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On light side--My recycled bedbugs@Christmas Poem

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  1. bedbugsuptown

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Thu Dec 25 2014 8:50:22
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    IF YuR FEEling CHRisTMAS BLUES

    If yur stressed out and feelin' batty
    cuz yur livin' on a prayer.
    They'll be hiding beneath the lining,
    They can hide most anywhere.
    Are they in yur bed, or just in yur head
    Shine a light in the early hours.
    Just ease your mind, and take some time,
    Please don't go crazy.

    Should you shortly find that yur home sweet homes'
    A-lookin' more like a bloody crime scene.
    Oh yesiree got some evidence
    squashed here right between my thumb.
    Sure it's really bloody nasty
    Suckers seem just a bit too crafty,
    And the tubs fulla' bags not gin-
    Will we ever stand a tree again?

    And if yer feelin' kinda' fried, wondering will this ever end?
    Don't hesitate to self medicate just let yerself go numb.
    Please, do not forget about all you've done-
    You dun shot yur couch off to Kingdom Come
    And keep in mind that the day will arrive
    When all your steamin' and sprayin' has thrived
    And yur PCO comes to tell you that,
    Your bugs are dead and gone.

    So if yur feelin' kinda busted
    Cuz you couldn't get to trimin' that tree,
    KEeP IN MiND ThE WaY oF TIME,
    Once again you'll be settin' pretty.

    Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to Buggers old and new. All the best!

    (a recycled buggerchristmas poem--bedbugsuptown c. 2000 sumpthin)

  2. bed-bugscouk

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Thu Dec 25 2014 10:11:31
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    Merry Christmas and I hope 2015 brings you smiles.

    David

  3. bedbugsuptown

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Thu Dec 25 2014 10:40:20
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    Thanks David--Merry Christmas to you too,

  4. cilecto

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Thu Dec 25 2014 14:00:48
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    Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night...
    - Psalms 91:5-7

    (Not an pro)
  5. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Thu Dec 25 2014 20:24:31
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    Nice to see you, BB Uptown!

    They
    Are
    Out
    There
    = TAOT
  6. Daylight

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Thu Dec 25 2014 21:00:16
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    Loved it! Thank you for the cheer.

    Merry Christmas to you!

  7. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Fri Dec 26 2014 0:14:12
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    Nice one, bedbugsuptown!
    Good to see you and hope you had a nice Christmas!

    I started and run the site but am "not an expert."
  8. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Fri Dec 26 2014 0:23:54
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    Merged two duplicate threads into one.

  9. bedbugsuptown

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Fri Dec 26 2014 4:31:37
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    Thanks nobugs, cilecto. toat, and Daylight. And thank you nobugs for merging the two. Shite, I did it again...kinda embarassking....didn't Popeye say it like that? What me worry......nice to be here again.

  10. NY Bug Man

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Fri Dec 26 2014 17:40:46
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    Merry Christmas!

  11. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Fri Dec 26 2014 22:10:09
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    Merry Christmas BBUT! Hope things are well with you.

  12. bedbugsuptown

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Dec 31 2014 17:00:14
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    Hey bird, wassup? I'd love to put this risque Laverne Baker/Jackie Wilson called Think Twice on a humor themed thread. Its kinda' risque.....it's pretty dirty and was never released in it's x- rated form but it does have some kinda buggy lyrics Laverne Baker aims at Jackie.

    Nobugs might like it but think, mmm, not here....you know. And I love that women. Would never wanna' piss her off on purpose. Sides, dunno how to get it on here. Just sent it to my daughter in SanFrancisco cuz she got all hopped up about hearing this r&b/funk revivalist so I posted Tina Turner's signature Proud Mary and this Laverne Baker tune I'm postin' about on her spacebook timeline. I should probably cut and paste this into an im, yeah..................................

  13. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Dec 31 2014 17:14:56
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    bedbugsuptown -  » 
    I'd love to put this risque Laverne Baker/Jackie Wilson called Think Twice on a humor themed thread. Its kinda' risque.....it's pretty dirty and was never released in it's x- rated form

    HA! Like you’ve never done THAT before! Hahaha!

    bedbugsuptown -  » 
    Nobugs might like it but think, mmm, not here....you know.

    Well I was gonna say that she probably wouldn’t mind and to just mark it OT, etc.; and, in fact, I was going to go and embed it for you! . . . . .

    But then I went and listened to it on youtube . . . and, ummm, I ain’t post’n that here!

    Of course . . . you could always put it on this thread:

    http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/ot-songs-of-hope-and-faith
    (HAHAHA! KIDDING!!)

    Gotta Run! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  14. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Dec 31 2014 18:17:55
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    AbFr said,

    Well I was gonna say that she probably wouldn’t mind and to just mark it OT, etc.; and, in fact, I was going to go and embed it for you! . . . . .

    But then I went and listened to it on youtube . . . and, ummm, I ain’t post’n that here!

    Yeah -- I was going pretty much in the same direction and had a similar response to the song. Let's say it was the perfect music for deleting Russian spam accounts. Very satisfying.

  15. JustChecking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Dec 31 2014 19:05:38
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    On the lighter side ... (thanks, bbuptown for starting this thread)

    If anyone is offended by this interesting article, it's mainly for Abs (just for laughs):

    -something to do with riding on the New York subway

  16. robinsmom

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Thu Jan 1 2015 1:52:43
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    Merry Christmas from me and the crew. Hopefully that's a one cat crew....😉 and not any hanger on friends!! 😝😝

    Seriously, my prayers and best wishes for everyone here, and my gratitude to nobugsonme and the multitude of pros here, as well as the wisdom from the many others. May the New Year bring blessings, answers, and hope.

    I'm not an expert just a dumb struggling bed bugger like every body else.
  17. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Thu Jan 1 2015 7:40:27
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    JustChecking -  » 
    . . . it's mainly for Abs (just for laughs):

    Why thank you JC! I learn the most interesting things on this forum . . . Bed bug wise and, ummm, otherwise!

    And O.M.G . . . "Manspreading" . . . I was LMBO! I would never had known it was such a growing epidemic and problem in the U.S. and Canada if I had not just read it thanks to you!! LOL!

  18. JustChecking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Thu Jan 1 2015 14:07:19
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    You're welcome, Abs.

    Yeah, I know, I learn something new, too. This had been a mystery since freshman high school. During a bus ride, my friend said something that I didn't understand. Of course, she couldn't say it out right and out loud. That prompted me to ask what, and what again, ... what, where, and who. Then, she had to whisper into my ear.

    What a creative word, manspreading! I think it may be a global thing. It's probably because nobody has 'survey' other countries.

  19. JustChecking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Thu Jan 1 2015 14:14:05
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    So, Abs, how's your Christmas party? How did you store everybody's coats/jackets? Did you hand out an XL Ziploc bag to each one?

  20. bedbugsuptown

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Tue Jan 6 2015 15:08:56
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    Jesse Louise, I thought this thread was dead! Justchecking-- please allow me to introduce myself I'm a gal who uses - toothpaste

    -something to do with riding on the New York subway

    What am I missing? Something about nasty doings by the new 'hipsters' riding the L train to Bushwick?
    I don't see a link to sump funny. Wake me up Justchecking.

    Anyway, an excuse to bump this thread hopefully for s'more nonsense. C'mon, wake me up!!!

    Let's say it was the perfect music for deleting Russian spam accounts. Very satisfying.

    nobugs, you smart and funny. How do you come up with the dry, witty stuff. I'll bet you read or even write for The New Yorker. You've heard of Veronica Geng formerly of the magazine right? I know her brother Steve very well. He wrote a memoir that was published several years ago called Thick As Thieves-a brother a sister a true story of two turbulent lives. Got great reviews.

    I gotta go teach religion....................really...I've been a catechist for 8 years Just picture me preparing 53 second graders for First Holy Communion.....it ain't easy.

  21. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Tue Jan 6 2015 15:36:01
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    bedbugsuptown -  » 

    -something to do with riding on the New York subway

    What am I missing? . . . .I don't see a link to sump funny. Wake me up Justchecking.

    BBUT, the link is the word "subway" in JC's post. When you see a word in "blue" they have changed the long official link to a different "title/name"

    JustChecking -  » 
    -something to do with riding on the New York subway

  22. bedbugsuptown

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Jan 7 2015 2:09:00
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    OMG--seriously Abs, never saw the blue in subway. Scary. Like a flashback to the 70's and the lights in the subway car are flickering on dim. Jeeze Louise, never realized the gravity of the degeneration happening with my own vision. Well, I knew I needed a new prescription but yours truly, I missed the blue? Hey, anybody; someone.....shouldn't I win a blue ribbon for this?

    I did ask for a wake-up. Thank you girlfriend. Stick around & we'll lay it on thick. Yeah.

    You out there JustChecking? Check it out- see. About Abs's Christmas party--yeah, I hopped a plane. Abs personally greeted each guest at the door and proceeded to invite each and every to deposit everythong they had on into (you got it JustChecking ) XL ziplocs complete with individual & invisible microchips. For which I have no viable explanation.

    The lovely bird wore a black bustier bra/top ala snap beneath and down under. Beneath the bustier she rocked a pair of black fishnet stockings--the perfect vehicle to support a simple pair of patent leather tap shoes, clickety clack!

    Clueless to where this is going. Cigarette? Meet me on the fire escape. Let's keep it going for Auld Lang Syne. :idea:--I'm feeling y'all. Snap'n roll; the dice, qui. Yes, the manspreading, whoa! Don't want to sound like a know it all but that shit--:roll:, yesterdays news. We can elevate this manners misdemeanor to one of many benchmarks in hip hop culture. Now, given the circumstance I come across a manspreading man trying to take my seat..... look straight down on 'em and with a killingmesoftly/curt "scuse", they right themselves real quick. Goodnight robinsmom, I am well done. Ain't gonna leave no blood for the nasty browns.

  23. JustChecking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Jan 7 2015 3:05:08
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    bbuptown asked,

    someone.....shouldn't I win a blue ribbon for this?

    Hi bbuptown, I say the blue ribbon is all yours. I wonder who's going to award it to you?

    bbuptown laughed,

    please allow me to introduce myself I'm a gal who uses - toothpaste

    Please explain. I don't get it.

    Thanks for helping Abs answered my questions, bbuptown! I learned that no replies can't have too many meanings.

    You better watch out when bbuptown stares at you,


    look straight down on 'em and with a killingmesoftly/curt "scuse", they right themselves real quick.

    What's curt "scuse"?

    bbuptown said,

    Just picture me preparing 53 second graders for First Holy Communion.....it ain't easy.

    That's a lot of kids. How many classes? No, it ain't easy. 53 kids, really?

  24. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Jan 7 2015 10:05:28
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    Dear JC,

    I didn't initially respond to the Christmas party question because, well because . . . . as I posted before . . . .

    Sometimes . . . just sometimes mind you . . . . (as I told you before) . . . I like to hide my crazy!

    Seriously this year's get together did not produce the same melt down as the previous year's where one of the guests was covered in "bites" and I actually bagged up his coat, gloves and sweater!!!

    But would I actually bag all guests coats in zip loc bags in an effort to protect my home from bed bugs . . . Oh HELL yes!! (If I didn't think they would have me committed right then and there!) But I'm also up for asking all guests to leave their coats in their cars!

    As to you Ms. BBUT . . . . I thought you signed the Confidentiality Agreement that whatever happens at casa de la Abs stays at casa de la Abs!

    I'm guessing you didn't think my "Christmas" outfit was covered under the CA?! . . .

    What?! You thought the fishnets were too much?! (But the bustier was smok'n . . . wouldn't you agree?!)

  25. bedbugsuptown

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Jan 7 2015 13:01:24
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    Good morning JustChecking in. First order of business is to post this disclaimer: Anything posted between of 0200 through O500 hours is subject to abnormalities beyond my control. It may be genetic.

    That being said allow me to re-introduce myself.

    please allow me to introduce myself I'm a gal who uses - toothpaste

    That's a twist on The Rolling Stones 'Sympathy for the Devil'. The tune begins with Mick Jagger introducing him self as the Devil. The lyric is Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I'd like to edit that to-- Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a gal who eats toothpaste. Maybe the term gal is dated. Waja think? A girl who likes toothpaste....never mind.

    Oh, glad to see Abs got to you first. All of the yellow faces I included are in homage to AbsolutelyFreaking (to use her Christian name). Unless of course Abs is Jewish. I'd lay odds the lil bird is not Muslim or any of the more exotic religions of the world. That being said, scuse is just slang for excuse me, capisce?--that's Italian American slang for understand. Did I mention I don't always play with a full deck as inferred in my disclaimer.

    Yes, 53 second graders is a lot of names to remember. My second graders are in two classes on Monday and Wednesday afternoons. On Tuesday I have 22 third graders. I have to put a whole lotta effort into remembering their names. In February the catechists are required to write report cards. It's awful but it happens on occasion that I'm writing a report card for a child and I am completely clueless as to who I'm writing about. Madison is a lovely child. I've grown so fond of her. May God bless Madison on her journey toward finding God.

    That would be a rare occurrence but on occasion.....YAH KNOW--jESUS, MARY & jOSEPH I see the children once a week for 90 minutes....and I know all of their faces. I love all of my kids, it's a beautiful thing to do. And it takes some work and creativity to keep their interest. And it pays$$$$$

    I've got to prepare something to eat and get ready to teach my Wednesday class of second graders.
    Thank God I'm prepared. And JC (no not Jesus, you--if I thought u were a chick I'd probably be callin' you Jaycee. But alas, my feeling is thou art a male child. Yeah, I really am a catechist, fuckin' funny huh? Lil' Bird, I love you girl. Catch up with you tonite and yes, you were the cat's meow in that bustier!

  26. JustChecking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Jan 7 2015 16:00:05
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    Abs exclaimed,

    Sometimes . . . just sometimes mind you . . . . (as I told you before) . . . I like to hide my crazy!

    In the other thread, Abs, you talked about your upcoming Christmas party and didn't know what to do with your guests' coats. I think you also asked people here what to do. I was curious how you handled the situation. That's all.

    Thanks for the explanations, bbuptown. God bless your ability of remembering all those faces and names. Isn't it great to love your work?!

    bbuptown was wondering,

    But alas, my feeling is thou art a male child.

    Sorry to disappoint you, bbuptown, I can't do manspreading.

  27. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Jan 7 2015 18:03:56
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    JustChecking -  » 
    In the other thread, Abs, you talked about your upcoming Christmas party and didn't know what to do with your guests' coats. I think you also asked people here what to do. I was curious how you handled the situation. That's all.

    Yes, I knew you were referring to the previous thread in regards to your question. No, I didn’t ask people what to do.

    Regarding my response to you in this thread, I was merely (apparently unsuccessfully) trying to be funny and keep it light.

    That’s all.

  28. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Wed Jan 7 2015 18:39:59
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    . . . . and just in case anyone is seriously wondering . . .

    no, I did not zip loc my guests' coats. (This time!) . . . although I do still think it's an excellent idea!

  29. JustChecking

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    Wed Jan 7 2015 19:57:28
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    You're right, Abs. My bad. I mixed up your thinking of what to do with asking people on the forum what to do. Sorry.

    Here's part of the quote from the previous thread:

    Anyway, I was laying/lying in bed the other night (I think it's "lying") and was thinking about having people over at Christmas but didn't want all their coats in my house. . . thinking what the heck am I supposed to do with them? ...

    Enough said.

  30. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Thu Jan 8 2015 9:10:11
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    JustChecking -  » 
    You're right, Abs. My bad. I mixed up your thinking of what to do with asking people on the forum what to do.

    Yes, you are right . . . you were wrong.

    haha . . . I'm just mess'n with you.

  31. bedbugsuptown

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    Fri Jan 9 2015 2:48:28
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    Hey JustChecking, Dunno why I thought u were a guy. Probably the masculine gravatar you were assigned. Gotta' luv 'em. I see that your a senior member. Are buggers no longer allowed to post their own gravatars--is that even the right word? Thought I heard or deduced sumpthin about that.

    Anyway, it looks like a guy. And ur not a guy. Case closed-Thwack.

    Abs/lil' bird--luv post u lil' bird. Sounds much nicer that Abs. Like ur workin' on a 6 pack (or, more likely showing off the 6 pack you already have.) Now that I'm back I'm suddenly being abbreviated to
    BBU You know what that sounds like dontcha? It sounds like bad breath t' me. Nobugsonme, she's a smart cookie. She gets abbreviated to 'nobugs'- awh shucks, ain't that cute.

    I'm left between a rock and a hard place. Going on the lam with a new username and address. I'll be a newbite--a non-reactin' newbite all over again. The very thought of being a newbite makes me itch. I'm such a liar. But I ain't lying, I promise you nobugs, I'm not lying when I say I would never ever create a fake identity here @bedbugger.com, never!

    lil'bird. Dja ever read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy? Can you picture Nobugs with one a them crystal balls like the ones the wizard Saruman possessed? Or worser --Sauron's all seeing eye!!! I better get some sleep. NOBUGS-I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN and I'm not you know what. And it's all fine by me, what-ever.

    But damn. In nyc, after that horrible assasination of officers Ramos and Lieu? A few dumb kids with no real intent posted some dumb shit on spacebook about killin cops. In no time the NYPD had them charged and arrested. One of 'em turned himself in.

    Some sorry shit going around. Make a bedbug look like nuthin more than a rambuctious lil' tyke, no, tic, nooo----bedbugs need to die!

  32. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Fri Jan 9 2015 10:52:54
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    bedbugsuptown -  » 
    Are buggers no longer allowed to post their own gravatars--is that even the right word? Thought I heard or deduced sumpthin about that.

    Yes, users can still change their gravatar.

    http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/how-do-i-get-a-cool-picture-next-to-my-name

    bedbugsuptown -  » 
    . . . Now that I'm back I'm suddenly being abbreviated to
    BBU . . . .I'm left between a rock and a hard place. Going on the lam with a new username and address. I'll be a newbite--a non-reactin' newbite all over again. The very thought of being a newbite makes me itch.

    Susan, I believe that if you ask Nobugs . . . very nicely . . . that she can, and will, change your forum name for you; and therefore you do not have to go back to newbite status.

    bedbugsuptown -  » 
    lil'bird. Dja ever read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy? Can you picture Nobugs with one a them crystal balls like the ones the wizard Saruman possessed?

    No, but absolutely yes. . . . but she don't need no stick'n crystal ball when she has modern technology on her side! haha!

  33. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Fri Jan 9 2015 12:53:42
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    Ha ha-- yes, it's true-- I can now change a username if needed. It can confuse people, but not enough to constitue "witness protection", so there's the rub.

    And yes, you can easily change your Gravatar (profile image). Look at "FAQS about the forums/ how to use the forums" in Green Stickies for a link to a FaQ on this.

  34. bedbugsuptown

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    Fri Jan 9 2015 13:59:14
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    Your might be right about changing my name but what would Mick and Keith say. Rats on the west side, bedbugs uptown..........uh, how 'bout PinballWizard--love the rock opera. Named my son Tommy. And he never listened to a word I said. I'd be PW or better yet PeeWee! What I'd like to do is change the gravatar to another one a my portraits but my cameras broke. My daughter Meghan moved to San Francisco and I'm still helping her out $$$, till she gets on her feet--yoga, rotsa ruck my little shaman.

    Rats on the westside. They're everywhere in my town but I'm front sitting right in front of the Second Avenue Subway disaster, a friggin heaven for rats. My standard line whenever I'm questioned "When is the train coming" is Jesus will come before the train! It ain't bedbugs but when your living over it it's a real quality of life issue. And it's been going on for 'bout 8 years now.

    D'ya think I give out too much personal info here on the boards? I'm not really worried about some Marc Chapman stalker type come lookin for me witha bullet. My MO is to walk the streets like I'm one of New York's Finest--It works, but not with bedbugs. Those dumbfucks don't care if your packin' heat--the nasty hitchhikers love heat-ha ha not.

  35. bedbugsuptown

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    Fri Jan 9 2015 14:03:34
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    Oh, hi nobugs--yes I am a major fan a yours. Even though your everywhere and thats kinda scary from my point of view, yikes!

  36. Nobugsonme

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    Fri Jan 9 2015 18:15:51
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    Awww, shucks, BedBugsUptown!

    I think you should keep your name. The bed bugs will know to be wary.

  37. bedbugsuptown

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    Fri Jan 9 2015 18:24:37
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    Wouldn't think of changing my handle. Thanks Nobugs--same page (as usual?)


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