Got Bed Bugs? Bedbugger Forums » Psychological and Health problems caused by bed bugs (besides bites)

keeping some sort of normalcy

(22 posts)
  1. diebugs2014

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Wed Nov 18 2015 12:25:31
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    how are you living your life during and in between treatment while you're still fighting to get rid of these damn bugs. what are you doing to keep your sanity and keep your life for yourself and your kids as close to normal as possible do you still go out to eat to visit to the park take walks do you celebrate Thanksgiving. how do you maintain some happiness while going through this I am coming to De pressed more and more everyday I don't know how I'm managing to even stand up and get out of bed. I can't even think straight to help my youngest son with his homework. My Autistic
    oldest son is driving me bananas he needs so much I don't have it in me. I know you can't have visitors so how do you deal with the isolation. how can I survive this somebody please tell me how

  2. jendeo102696

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Wed Nov 18 2015 15:10:15
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    Wish I could help. I am dealing with this now too. The administrator of the site, NoBugsonme has been really helpful and suggests speaking with a professional if you are anxious or depressed. It's weird -some people view this situation as just a nuisance whereas others like me treat it like it's the end of the world. I am keeping it together only because I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE. My husband doesn't currently work so I am the sole breadwinner. I have a 4 year and I try to keep it together for her but sometimes I just break down, like this morning when I found two HUGE splotches on her face. It's OK for your kids to see you're having a bad day every once in a while. I think it's how you handle the situation after is what they see most. I had a good cry, told my daughter "mommy was just sad today" but that I would be better if I got a hug (which I did). I understand your situation is compounded by the fact that you have an autistic son but is there anyone you can talk with for a bit? A friend, family member, spouse?

    My PCO was confident we'd be OK after 2 treatments. Obviously we're not and I too am afraid this will last "forever." But I also have to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel because if I don't have that glimmer of hope, I would not be able to function. You WILL get through this. Hopefully soon, for both of us and everyone dealing with this issue, this will be a distant memory. Take care of yourself.

  3. FormerlyBuggy

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Wed Nov 18 2015 17:34:02
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    diebugs2014 - 4 hours ago  » 
    how are you living your life during and in between treatment while you're still fighting to get rid of these damn bugs. what are you doing to keep your sanity and keep your life for yourself and your kids as close to normal as possible do you still go out to eat to visit to the park take walks do you celebrate Thanksgiving. how do you maintain some happiness while going through this

    My best advice is to try to separate out what you can and cannot control and try to let go of the things that fall in the "cannot control" category. I find the Serenity Prayer helps A LOT with this.

    Get therapy if you need it. Most employers have EAP benefits (Employee Assistance Programs) that provide free or very low cost short-term counselling for employees or their spouses.

    Don't let your life be all about bed bugs. Put bed bugs in their proper perspective. The anxiety is natural - but they aren't dangerous. There are thousands of things that are worse than bed bugs, so keep that in mind. Then focus on the things you can be grateful about. Choose to do something fun.

    It has been a little over 4 years since we had bed bugs, so I have a clearer perspective than I did back then. But at the time, the thing that helped the most was getting out of the house and doing "normal" things like going to a restaurant, spending a Saturday afternoon in the park, or just taking my dog for a walk around the neighborhood. The more you can focus on non-buggy things, the more normal your life will feel.

    Humor really helps too. Look at some funny videos on YouTube or browse some of the off-topic threads here. Laughter is great medicine!

    diebugs2014 - 4 hours ago  » 
    My Autistic oldest son is driving me bananas he needs so much I don't have it in me. I know you can't have visitors so how do you deal with the isolation. how can I survive this somebody please tell me how

    Try to take care of yourself first. And be gentle with yourself on those days when you feel like you're not serving your children well. The more you take care of yourself, the better you will be able to parent them through this trying time.

    Is there anyone who can help care for your son to give you some relief? Can someone sit with him for even a few hours so you can spend some time taking care of yourself?

    If you don't have an Autism support group already I encourage you to find one locally or find one online.

    Just remember, this will pass. And you can get through it.

    I hope this helps.

    Melanie

    I am NOT an expert - just a grateful bed bug survivor willing to share my experience, strength, and hope with others.
  4. ChinUp

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Tue Nov 24 2015 10:18:02
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    I was thinking a lot of the same thoughts as you last year at this time. How do we celebrate Thanksgiving without family over? We didn't have living room furniture and the underneath part of our dining room furniture was coated in DE. We spent the holidays together without others visiting but we were fine with that. I may have over-reacted a few times such as the day I found them in my home, I had my family sleep in the living room with a circle of DE around us! It wasn't funny then but I find it a little funny now. I channeled my anger/fear of their presents and spent this energy to eradicate the problem after I learned what they are, where they hide, what to do?. I programmed myself to believe that with each passing day there were no signs, we were one day closer towards ridding them from our home. If there was a sign or even if I wasn't sure but it looked like a bite mark, I steamed the room and washed/dried bedding again even if I just did it 3 days ago. It was difficult at times to cope. This forum was very useful to help me through some difficult days by just reading other stories being as it was successful or still battling . If it's too overwhelming, talk to someone professionally. There are far worse fears to be had. This is something you have a level of control over even if at times you feel helpless and that's normal too.. atleast it was for me. Time plays a big role but it will get better.

  5. feakingout

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Tue Nov 24 2015 10:52:10
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    Thank you, I needed to hear that. Living with it now. I feel like a horrible mother and wife. I'm consumed by all of this and just exhausted. Second treatment tomorrow so hoping for some hopeful news.

  6. diebugs2014

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Tue Nov 24 2015 12:10:48
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    Thank you everyone for reading and responding to my post it does feel better to talk to someone who is going or has gone through this at some point I'm still struggling my anxiety and depression and still I'm trying to hold on going to make an appointment with the doctor and the exterminator came again on Saturday a different one and again found no infestation other than the one bUg that I found. so its just driving me insane right now. it's crippling me.

  7. diebugs2014

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Tue Nov 24 2015 12:58:14
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    FormerlyBuggy - 5 days ago  » 

    diebugs2014 - 4 hours ago  » 
    how are you living your life during and in between treatment while you're still fighting to get rid of these damn bugs. what are you doing to keep your sanity and keep your life for yourself and your kids as close to normal as possible do you still go out to eat to visit to the park take walks do you celebrate Thanksgiving. how do you maintain some happiness while going through this

    My best advice is to try to separate out what you can and cannot control and try to let go of the things that fall in the "cannot control" category. I find the Serenity Prayer helps A LOT with this.
    Get therapy if you need it. Most employers have EAP benefits (Employee Assistance Programs) that provide free or very low cost short-term counselling for employees or their spouses.
    Don't let your life be all about bed bugs. Put bed bugs in their proper perspective. The anxiety is natural - but they aren't dangerous. There are thousands of things that are worse than bed bugs, so keep that in mind. Then focus on the things you can be grateful about. Choose to do something fun.
    It has been a little over 4 years since we had bed bugs, so I have a clearer perspective than I did back then. But at the time, the thing that helped the most was getting out of the house and doing "normal" things like going to a restaurant, spending a Saturday afternoon in the park, or just taking my dog for a walk around the neighborhood. The more you can focus on non-buggy things, the more normal your life will feel.
    Humor really helps too. Look at some funny videos on YouTube or browse some of the off-topic threads here. Laughter is great medicine!

    diebugs2014 - 4 hours ago  » 
    My Autistic oldest son is driving me bananas he needs so much I don't have it in me. I know you can't have visitors so how do you deal with the isolation. how can I survive this somebody please tell me how

    Try to take care of yourself first. And be gentle with yourself on those days when you feel like you're not serving your children well. The more you take care of yourself, the better you will be able to parent them through this trying time.
    Is there anyone who can help care for your son to give you some relief? Can someone sit with him for even a few hours so you can spend some time taking care of yourself?
    If you don't have an Autism support group already I encourage you to find one locally or find one online.
    Just remember, this will pass. And you can get through it.
    I hope this helps.
    Melanie

    I am having a very hard time getting someone to work here with my son. I have to be upfront so that leaves no one. He has not been in his program for four months but that is another story has nothing to do with the bedbugs. I am trying to figure out what to do but I am at a lost. I afraid for my mom to come she most certainly does not need this problem to follow her back home. I have been living out of plastic for 2 months now and I think i found another bug today. It kind of squished on the tape, but it was right on the damn baseboard where I found the others in the past. Just had the exterminator in three days ago. Sigh.

  8. diebugs2014

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Fri Nov 27 2015 11:04:40
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    jendeo102696 - 1 week ago  » 
    Wish I could help. I am dealing with this now too. The administrator of the site, NoBugsonme has been really helpful and suggests speaking with a professional if you are anxious or depressed. It's weird -some people view this situation as just a nuisance whereas others like me treat it like it's the end of the world. I am keeping it together only because I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE. My husband doesn't currently work so I am the sole breadwinner. I have a 4 year and I try to keep it together for her but sometimes I just break down, like this morning when I found two HUGE splotches on her face. It's OK for your kids to see you're having a bad day every once in a while. I think it's how you handle the situation after is what they see most. I had a good cry, told my daughter "mommy was just sad today" but that I would be better if I got a hug (which I did). I understand your situation is compounded by the fact that you have an autistic son but is there anyone you can talk with for a bit? A friend, family member, spouse?
    My PCO was confident we'd be OK after 2 treatments. Obviously we're not and I too am afraid this will last "forever." But I also have to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel because if I don't have that glimmer of hope, I would not be able to function. You WILL get through this. Hopefully soon, for both of us and everyone dealing with this issue, this will be a distant memory. Take care of yourself.

    Thank you for responding. It helps some knowing I am not alone in this. My anxiety is on high alert still. I am shaky as hell. I have never in my life felt this feeling. I wonder if its the school or school bus every time my son goes I panic. He has to come inside to get undress we live in a building, maybe something is on him. Its freaking driving me nuts. I am afraid to let anyone over, their dad, my mom what if they have them, what if they get them from my apt? How do you do it?

  9. jendeo102696

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Fri Nov 27 2015 11:30:19
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    Hi - I haven't been worried about getting them from going to my mom's or sister's houses. As far as precautions I take when I go out - I make sure clothes are put on right before leaving the house (and the clothes come from plastic bags). My 4 year old has stayed over with my mom three times since this whole nightmare started and I just make sure to heat her clothes in the dryer before putting them in a plastic bag before sending her with them. If I didn't go out, I would literally be in an insane asylum by now. We didn't have a good night last night - found three live bugs and this was 1 1/2 days after our THIRD treatment. I am tired of living out of bags, tired of finding bites on myself and especially my daughter, tired of the roller coaster of emotions. BUT then there are times I say to myself - I AM LETTING THE BUGS WIN??? We are a month away from Christmas and I'll be damned if my daughter's holiday will be ruined because of this.

    Not sure that your son would be bringing them in. I don't think many people truly know how they got them. We know the apartment 2 floor below us had/have them so we can just ASSUME it's from him but can never know 100%.

    Are you still being treated? How many treatments have you had?

    Stay calm, try to stay positive. I just keep saying to myself - it has to end at some point.

  10. diebugs2014

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Fri Nov 27 2015 12:03:53
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    Acockquote>jendeo102696 - 21 minutes ago  » 
    Hi - I haven't been worried about getting them from going to my mom's or sister's houses. As far as precautions I take when I go out - I make sure clothes are put on right before leaving the house (and the clothes come from plastic bags). My 4 year old has stayed over with my mom three times since this whole nightmare started and I just make sure to heat her clothes in the dryer before putting them in a plastic bag before sending her with them. If I didn't go out, I would literally be in an insane asylum by now. We didn't have a good night last night - found three live bugs and this was 1 1/2 days after our THIRD treatment. I am tired of living out of bags, tired of finding bites on myself and especially my daughter, tired of the roller coaster of emotions. BUT then there are times I say to myself - I AM LETTING THE BUGS WIN??? We are a month away from Christmas and I'll be damned if my daughter's holiday will be ruined because of this.
    Not sure that your son would be bringing them in. I don't think many people truly know how they got them. We know the apartment 2 floor below us had/have them so we can just ASSUME it's from him but can never know 100%.
    Are you still being treated? How many treatments have you had?
    Stay calm, try to stay positive. I just keep saying to myself - it has to end at some point.
    I have had four treatments from one PCL then my building changed management companies in this company sent a different pCO. every 10 to 14 days after treatment I will find one bug just one. both PCOS found no signs of an infestation in this small one bedroom apartment it is uncluttered I don't have a lot of furniture and its small both of them Found no activity but confirmed the bugs as bedbugs. so I don't know what the hell is going on here. I've asked management to have other apartments inspected in the building which only has six apartments and I'm waiting to hear back from them about this situation I'll be calling them again on Monday. in total I found 7 bugs over 2 months it's crazy. my son's father comes over every two weeks to pick up my younger son and take him out to movies or to eat etc. I don't know if he has a problem in his place he said that he doesn't but they. Do not end up back there anyway, he he doess not live close by. I'm confused. they do go to the barbershop together but what am I to do tell them not to get haircuts want to try some other plAce. he already thinks that I'm going insane.

  11. jendeo102696

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Fri Nov 27 2015 12:16:02
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    I would definitely push for an answer about the other units. I am no expert but I wouldn't think that your son is bringing them back from places he goes. But I could be wrong. I actually expressed concerns to my husband that because other apartments were treated on Wed, I was scared that it would send more bugs into our apartment and lo and behold! we find three bugs yesterday. It definitely killed any hope I was starting to have. I told my husband to call the landlord to have him call the PCO because the PCO claimed I was bothering him too much. However, if I see bugs there is NO WAY I am going to keep quiet about it. I want them gone.

  12. diebugs2014

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Fri Nov 27 2015 12:31:34
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    jendeo102696 - 10 minutes ago  » 
    I would definitely push for an answer about the other units. I am no expert but I wouldn't think that your son is bringing them back from places he goes. But I could be wrong. I actually expressed concerns to my husband that because other apartments were treated on Wed, I was scared that it would send more bugs into our apartment and lo and behold! we find three bugs yesterday. It definitely killed any hope I was starting to have. I told my husband to call the landlord to have him call the PCO because the PCO claimed I was bothering him too much. However, if I see bugs there is NO WAY I am going to keep quiet about it. I want them gone.

    do you live in New York also? did the other apartments have confirm bed bug issues as well? I definitely want my Christmas to be better than my Thanksgiving and Halloween. the kids deserve better especially after going through this hell. I hope and pray that success stories will be coming soon for the both of us.

  13. jendeo102696

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Fri Nov 27 2015 12:48:55
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    I am in NJ so not too far away! I am on the 3rd floor in a 6 unit building. The apartment two floors below me was confirmed to have them - and I think he was treated like 4/5 times already (this makes me very nervous). The apartment directly beneath me didn't show evidence but her apartment was checked and treated the same times as mine. She has gotten a few bites but PCO said she had a very small problem. I am scouring the forums now to read about issues after a third treatment.

  14. jendeo102696

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Fri Nov 27 2015 12:52:11
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    Just found another bite on my arm

  15. diebugs2014

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    Fri Nov 27 2015 13:28:08
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    jendeo102696 - 25 minutes ago  » 
    Just found another bite on my arm

    Oh damn. I am sorry you are going through this. Annoying as hell. I read in your other post you put up your Christmas Chtristmas tree. I am afraid to do this for fear that a bug may climb in it. Right now it is in the basement in a tree bag( not plastic). When they treat is that sprayed as well. By the way I have a cat too and live in a 6 unit building on the third floor. I have spoken to my next door neighbor and she has inspected her own place and found nothing but management has not reached out to her about inspections as of yet. Sigh. I guess I will have to keep pressing them about it. It seems like common sense just to be sure but they are waiting for someone else to complain.

  16. jendeo102696

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Fri Nov 27 2015 13:50:24
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    Yes my husband insisted we put up tree. I honestly don't know if tree will be treated. I, too, am in a 6 unit building - there are three apartments in the front, three in the back. All back apartments have had issues and are being treated. The back apartment on the first floor started having issues first and has been treated at least 4-5 times. We were next which I thought was odd because there is another apartment between the 1st floor and ours. In any case, the apartment below me has been treated the same amount of times as I have.

  17. diebugs2014

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    Fri Nov 27 2015 15:15:52
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    jendeo102696 - 1 hour ago  » 
    Yes my husband insisted we put up tree. I honestly don't know if tree will be treated. I, too, am in a 6 unit building - there are three apartments in the front, three in the back. All back apartments have had issues and are being treated. The back apartment on the first floor started having issues first and has been treated at least 4-5 times. We were next which I thought was odd because there is another apartment between the 1st floor and ours. In any case, the apartment below me has been treated the same amount of times as I have.

    Thanks for the support. I will be checking in and posting and keeping up with whats going on in your case too. Sad that we are going through this but happy to be able to communicate with others that understand. Everyone around me is worried that I am having a mental breakdown and sometimes I feel that I am close to losing it. Wishing for the best for all going through this.

  18. jendeo102696

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    Posted 3 years ago
    Fri Nov 27 2015 20:06:46
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    Glad you have people who care. I feel like everyone is tired of hearing me talk about it! But it's hard not too especially when I see marks on my daughter's face and stomach. Yes, please check in and I will do the same

  19. diebugs2014

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    Mon Jan 11 2016 10:29:49
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    jendeo102696 - 1 month ago  » 
    Glad you have people who care. I feel like everyone is tired of hearing me talk about it! But it's hard not too especially when I see marks on my daughter's face and stomach. Yes, please check in and I will do the same

    Hi, I have been offline for awhile. Had to stay away I was losing my damn mind. I see you are still having problems. Well so am I unfortunately. I almost made it to 60 days and yesterday I see a damn bedbug in my small hallway near a table where my son had just finished his homework. I wonder if the bug was in his bookbag in his papers. I am so disappointed. I am waiting for management to call me back with an appointment for the exterminator. I am truly sickened by all this. I thought I was going to throw up at the sight of it. Unbelievable. Managment has not inspected the other apartments and the neighbors claim that they are not having any issues, so as long as they are not complaining then managment is not worried about anyone else. I am tired of these damn plastic bags and this neverending laundry. I am so broke, encasements and all this other shit bills unpaid it is to much. I was hoping for a better new year but 2016 is not starting off so well. I feel like its starting all over again. I have searched everywhere in here, and have found nothing, then this stupid bug just shows up and ruins all hope. I just want to live a normal life like most people.

  20. Distressed in NJ

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    Mon Jan 11 2016 14:14:10
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    Hi, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I completely relate to the range of emotions you are going through. I had a terrible holiday season. I had a good Thanksgiving, but then started to notice bugs again in December. The last pro treatment I had was in late September. I've given up on salvaging my current residence and I'm going to move. I've had a recurring problem for about two years now. My situation seems to be unusual, so there's no reason why you won't be rid of the problem.

  21. diebugs2014

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    Mon Jan 11 2016 14:54:26
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    Distressed in NJ - 28 minutes ago  » 
    Hi, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I completely relate to the range of emotions you are going through. I had a terrible holiday season. I had a good Thanksgiving, but then started to notice bugs again in December. The last pro treatment I had was in late September. I've given up on salvaging my current residence and I'm going to move. I've had a recurring problem for about two years now. My situation seems to be unusual, so there's no reason why you won't be rid of the problem.

    I truly hope things will get better for the both of us. I can not afford to move, however this a pleasant dream of mine to just go somewhere where there are no bed bugs, but where is this place except for in my dreams. I have seen and read many of your posts, its horrible that you have been dealing with this crap for so long, people should not have to live like this, in these conditions, even worse when kids are involved. I know if this continues like this for us me and my two sons will end up in the crazy as hell ward. I picture my son at school right now wondering if anything is crawling on him or his stuff, instead of focusing on his schoolwork poor kid as if life is not difficult enough for him being the sibling of a severly autistic child. I feel like I am failing these kids in every aspect of life. Nobody deserves this sh**.

  22. Distressed in NJ

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    Mon Jan 11 2016 16:18:30
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    diebugs2014 - 1 hour ago  » 

    Distressed in NJ - 28 minutes ago  » 
    Hi, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I completely relate to the range of emotions you are going through. I had a terrible holiday season. I had a good Thanksgiving, but then started to notice bugs again in December. The last pro treatment I had was in late September. I've given up on salvaging my current residence and I'm going to move. I've had a recurring problem for about two years now. My situation seems to be unusual, so there's no reason why you won't be rid of the problem.

    I truly hope things will get better for the both of us. I can not afford to move, however this a pleasant dream of mine to just go somewhere where there are no bed bugs, but where is this place except for in my dreams. I have seen and read many of your posts, its horrible that you have been dealing with this crap for so long, people should not have to live like this, in these conditions, even worse when kids are involved. I know if this continues like this for us me and my two sons will end up in the crazy as hell ward. I picture my son at school right now wondering if anything is crawling on him or his stuff, instead of focusing on his schoolwork poor kid as if life is not difficult enough for him being the sibling of a severly autistic child. I feel like I am failing these kids in every aspect of life. Nobody deserves this sh**.

    It's a wonder I'm not in the crazy ward by now. I've had several melt downs.

    And don't worry, you are not failing your children. From what I gather you are a wonderful mother. I don't know what I would do if I had children in this situation. You are strong and resilient.


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