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I think I'm losing it......

(9 posts)
  1. AnxiousAllTheTime

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Sat Dec 24 2016 12:39:57
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    So we found a, what appears to be a light/mild infestation in my sons room. This is not our first time dealing with this but I feel like I'm going to lose it this time. I can't explain how this feels to anyone and them actually understand. It's Christmas Eve and all my kids gifts are either in the dryer or in the garage to be cleaned before they come in the house. I'm anxious and I just want to cry. The PCO came out on Tuesday and the house is empty of anything that isn't necessary. It's all in the garage pending a wash/dry, heat treatment in the bug zapper or a good rubbing alcohol wipe down. Their clothes are in giant ziploc bags. I hate that they have to live like this. Makes me feel like a bad parent because of it and the fact that my mood is less than "Christmas cheer". my mom says it will all be okay but I need someone that understands and knows how this feels, the completely desperate anxious just want it gone, to tell me it will be okay. I cry to myself and I'm going back on my Cymbalta for anxiety which I only need because of this going on. My son found a bug last night....first one we've seen since treatment and based on pics I showed him (he killed and got rid of it bc it was 1am) he pointed out the 2nd stage but said it had eaten bc the butt end was fil ill and blood came out when he smashed it. I just feel so lost. I'm sorry for venting but I don't know anyone that understands.

  2. bedbugsbugme

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Sat Dec 24 2016 13:06:34
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    I know how you feel. I had a very light infestation in July. I am still recovering mentally from it. I refuse to buy new furniture unil I know 100% they don't magically appear again and until I can buy couch encasements. I hate these things and I don't wish them on my worst enemy! I always wonder how some people shrug it off! I just hate the thought of them biting my babies and reproducing in my home. Yuck. Good luck and I just found living one day at a time helps. Merry Christmas.

    I'm not an expert. Just sharing what I learned from my experience.
  3. AnxiousAllTheTime

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Sat Dec 24 2016 13:23:21
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    Thank you. How'd you get rid of them? I know it can be done and I keep reminding myself of that. I just feel like I'm falling apart and I'm far from a weak spirited or minded person. This is my kryptonite apparently.

    Merry Christmas to you also and I hope and pray you're 100% clear!

  4. CleaningToDeath

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Sat Dec 24 2016 13:31:45
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    It truly is taxing mentally and physically dealing with BBs. But I think you throw the Holidays in there and it's magnified 100 percent. Our presents are in trunk of the car, or up high in a treated room, since in the packaging it arrived when bought online. Might wrap, but they won't be going under tree, but handed out. I can't bare the thought of anything on the floor. Mine began in the midst of some project around the house, had bought a new sofa, drapes, painted the ceiling, walls and trim in our Living/Den room. Yeah they followed in here when I freaked at seeing them on side of mattress cover (not the encasement type then), and threw box springs and mattress out. Little did I know I made the biggest mistake. So no drapes are hung as I don't want to chance them getting on them, at least the pictures were off the wall. As I type this, I'm waiting for my insecticide to dry so I can spend the rest of the day bellowing the Cimexa in all the rooms.

    My son lives out of state, and I haven't seen him since early 2016, was really looking forward to seeing him, will have to wait another year. My father-in-law is dying of cancer, he holding enough that not in hospice, but can't risk taking it to his house. What a way to be able to spend a last Christmas.

    I cry too, but allow yourself to cry. Some days are better than others. We all wish it was a one shot instant kill remedy. You are not a bad parent, nor a bad housekeeper, nothing. These things just happen to us at the wrong time, never a good time that exists. We will get through this together.

    Hugs and know we are dealing with this together now. We will hopefully be rid of this sooner than later, and stick around for those just starting their battles. This time next year, we both hopefully will be a thing of the past, but others will follow at this same holiday period, and will need our stories and an ear to hear.

  5. AnxiousAllTheTime

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Sat Dec 24 2016 14:14:49
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    I just heard about Cimexa the other day on here. Do you dust it like DE? I used DE when we had this problem about 2-3 years ago. Cannot believe I'm battling this again! Y'all help give me hope for sure. I needed that. Thank you both! I think this will help more than I thought.

    Cleaningtodeath I'm so sorry to hear about your son and father in law. I'll keep you all in my thoughts!

  6. CleaningToDeath

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Sat Dec 24 2016 15:07:57
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    Yes apply it the same way. I have my respirator mask, gloves, eye goggles and a paint brush. Just that light puff, kind of like holding a bottle of baby powder and barely squeezing it, just to see a light puff . Except I'm doing the baseboards down at carpeting and paint brushing the top of baseboards, and voids in the outlets and light switch box. Also I paint brush in my climb ups when I clean them. I've shut the door to that room now for the dust to settle well while my daughter is out, and husband at work. Just taking a breather now to let dog out, gather my bearings, then start heading down the hallway into the living room.

    Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts, as mine will be with your family also.

  7. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Sat Dec 24 2016 21:18:58
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    AnxiousAlltheTime,

    Sorry about the bed bugs. You can get through this but it can trigger or worsen anxiety and many here understand that.

    I hope you can find someone to talk to if you haven't yet. Many here have found talk therapy helpful. If you need to talk, there are also resources here which may help: http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/if-you-are-feeling-suicidal-or-anxious-1

    I also recommend checking with the PCO before you self-treat. If they applied a dust, it may be overkill, and if they didn't, you want to make sure they're on board with what you're applying and where.

    I started and run the site but am "not an expert."
  8. AnxiousAllTheTime

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Sun Dec 25 2016 0:47:52
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    Thank you nobugsonme! My anxiety and stress are definitely high however it pretty much is just those. The fear of reinvesting myself makes me a little OCD about the clothes, pretty sure I dried one load 3 times.....daughter wasn't thrilled bc I think I shrunk a pair of pants. Lol. It's like being constantly on alert. I bagged the clothes and we change every time we leave the house except my son where the bugs were found. He has bedroom clothes but if he's going to come hang out in the living room he changes into fresh clothes. Means a lot of laundry but I'd rather have a lot of laundry and less bugs than the opposite. I've talked to my mom and brother it's hard for them to understand the anxiety and frustration fully because they've never had to deal with it. I'm stronger than this and I'll beat it, it's just hard to remember that 100% of the time which is where the crying comes in.

  9. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Mon Dec 26 2016 2:02:02
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    Many here can understand where you are. You will get through this. The hypervigilance and all the extra work is exhausting. Do what you can to make things easier and take care of yourself!


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