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Top 10 Ways to know you're battling BB's [humor/OT]

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  1. Itchy-Scratchy

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Sun Aug 3 2008 20:42:52
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    buggyinsocial suggested that we draft a "Top Ten" list for BBs. Here's a list I've come up with ... if anyone has anything to add, please feel free!!

    Buggyinsocial, this is for you:

    TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE BATTLING BEDBUGS:

    1. You can debate the pros and cons of every brand of garbage bag.
    2. Your vacuum is your best friend.
    3. You can name at least 4 pesticides, yet you can't name 4 new movies that will open next month.
    4. Your idea of a spa treatment involves showering and calamine lotion.
    5. Ghost stories don't scare you but bug-feces do.
    6. You think that you will encounter less bugs camping than you will at a five-star hotel.
    7. You're on a diet not because you are fat, but because all of your clothes shrunk in the dryer.
    8. Debugging is no longer a computer term.
    9. The Vaseline next to your bed is not for moisturizing purposes.
    10. Going TO your job is your de-stressor.

  2. Beatrice

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Mon Aug 4 2008 10:51:35
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    -You have no hesitation about asking "is that pimple or bug bite?"

  3. Adele

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Mon Aug 4 2008 11:33:30
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    this is great!!!

    i loved it - very clever and thank you for posting it

  4. buggyinsocal

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Mon Aug 4 2008 11:53:40
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    I know I listed some in a post somewhere, but, alas, I didn't tag it. Here are some I came up with up off the top of my head,

    *You actually have a preference between Ziplock and Hefty sealed top bags, and you're not afraid to share that opinion with others.
    *Whatever insect infestations you've dealt with in the past, you'd take them back in a heartbeat as compared with bed bugs.

    I don't know how to make this funny, but I will tell you this--I seriously look for bed bug friendliness of furniture/room set ups the same way that when I go back east now, I look at architecture and room layout with an eye to earthquakes. That is, when I go back east now, I find myself going "Oh, all those brick buildings are totally not quake safe." or "Well, that 25th floor suspended walkway will be the first thing down in the Big One" even though I know that earthquakes are not a threat on the east coast the way they are here.

    I'll try to think of the rest as they come.

    Oh, and :

    *You may be as green as they come:driving a Prius, becoming a locavore, and taking reusable bags with you wherever you go, but you find yourself looking nostalgically back on the days of DDT and/or lobbying for new and stronger pesticides.

  5. spideyjg

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Fri Aug 8 2008 19:44:58
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    You can't quite dig all the caulk out from under your fingernail.

    Jim

  6. Itchybutdealing

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Fri Aug 8 2008 20:14:38
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    You inspect your bed like a hawk every morning, and note any "spot" changes.

    You try several new places for sex, anywhere but your bed (the shower, the kitchen, the floor....etc.) anywhere that doesn't gross you out!

  7. fightorflight

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Fri Aug 8 2008 22:24:34
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    > 10. Going TO your job is your de-stressor.

    This is my hands-down favorite. Unfortunately it's only true until you begin to be petrified that you've infected your workplace.

  8. mangycur

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Sat Aug 9 2008 12:22:09
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    Jim, that caulk under the fingernails is hysterical

    I'm just going to riff on this a bit--we're definitely getting more than 10
    --all of your clothes are shrunken or caulk-stained, or alcohol faded
    --you never wear lingerie anymore--it's all in storage for 18 months--just granny panties from here on out
    --your house smells of wintergreen rubbing alcohol
    --you go to the doctor to have your cholesterol checked, they swab your arm with rubbing alcohol, and you breathe deep and relaxed because the rubbing alcohol smell triggers that "safe" feeling
    --your bedside table is cluttered with anti-itch cream, Off! spray, a flashlight, duct tape, and a box of ziplocs
    --when walking down the street with a friend, you see a mattress (or any furniture) discarded near the gutter, and you insist that your friend cross the street with you so you won't even get near it
    --you buy alcohol, tape and ziplocs in bulk
    --you took your books down off the shelves and replaced them with ziplocs in every size that can be manufactured
    --you canceled your gym membership because you keep leaving your sneakers out on accident, so you never have the proper attire
    --all of your social conversation takes place at the laundramat
    --you can live without your ipod, but not your caulk gun
    --spray bottles of alcohol and paper towels stationed on every surface of your home
    --you suddenly find the heart to throw away books instead of taking them to strand
    --you can't logg off the forums on time to get to the laundramat before noon

  9. Itchy-Scratchy

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Sat Aug 9 2008 12:30:12
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    Wow, these are all so good!

    Maybe we should change the title to "25 Ways to know youre battling BB's"

  10. Adele

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Sat Aug 9 2008 16:37:06
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    CAn we add my personal favorite?

    I have more cans of bedlam in my apartment than cans of anything else including hairpsray

  11. spideyjg

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Mon Aug 11 2008 0:48:00
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    You have more caulk than a construction site.

    Jim

  12. Marixpress

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Thu Sep 11 2008 11:55:11
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    You wake up 44543436736 times each night, not to check the bed for monsters, but bugs!

  13. Bugged_in_MD

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Thu Sep 11 2008 12:34:06
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    "I have more cans of bedlam in my apartment than cans of anything else including hairpsray.'

    ..... Hair spray kills them on contact to.

    When you go shopping at different stores to stock of up on alcohol, It's like hiding a drinking problem.

    Being out of duct tape is worse then being out of toilet paper.

    When you go out to eat, you are slowly looking at the booth cover and wall carpet area.

  14. Itchy-Scratchy

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    Posted 10 years ago
    Fri Sep 12 2008 7:26:03
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    Bugged_in_MD - 18 hours ago  » Being out of duct tape is worse then being out of toilet paper.

    All so funny, but the one above made me laugh SO HARD!! God, it felt so good to laugh.

  15. grossbugs

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Wed Oct 29 2008 16:18:28
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    omg! i can't believe someone else has asked the "is that a pimple or a bug bite" question! i thought i had spread bed bugs to my poor bf until he embarrassingly admitted to a case of bacne!

  16. hoo2677

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Sun Mar 15 2009 2:11:19
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    Arrrgh, yes Flax Seeds in bread. After bringing home a loaf of super healthy bread and making toast I totally freaked out looking at all the "bugs" on my kitchen floor. In fact I spend so much time staring at the floor it's like I'm in a trance.

    Yes, I did figure out (embarrassed to say how long it took) that these bugs couldn't be squished, then i took the loaf out of the fridge and realized, i had actually lost "it."

  17. buggyinsocal

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Sun Mar 15 2009 14:04:15
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    I am strangely relieved to find that I'm not the only flax-seed phobe in the world.

  18. TiredandWorried

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Sun Mar 15 2009 14:21:29
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    I just recently purchased a chicken wrap from C-F-A and had the same reaction to the seeds that were on the wrap! My husband flipped when he first saw them! We had a good laugh! I am glad that I am not the only one with the flax seed thougths!

  19. losingit

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon Mar 16 2009 9:26:40
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    I have a few brewing

    You always stand in a practically empty subway, bus, streecar.

    Instead of lipstick you carry a magnifying glass in your purse.

    Even when you're single you know you're not sleeping alone and it's more depressing.

    You look at period movies, tv shows and think "uh huh, that baroque/medieveal bed would be crawling"

    You look and sound like someone on CSI when you scrutinize somthing "confirmed: lint"

  20. losingit

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon Mar 16 2009 9:55:56
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    --your bedside table is cluttered with anti-itch cream, Off! spray, a flashlight, duct tape, and a box of ziplocs

    Ha ha, that cracked me up!

    It's like some kind of dialogue "hey, baby, uh.. what's with the duct tape and ziplocks and all? I ain't into that stuff..." as your date slowly backs out of your bedroom.

  21. begonebedbugs

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon Mar 16 2009 12:57:31
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    This is a great post! This one is my favorite:

    "You try several new places for sex, anywhere but your bed (the shower, the kitchen, the floor....etc.) anywhere that doesn't gross you out! "

    I told my husband the other night that maybe I'd sleep better if we had sex before bed but anytime he tries to touch me I freak out and slap him... and theres NO WAY I'd get in my bed naked and in the dark!

  22. brbugfighter

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon May 11 2009 10:32:55
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    You take a sudden interested in alternative sleeping options, like the magnetic floating bed, which is unfortunately is way out of your price range.

    You may be SERIOUSLY considering getting or making your own suspended bed, only yours would be all steel, including the ropes and would come with automatic dispensers of vaseline.

  23. bed-bugscouk

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon May 11 2009 10:55:03
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    Hi,

    Got to say love the floating bed, I will order one when the finances allow but it would cost the proceeds of some 7,000 infestations to afford one.

    On the subject of bed design I actually have a specially made four poster myself. The legs are mirror smooth metal and is completely isolated from the floor and walls. I never put outside clothes on the bed or bags of any description and yet in the last 7 years I have had 4 or 5 of the little darlings sleeping in bed with me.

    They usually don't last more than 30 days (my time between inspections) but it is proof that bed bugs are ingenious enough to get around most obstacles.

    I am currently working on a new newsletter outlining why wooden beds are actually the best type for bed bug eradication and what steps should be taken to reduce refugia and make inspection optimal.

    I am hoping to have it online in a few weeks.

    Until then we can all just drool at the floating bed concept.

    David Cain
    Bed Bugs Limited

    PS for the top 10 can we have that you can spell entomology correctly and name a few of entomologists.

    If you have found this information helpful please consider leaving feedback on social media via google+ or FaceBook or by like/loving the images.

    In accordance with the AUP and FTC (legal requirements) I openly disclose my vested interest in Passive Monitors as the inventor and patent holder. Since 2009 they have become an integral part in how we resolve bed bug infestations. I also have a professional relationship with PackTite in that they distribute my product under their own branding. I do not however receive any financial remuneration for any comments I make about products.
  24. losingit

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon May 11 2009 11:25:10
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    The floating bed brings a whole slew of ideas:

    Instead of a water bed, you'd sleep in a huge square vat filled with vaseline (drowning could be an issue though:)

    You think of attaching some kind of voltage system to your metal bed frame so you can 'fry' the bugs. Stay off the bed when you turn the power on.

    You search online for ways to buy, breed and train the Masked Assassin bugs.

  25. Itchy-Scratchy

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon May 11 2009 20:43:27
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    losingit - 1 month ago  » 
    Even when you're single you know you're not sleeping alone and it's more depressing.

    LOL! OMG, losingit, that's SO funny!!

  26. Emmm

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Tue May 12 2009 8:30:27
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    bed-bugscouk - 21 hours ago  » 
    I am currently working on a new newsletter outlining why wooden beds are actually the best type for bed bug eradication and what steps should be taken to reduce refugia and make inspection optimal.

    I buy that. When I move, the plan was we'd invest in a metal bed, some basic frame from Ikea. But then, as much as my bed was a HUGE pain in the butt (without a box spring, to boot!) when I considered all the cracks and such, don't most (nice) metal bed frames have hollow tubes? I'm just saying, yikes. I'm thinking best bet is a metal bed that's not hollow (or truly sealed) or a sealed up wooden bed. With those passive bed bug monitors on the four posters. And REALLLLY high up so covers don't even dream of touching the ground. And the very fact that we all have to consider these things instead of "what goes with my dressers?" is another one for the list. *L*

    As is "one begins to have a drastic appreciation for the little things. Like access to their entire wardrobe, and lower power bills."

  27. stricken

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Fri Jul 3 2009 15:23:04
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    You curl up with Steri-Fab every night as if it's your teddy bear.

  28. lil_bit_obsessed

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Sat Jul 4 2009 15:03:26
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    when talking about your dream of building a house together, you and your partner agree that you will put a coat of DE inside each of the walls before you even seal them up.

    when walking down the street with friends you spot a mattress/dresser/other suspicious item out on the curb. you know who your closest friends are because they're the ones who can read your mind, and who understand why you suddenly have an anxious expression on your face.

    you've seriously considering trying to teach your dog to find bedbugs in your home.

    you still buy second hand books (because they're fabulous), but you ask the store clerk for extra plastic bags. then you seal them up in a few rounds of plastic (to the confusion of the poor store clerk) take them home, and bake them thoroughly before introducing them to your bookshelves. you continue to do this YEARS after your bedbug experience.

    you choose to purchase items on the basis of whether or not they could be easily treated if you are ever re-exposed to the bugs.

    you love almost all insects, but wouldn't hesitate to quash a bedbug.

    years after your bb experience, you continue to stock a few spare bottles of rubbing alcohol, 'just in case'.

  29. so_confused

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon Aug 31 2009 7:20:27
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    This made me laugh guys
    here's mine
    It's frigthing how much you and Monk have in common.

  30. hoo2677

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon Aug 31 2009 10:06:07
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    Used furniture purchases are measured to see if they'll fit in your packtite. Shoes, jackets and purses must contain zero velcro.

    : )

    Portland, OR

  31. KILL_ALL_BEDBUGS

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon Aug 31 2009 13:10:30
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    You own enough bed bug fighting equipment to start your own business

  32. Killbug

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon Aug 31 2009 14:56:55
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    I am dreaming of glass bed, in room with glass walls, with glass door and glass floor. Besides that room should be equipped with heater that heats whole room to 60 degrees C.

    you know you're battling BB's when...

    ... bright light is not disturbing you, while sleeping.

  33. SleeplessInVan

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon Aug 31 2009 21:36:12
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    You've suddenly become pale. Not as a fashion statement but the only time you can sleep is in the middle of the day.

    You consider buying packtites for everyone in your family as christmas / birthday gifts.

  34. cilecto

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 8 2009 14:06:37
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    Human Resources puts out the latest business dress code…now including "Tyvek".

    Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night...
    - Psalms 91:5-7

    (Not an pro)
  35. vulnerable

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 8 2009 14:58:10
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    A teenager who spends more time websurfing bed bugs than on myspace

  36. BBsonme

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 8 2009 22:10:18
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    -- Your bedroom is taped off like a crime scene

    -- You never invite your guests to 'have a seat'

    -- You never have guests

    -- You can spot a gnat 20 yards away

    -- You carry a ziploc like it's a purse and say it's a fashion statement

    -- You pepper your food and then have a panic attack

    -- You're on all fours so much the dog starts trying to do you

    -- You can't do your spouse without keeping one eye open for bed bugs

    -- You actually LIKE visiting your mother-in-law.

    -- All of the postings on this topic would make you ROFL (roll on the floor laughing) were it not for the fact that you'd be afraid you get up with bites.

  37. dee

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sat Oct 10 2009 22:53:48
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    - you start to envying people who have pillow
    -your new bed is the kitchen floor
    - all of your photo albums are bagged, taped, and labeled" DO NOT OPEN FOR 2 YEARS"

  38. soscared

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sat Oct 10 2009 23:15:55
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    I have one:
    - You check bedbugger forums before your email.

  39. dee

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sun Oct 11 2009 12:46:08
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    - You know what size vacuum bags to buy without looking at your vacuum

  40. sunshine1583

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sun Oct 11 2009 14:00:22
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    You have a decontamination plan for entering/exiting your house.

  41. watkinsnewan

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 15 2009 10:04:37
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    when a mouse becomes your best friend click, click!!

  42. watkinsnewan

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 15 2009 10:11:24
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    or when your child suggest to you to get A black bearded Dragon and let is loose in the house to eat all the bugs!! An even tho you are really scared of then you contemplate it!!

  43. tinyvampire

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 20 2009 16:27:51
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    i thought i'd post this, since i'm actually feeling this way right now:

    -you get giddy about renting a car for a weekend day trip...to the landfill...

  44. watkinsnewan

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sun Oct 25 2009 21:58:06
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    bump!!

  45. Vell23

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sun Oct 25 2009 22:24:58
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    LOL all these posts are hilarious, I have some that I do

    Driving past houses and wondering if the people that live there is battling them to

    Won't hang ur coat up next to other people's coat

    Going to sleep with 10 pieces of clothing on during a heatwave

    Sitting in front of someone and thinking there is a bed bug crawling on the back of you

    Can't watch a movie good witout looking around to see if any is moving in on you

  46. bedbuggery

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Oct 26 2009 0:08:31
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    On the floating bed..... I had been contemplating installing a nylon camping hammock with hooks in the roof beams. This may be hard if you are renting I realize, but if you added a ring of double-sided sticky tape to the roof... you would be bedbug free I reckon. Now simply sleep in a hammock for 18 months and you're home free!!! Maybe you'll get used to it and never go back

    If anyone would seriously be interested in this approach there are some decent (and comfy) hammock's on this site; http://www.eaglesnestoutfittersinc.com/
    also at REI.

    Oh and top ten.... when somebody in the room asks if bedbugs are real you drop everything and engage them in a half hour educational session.

  47. bedbuggery

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Oct 26 2009 0:13:26
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    You can also add sleeping pads to these hammocks, blankets pillows.. the works... just don't let anything touch the ground!!!

  48. sickofbugs

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Oct 26 2009 0:19:29
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    I laughed so hard reading all of these posts, I really needed to read these.

    About 4 months was seriously considering buying some rancid bear grease to rub on myself. It sure keeps the bed bugs away (an old native solution) but would sure keep everyone away.

    I thought of buying a cattle prod or a taser, but then realized I could do some serious damage to myself or someone else. The things we think of when we are desperate!

    sickofbugs

  49. bbboogie

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Oct 26 2009 21:29:37
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    I have laughed my way through this topic! Ahhh, it feels good to have some humor injected in this situation.

  50. watkinsnewan

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Jul 5 2010 13:37:42
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    I needed this right now.. just had to go back through it an reread it.an bump it back up . have fun reading it..

  51. Mitsarrichuno

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Jul 5 2010 13:45:36
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    "petrified that you've infected your workplace"

    AMEN!

  52. Jenn28

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Jul 5 2010 15:37:58
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    Places to have sex other than the bedroom. I loved that one. LOL!!!!

  53. acgogo57

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Jul 6 2010 21:33:56
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    Regarding vacuums. I spent hundreds on pesticides and cleaners with very little success. I finally took a look at my vacuum and realized that it broken! Anyway, I was up for buying a new one and I spent the money on a top of the line model that starts with a Dy. I am now picking up about ten times more than my previous vac and speding less on pesticides. I have also started vacuuming the bed (it has a bed bug cover) and it can easily pick up every little speck whether its a bed bug or not. It cost a lot but I it has been worth it. I can say that bugs are down about %80 - %90.

  54. Ratorja

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Wed Jul 7 2010 16:58:11
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    You laugh if someone says they have a roach problem.

    When you visit other people, they think you're admiring their home when really, you're looking for fecal matter.

    You LONG for someone to tell you they're just carpet beetles.

    You care less about where you're going and doing on outings and plan more for how to prevent both giving and getting bed bugs.

    And a personal one for me this past week: The ONLY time you'd ever consider white sheets a good idea.

  55. bugnut

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Wed Jul 7 2010 17:21:42
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    I really did LOL with this one - how about this one (it was true for me)

    "You wake up with itchy red bumps on your arm and are thrilled to find out it is poison ivy"

  56. Eve

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Wed Jul 7 2010 19:48:31
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    And this one was true for me:

    "You feel something crawl down your leg, and you realize your edema is merely leaking again and are actually relieved."

    Oh, and for the record, the edema is harmless but annoying. And it's better now anyway.

    Eve

  57. trimfestation

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Wed Jul 7 2010 23:17:37
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    Your first thought is that the heat wave in New York might quell some infestations.

  58. trimfestation

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Wed Jul 7 2010 23:23:38
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    You find yourself playing devil's advocate regarding DDT. "Bald eagles aren't really that great, I mean, has a bald eagle ever saved someone's life?"

  59. Bed Bug Epidemic

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Jul 8 2010 14:48:42
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    Omg I needed this as well. HILARIOUS! I can't choose. All so ridiculously true.

    I'm always examining people's houses now. Especially if they step away to go to the restroom. It's a sickness.

    Favorite one-

    "when somebody in the room asks if bedbugs are real you drop everything and engage them in a half hour educational session. "

    LOL

  60. cilecto

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Jul 8 2010 23:22:54
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    You are the only passenger on the bus who's standing.

    You are the only passenger on the bus.

  61. Nat

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sat Jul 10 2010 15:41:42
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    cilecto - 1 day ago  » 
    You are the only passenger on the bus who's standing.
    You are the only passenger on the bus.

    Truth.

    On the upside they say we sit down too much so standing on an empty bus/subway/train is helping you be more healthy.

  62. Bed Bug Epidemic

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Jul 12 2010 14:55:40
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    I wouldn't sit in the waiting room of the place I got my oil change the other day, Nor would I let my kids go in there and sit. They were saying it's hot, why do we have to stay out here when there's a cool room with chairs in there! All I could see was the "cloth" on those chairs...I couldn't do it! lol

    Also, went to a wake where everyone was sitting on couches near a window with floor length drapes. I was FROZEN with fear!

    The bus one, HILARIOUS.
    I'm going to combine them all into one and post it for a good laugh for all.

  63. Jacksfullofaces

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Jul 13 2010 4:21:49
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    You fling yourself to the floor to check out a harmless insect
    You always know where your magnifying glass and loupes are
    you can't resist examining brand new matresses to see if there are bugs hiding in them
    you wonder how many bugs are in that discarded matress or item of furniture dumped in the street
    you are happy to see a cat flea
    you aren't bothered about being bitten by a cat flea
    your husband's reading light gets brandished in the depths of the night because he had an itchy toe
    Jacks

  64. BBsonme

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Jul 27 2010 21:41:18
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    You plan your summer vacation after checking the Bed Bug hotel registry.

  65. freakedoutandbroke

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Jul 27 2010 22:19:58
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    The stuffed animals from your childhood, which you've been saving for your future children, become collateral damage.

    You carry hydro-cortisone cream in your purse.

    You eat organic, but when it comes to your home... "nuke em' from orbit!"

    Reading in bed? No, what if I fell asleep and contaminated my book!

    When you find an ant in your home, you consider making it bite you so you can be sure that those marks on your skin are not ant bites...

    You have to throw out your crocs, not because they're butt-ugly or worn out, but because they shrank in the oven.

    You consider a dust ruffle an act of faith.

  66. BBsonme

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Fri Jul 30 2010 17:56:16
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    You consider a dust ruffle an act of faith.

    That's a good one!!!!

  67. Jenn28

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Fri Jul 30 2010 18:02:22
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    cilecto - 3 weeks ago  » 
    You are the only passenger on the bus who's standing.
    You are the only passenger on the bus.

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

  68. Beth

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sat Jul 31 2010 11:40:57
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    You switch out the upholstered desk chair in the library for one of the small children's wooden ones to sit on

    Yes, standing on the bus

    All of your furniture is plastic or metal

    Your floor looks like a cocaine bust gone wrong

    You have three zip loc bags of clothing and towels left to your name

    Every crevice in your home gives you a panic attack

    You know more about carpentry than you ever thought possible

    You are more concerned about running out of paper towels than toilet paper

    You take the garbage out every day

    You are sure no temps could be lethal enough to penetrate your comforter or pillow and constantly buy new ones

    You move three times

    You wonder if you can packtite yourself (ok, that one's a joke!)

  69. infestedwbb

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sun Aug 1 2010 14:48:26
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    - You squish bugs like it's nothing

    - You get used to the smell of squished bugs

    - You're happy the content of the squished bug is dark and not red blood (gotcha sucker)

    - You talk lenghtly with next to strangers about squishing bugs, the blood

    - You lay awake at night trying to find funny sentences about bedbugs (always wished I was The Vampire Slayer as a teen, well I'll have to settle for bedbug squisher)

    - After years of not buying any spray (it's bad for the earth) you buy an OFF-spray (well earth bit you in the ass first)

    - You finally see the upside of having a white cat

    - The two summer visits from your friends with benefits are canceled and actually it's not that bad since the libido is fried everyday with the sheets.

    - You wanted to visit friends in another city for the last time before moving far away but no one wants to host you and a hotel night does not sound great !

    - you decided against buying second hand furniture and for living with boxes the time necessary to get the money to buy new furniture

  70. Eve

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sun Aug 1 2010 21:09:03
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    - You're vaguely grateful for the mosquito explosion in your town (ours started at the beginning of the week) because then you don't have to worry about others seeing the bug bites.

    Eve
    <who turns out to be massively sensitive to mosquito bites though non-responsive to the anti-heroes of this board>

  71. bug-tired

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sun Aug 8 2010 10:45:55
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    bedbugger.com is your home page

  72. jp 5800

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Sep 9 2010 4:10:32
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    LOL this cracked me up.

    When a teen spends more time on bedbugger forums than on facebook and myspace.

    How about

    When you spend more time looking for bugs than looking for hot girls around campus.

  73. OhDearMe

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Sep 9 2010 12:23:21
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    grossbugs - 1 year ago  » 
    omg! i can't believe someone else has asked the "is that a pimple or a bug bite" question! i thought i had spread bed bugs to my poor bf until he embarrassingly admitted to a case of bacne!

    Ugh! Its funny you mention this. I would have completely forgotten about this, except I remembered it in the paranoia induced haze I have been in. When I lived with my now ex boyfriend, a few months ago, he complained to me about getting bitten like 6 times in the night by a mosquito. Knowing little about bed bugs, I doubted this for the simple fact that mosquitoes WILL choose to feast on me repeatedly even in the presence of other people, unless I have doused myself head to toe in repellant. (Its happened countless times with countless people.) I had taken no such precaution that night and found it hard to believe that he would have gotten bitten and I didn't, but thought nothing more of it. He never mentioned getting bitten again.

    While looking through the bite gallery I saw a picture that resembles "bacne" and it conjured an image of my boyfriend's back. (I am not sure when I remember this from.) I have since wondered if he had gotten bed bug bites, I know in many cases only one person in a couple will get bit, or that some people don't react at all. That was months ago, he never mentioned getting bitten again, but its interesting how bites can resemble bacne.

  74. OhDearMe

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Sep 9 2010 12:25:27
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    I should also add that we have broken up since and moved from that apartment, and are no longer on speaking terms, so I can't even ask him if he has been getting bitten since.

    However, the complaint of those bites from what I remember, was months before we broke up, and he didn't complain again after that.

  75. OhDearMe

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Sep 9 2010 12:28:42
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    BBsonme - 11 months ago  » 

    -- You're on all fours so much the dog starts trying to do you
    -- You can't do your spouse without keeping one eye open for bed bugs

    Ahahahahaha!! Hysterical!

  76. mnsbuggy

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Mon May 16 2016 19:35:47
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    I know this is old but it made me laugh so much :).

    For me it's the sheets of paper filled with taped on lint. My motto is 'tape first, inspect later.'

    Thank y'all for the much needed smiles.


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