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OK...so what if you're a complete idiot and do everything wrong???

(2 posts)
  1. mam417

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Wed Oct 5 2011 0:03:17
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    I'm just writing so that I can avoid yet another anxiety attack...which seems to be a daily occurrence since my reinfestation. I'm pretty sure I was reinfested as a result of a random bug in a bag I sealed and thought I treated appropriately (OR i brought one home from work. I have NO freaking idea). Anyway, it doesn't matter. I was reinfested. I hired a PCO....again. My second. But I was SO crazed about sealing bbs in a bag again, I kept my bags opened during the first treatment. Then I read some things on here, and also had a very long conversation with the PCO, and they convinced me I had to treat every bag and seal them during treatment. So tonight I put something on that was in a bag I hadn't heated yet, but thought it would be ok because it was far away from ground zero. Duh. It was right next to the Packtite. I MUST be an absolute moron. Or in total denial. Anyway, a series of B-L-D bites later, I realized there were bbs in the clothes...they went into the dryer. But I had to go out tonight. Were there bbs on my body? Did I infest my car? Are the bbs scurrying upstairs to infest my landlord and bite his precious children as we speak? I'm really losing my mind with these bugs. I can't take one more second. Not one more nano-second of these disgusting, gross, blood-sucking, horrific beasts. If this was my house, I'd just the mf down. It doesn't matter if anyone reads or responds to this. If I don't write, I'm going down to the train station and standing on the freaking tracks. I am SO done with this. I am SO over this. I can't take much more of this. Now I'm afraid I've infestd my car. I've already done that once, and this is a new car. If I've done it again, I may not survive it. What a wimp. People everywhere are dealing with far worse issues in their lives, and I'm considering suicide over a stupid, dumb, idiot, disgusting bug. Last night I had to tell my significant other he couldn't come over - AGAIN - due to bbs. He (bless his naive soul) was willing to come anyway, but I wouldn't allow it. And I REALLY could have used his support. I really don't know how much longer I can deal with this without winding up institutionalized. I apologize to all of you who are dealing with far worse issues. It's just that I FINALLY got an apartment after being homeless due to this nightmarish recession. And I have not been able to enjoy it since I've moved in because of bbs. I know, I should thank God that I have a roof over my head. Many are not as fortunate. I know that, and I hope any of you who are unfortunate enough to read this will forgive my selfish venting.

  2. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Wed Oct 5 2011 1:42:24
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    mam417,

    I hear you saying that you're thinking of harming yourself.

    If you are feeling suicidal or thinking of harming yourself, please tell a professional and get help immediately.
    Call your doctor (or therapist, if you have one).
    Or go to an emergency room.
    Please do not ignore it or try to deal with it on your own.

    There are also hotlines and other resources listed in this post which may be helpful.

    We are not equipped or trained to offer counseling here, and so I do need to close this thread and strongly encourage you to seek professional help immediately.

    Anxiety and depression can be treated. If you are feeling suicidal, you must get professional help right away. And then you'll be better able to deal with bed bugs (if the problem does persist).

    I am also sending this via email (I'm the admin so that's how I can see your email address).

    I started and run the site but am "not an expert."

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