehensive about relationships before, it's even worse now. All I can think of when I think of being in another relationship is "what if I get bb's from them??" - I know I am BB obsessed!

    @BTN - you nailed it. The dentist used to be my #1 biggest phobia. Now a root canal doesn't scare me as much as finding a fecal stain. Also I feel terrible because I avoided a party at a friend's house the Friday after my first treatment because I know they purchase things from craigs list and I was scared to be around their furniture. I felt awful, but I know I'm BB obsessed.

  51. bed-bugscouk

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 11:04:01
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    @buggybrained , Its OK I can sleep around knowing I can get rid of them and the fact that my bed is protected with Passive Monitors. Maybe its more that my tartish ways are a more powerful stimuli than my fear of bedbugs.

    David

  52. Bayonnebedbug

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 11:44:00
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    You know your a bed bugger when

    You come onto to this forum and are jealous of everyone's else avatar because yours looks so silly
    Or you open mail and packages over a large bowl (just in case)

  53. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 11:51:49
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    bed-bugscouk - 2 months ago  » 
    . . . what's your New Years resolutions . . . in 2013.
    I personally will be striving for another year of pure and virtuous living.
    David Cain
    Bed Bugs Limited

    . . .

    bed-bugscouk - 44 minutes ago  » 
    . . . Its OK I can sleep around knowing I can get rid of them and the fact that my bed is protected with Passive Monitors. Maybe its more that my tartish ways are a more powerful stimuli than my fear of bedbugs.
    David

    Ok, who had "March" in the over/under on-line pool?! (I had January!)

  54. Louise

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 11:59:01
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    buggybrained - 1 hour ago  » 
    @BBCOUK - haha! If was apprehensive about relationships before, it's even worse now. All I can think of when I think of being in another relationship is "what if I get bb's from them??" - I know I am BB obsessed!

    Snort.

    Yes, I used to encourage my children to be (or at least to marry) doctors or lawyers.

    Now I'm hoping that one of them goes into pest control.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    (Just kidding, btw. I really don't care what profession my children choose or who they marry, as long as they're good people and are happy with their choices.)

  55. Louise

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 12:01:42
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    Bayonnebedbug - 15 minutes ago  » 
    You know your a bed bugger when
    You come onto to this forum and are jealous of everyone's else avatar because yours looks so silly

    At least your avatar looks pleasant. Mine just looks grumpy all the time.

    Bayonnebedbug - 15 minutes ago  » 
    Or you open mail and packages over a large bowl (just in case)

    Yep, I used to open my mail outside, then over the bathroom sink.

    Now I've really progressed (or regressed?) because I'm back to my old "open it anywhere" habits...

  56. bed-bugscouk

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 12:06:15
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    AbsolutelyFreaking - 13 minutes ago  » 
    Ok, who had "March" in the over/under on-line pool?! (I had January!)

    Some people are so literal they always seem to take it the wrong way (said the actress to the bishop).

    David

  57. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 12:13:11
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    LOL! Is there a wrong way to take it?! (That's what she said.)

  58. Bayonnebedbug

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 16:30:35
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    Louise - 4 hours ago  » 

    Bayonnebedbug - 15 minutes ago  » 
    You know your a bed bugger when
    You come onto to this forum and are jealous of everyone's else avatar because yours looks so silly

    At least your avatar looks pleasant. Mine just looks grumpy all the time.

    Bayonnebedbug - 15 minutes ago  » 
    Or you open mail and packages over a large bowl (just in case)

    Yep, I used to open my mail outside, then over the bathroom sink.
    Now I've really progressed (or regressed?) because I'm back to my old "open it anywhere" habits...

    Is rather look mean all the time then kinda like baby bop (from the old shows of Barney the purple dinosaur )

  59. Bayonnebedbug

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 16:36:29
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    You really know your a bed bugger
    When (actually did this not too long ago)
    Was buying product at a large retailer I actually made up an excuse to open the "product" up to be sure all pieces were in box. Reality I was looking for bed bugs opened box at the check out lane (hold up other customers)boy oh boy the looks I received

    Rob

  60. Louise

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 17:09:23
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    Bayonnebedbug - 37 minutes ago  » 
    I'd rather look mean all the time then kinda like baby bop (from the old shows of Barney the purple dinosaur )

    I'd take Baby Bop over Grumpy Face anyday.

    Hey! Maybe we can trade! Nobugs, can we? Huh? Can we? Pretty please?!

  61. Bayonnebedbug

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 17:34:07
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    Louise - 24 minutes ago  » 

    Bayonnebedbug - 37 minutes ago  » 
    I'd rather look mean all the time then kinda like baby bop (from the old shows of Barney the purple dinosaur )

    I'd take Baby Bop over Grumpy Face anyday.
    Hey! Maybe we can trade! Nobugs, can we? Huh? Can we? Pretty please?!

    Hi nobugsonme
    I agree can we trade

  62. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 18:20:34
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    Hi guys,

    You all know you can make your avatar just about anything you want it to be, right? (I think even a picture you have taken yourself.)

    http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/how-do-i-get-a-cool-picture-next-to-my-name

  63. theyareoutthere

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    Fri Mar 15 2013 20:53:48
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    bed-bugscouk - 9 hours ago  » 
    @buggybrained , Its OK I can sleep around knowing I can get rid of them and the fact that my bed is protected with Passive Monitors. Maybe its more that my tartish ways are a more powerful stimuli than my fear of bedbugs.
    David

    Wait, David sleeps around?????????????? oh......oh.....oh......why didn't anyone tell me?????????

  64. Louise

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    Mon Mar 18 2013 18:34:37
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    AbsolutelyFreaking - 3 days ago  » 
    Hi guys,
    You all know you can make your avatar just about anything you want it to be, right? (I think even a picture you have taken yourself.)
    http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/how-do-i-get-a-cool-picture-next-to-my-name

    Well...yes. Of course we knew that.

    Right, Rob?

  65. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Mon Mar 18 2013 19:58:16
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    Louise - 1 hour ago  » 
    Well...yes. Of course we knew that.
    Right, Rob?

    LOL! That was funny Louise.

    I guess I could have phrased that better, right?!

    Sorry about that guys!

    (And P.S., congrats on your new status Louise - Senior Member!!!)

  66. Louise

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    Mon Mar 18 2013 20:14:05
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    AbsolutelyFreaking - 11 minutes ago »
    I guess I could have phrased that better, right?!

    Sorry about that guys!

    No need to apologize. I thought you phrased it just fine. Made me chuckle, anyway. (At least after I had finished blushing...)

    AbsolutelyFreaking - 11 minutes ago  » 
    (And P.S., congrats on your new status Louise - Senior Member!!!)

    Thank you! I noticed right away - something suddenly looked different about my name...and it sure wasn't the avatar, lol!

    Next stop: oldtimer!

    (Of course that will probably take me another five years or so.)

  67. barbieb

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    Thu Sep 26 2013 20:21:28
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    KillerQueen - 8 months ago  » 
    When this makes you laugh. Over & over & over again.
    *Warning may be too much to handle for people dealing with current bed bug problems.*
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/bootapest/7350518006/

    Holy Moly!! You can actually see them turn red!! Yes, I AM a newbite and this certainly motivates me to, well, runnnnn!!

  68. barbieb

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    Thu Sep 26 2013 20:27:22
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    Louise - 8 months ago  » 

    critterbug - 2 hours ago  » 
    If you keep a flashlight and roll of tape on the nightstand

    Snort! Doesn't everyone do this nowadays?
    Heck, I even carry a roll of tape in my purse. Ya never know when you might need it...

    Double Heck - I gear up to sleep - flashlight, tape, bug jar with lid, magnifying glass, plus my eye glasses and a hand sanitizer!! So relax now and Sweeeet dreams!! ;-0

  69. rjp

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    Fri Sep 27 2013 11:19:25
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    God, reading this is hilarious... and then so much of it is true for me!! I agree on the going to the movie theater being more anxiety provoking than going to the dentist (thank God we have a drive in theater in town), inspecting whatever you sit on, and saying "bed bugs" whenever you see furniture on a curb or in a truck. I say is out loud without even thinking about it. I also tend to say it when I pass by a hotel. My list:

    1. When you could single handedly keep any plastic bag company in business.

    2. Your "purse" is a ziplock bag (true story - mine is!).

    3. You take a full change of clothing with you in a plastic bag and change clothes whenever you visit anyplace you have to sit down for any period of time (e.g. dentist).

    4. When everyone makes fun of you for your "obsession" with bed bugs but then calls you with questions and for advice.

    5. You have a spray bottle of rubbing alcohol in your car or purse for emergencies.

    6. Your clothes dryer is your best friend.

    7. No one, and I mean NO ONE, is allowed to touch your bed with their street clothes on, and no animals with claws are allowed in your bedroom.

    8. You inspect EVERY. SINGLE. THING. that comes into your house.

    9. You will not purchase anything that can't be completely inspected, thrown in the dryer, or washed in very hot water.

    10. Going to the public library, video store, flea market, and thrift store make you nervous.

    11. You keep dead beg bugs in plastic bags in your garage so you can compare them to whatever bugs you find. The same people who make fun of you for your paranoia come to see the bugs.

    12. You're considering volunteering for a public bed bug education department. (True story - I am working on it.)

    13. You're planning a block party for the day when you can take the last of your stuff out of the plastic bags it has been in for the last 18 months.

  70. Distressed in NJ

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    Blackheart - 1 year ago  » 
    You are watching a movie and you just CRINGE when someone throws a suitcase on a bed (any bed) not just in a hotel, or when their blankets are dragging on the floor!!!
    Also you feel jealous when you see someone in a deep sleep on TV and of course you have to think "how nice for them" they don't have bb's!

    I feel exactly like this. Oh to go back to a time when I could look at or get into bed without trepidation.

  71. Freeobugs

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    If you're in a movie theater, airplane, etc and you not only search your seat before sitting down, but keep vigilant observation throughout the duration of you time there. Or if needing a new mattresses stresses you out even if yours needs replaced horribly and the thought of a new one creeps you out too much to even consider getting a new one.

    Just a survivor, definitely no expert.
    Autism Warrior
  72. music

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    Mon Mar 24 2014 7:53:17
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    When you fill your behind bottom trouser pockets with DE when you go cinema.

  73. woahnellie

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    David, what is your three minute rule? Just curious.

  74. bedbugsarethedevil123

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    Wed Mar 26 2014 9:54:35
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    When you inspect every piece of black lint or dirt with a flashlight.

  75. Butterfly1972

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    Freeobugs - 2 days ago  » 
    Or if needing a new mattresses stresses you out even if yours needs replaced horribly and the thought of a new one creeps you out too much to even consider getting a new one.

    LOL.....I had to giggle at this one because I am TOTALLY in the same boat!!!! We need to replace our king mattress set and I just can't bring myself to buy a new one.

    Never.....ever......ever did I think there would be a day when I would actually say that I can't bring myself to buy something!!

  76. Bug Buffet

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    You know you're a Bedbugger if...

    You own a Packtite, named it, and give it a gratitude hug EVERY DAY.


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