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Roommate threatening to move out, so stressed and anxious... help.

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  1. ughmakethemgoaway

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Mon Oct 5 2015 11:26:21
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    So I got bedbugs from my ex right after a really bad breakup with him, about two months ago. I am 23 and moved to a new city to be with this guy, it didn't work out, I knew he had bed bugs but we thought we were being careful when he came to my place. And now I am alone in a new city, with bed bugs. And I feel ashamed of having let these stupid bugs into my apartment. So right off the bat, I've had to deal with the huge problem of having bedbugs, and being emotionally distressed all the time. I've been depressed and extremely anxious for a while.

    I've had an exterminator come and have had my place treated a grand total of 4 times already. I've done all the prep. My landlord has very paid for three of the treatments, but since then I've had to pay, and I work retail and am not exactly rich. I thought they were gone after the 4th treatment, having not seen them for a week. But today... I woke up with 3 bites, one on my foot and two on my arm. UGH.

    One of my roommates is a 32 year old doctor who just started a full time job at a hospital, where he works 80-100 hour weeks sometimes. So I can understand that it's a problem for him to have these bugs. He has had the bugs in his room, and reacts a lot more strongly to the bites than I do. He hasn't been sleeping in the apartment for weeks, and the last time he came in he immediately got bit and freaked out and said he was really thinking of moving out. This poses a HUGE problem for me- what the hell am I supposed to do if he moves out? Find a new roommate for a room infested with bed bugs? Will I be responsible for his rent? I'm scared to tell him that I got bitten again. I'm terrified that he'll move out. It's worse than just having the bugs. I can deal with being bitten, but having to find a new roommate with all of this shit going on is almost too much for me to deal with.

    The last time, I offered to prep his room and all his stuff, which was exhausting, but now he's demanding I sleep in his room for a few nights to "test the waters." (Which I'm not doing, because I just do not want to do that, and he demanded, and didn't ask me, which is not cool.) Not to mention that I've been taking care of his elderly cat the entire time he's been away, which he didn't even ask me to do, but I can't just let his cat die, of course...

    For anyone wondering why I don't just move back to where I came from - I moved here after college to get away from my parents and live my own life, and I am incredibly stubborn and don't want to give up. I like my apartment, I like my job, I like this city, and I'm starting to make friends here (although this situation certainly doesn't help) and I won't give up on it just yet. And I know I'd probably take these hellish bugs back with me, anyways.

    I don't know what I'm asking for, except maybe a little emotional support. I'm barely hanging onto my sanity by a thread right now. It'd be nice to talk to someone who knows a little bit of what I'm going through.

  2. Distressed in NJ

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Mon Oct 5 2015 11:44:07
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    Hi ugh. I'm sorry about what you are going through. I have had recurring problems with these things for more than a year and a half. I've recently completed my 4th professional set of treatments. I expect the bugs to return in a matter of months. At this point I just hope I'm able to move before it gets bad again. I worry I will bring them with me though. I have gone through the same anxiety and depression. I am considerably calmer right now since the recent extermination. I completely understand the stress you are going through and the emotional, financial and physical toll this takes.

  3. Richard56

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Mon Oct 5 2015 12:39:32
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    Sorry what you're going through. It's part of the nature of bed bugs that one problem begets more problems. So as not to be overwhelmed, probably best to just focus on getting rid of the bed bugs, and once that is accomplished the roommate situation should take care of itself.

    The fact that you just got bites doesn't necessarily mean it was from bed bugs. Do you know how to inspect and monitor? Has the PCO come back for an inspection?

    In any event, sometimes multiple treatments are necessary, and that can mean more than 4. Don't know what city you're in, but in many cities the landlord is responsible for ALL treatments, not just for a few treatments.

    Bottom line, try not to get overwhelmed with all the ramifications of having bed bugs and just focus on getting rid of them. With time and effort, most people do get bed bug problems resolved especially if you have a professional involved.

    Richard

  4. jim danca

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Mon Oct 5 2015 13:11:53
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    Hopefully, you're not letting the cat roam freely through the apartment. The cat could sustain a bedbug population.

    PCO and inventor of a bio active bedbug trap

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