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I hate these things

(15 posts)
  1. OhNoes

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 11:24:22
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    At the office, I look at my leg for some reason, and see a fleck on my skin.. I grab it... not alive, but "is that the patterning of a bug".

    So, I pull my sock away from my leg a bit and see more of this thing...

    I dunno what it is.. maybe a dead bedbug skin?

    I really can't take this anymore.

    Every time I get to the point of thinking, "Geez, it is about over", I see something that makes me spiral back into the bug paranoia.

  2. OhNoes

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 12:29:17
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    Sorry about the rant mode, but I need to get this out:

    The skin thing that I found earlier may or may not be anything. It sort of looks the color of a bb, and has the same sort of banding.. but so do scabs, and it is possible that it just came off an old bite?

    Also, it's clearly dead, long dead, so, maybe it was 1) in my sock before, and just got on my skin, or 2) was dead on my floor and home and got on my foot when I put my sock on this morning. Either way, I find it f!@#$ng insufferable to have to go through this every time I see any sign of the little buggers.

    That said, I did get a 60x-100x lighted hand-microscope device from radioshack over lunch to look at the thing (conclusion.. can't really tell)

    It gives good quality image and focus ability.

    What do other people do to alleviate the anxiety? Here I am having thought I came to the conclusion of "don't worry, it doesn't help, and you haven't been bit, and if you are, or find evidence, then you know to treat again", then I see this and am back in the "it never freakin' ends, die bugs die" frame of mind.

    Thoughts?

    Also, anyone else ever find a dead bug skin in their sock when it was on them?

  3. OhNoes

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 12:51:18
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    (Sorry to spam it today, but, more thoughts)

    Thoughts on the Anxiety:

    If I had ants, or even roaches, or even mosquitoes, would I be this anxious? No.

    So, why am I (and many others) so anxious about BBs.

    First, I think that it has to do with the way that the bites are a big pain in the ass, and knowing that they feed on us and multiply like rabbits is so much worse than a mosquito.

    Second, they are very hard to get rid of, and I think that we find that out and feel despair.

    Third, our friends. At least I have a real fear of spreading these things to friends and work, and my car, and all other places that will be hard to treat/etc. (That is why the damn sock thing has be anxious.. if in sock, then in ____ )?

    It's just a bug. They are just bugs, why am I (or you) letting them destroy my (your) life? We'll win. We're homo freakin' sapiens. We overcome, we adapt, we can win.

    If any sufferers are in NYC, someone should go to Wall Street and get the OWS folks to take up the cause of public eradication of the pests.

    So, maybe this thread is about more than just my freak out for no reason. Why do you feel anxious while going through this?

    Share, please, it helps us all.

    Solidarity!

  4. laststrawsue

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 13:05:15
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    By no means are you the only one freaking out. Bed bug infestations have a known emotional & psychological effect.
    I think it has a lot to do with the fact that they're biting you in your bed, when you're asleep. That disrupts your sleep, and makes you feel vulnerable. And then there's the physical reactions to the bites.
    Then on top of that all... lots of physical labour involved.
    And then the financial burden of dealing with the problem.

    I'm not sure I have any words of wisdom on how to cope, as I've already gotten medication from the doctor to try and deal with my situation (which is, I think, helping to some degree - in that I'm sleeping at least now).

    The only other thing that seems to help me cope has been coming up with a plan of action to deal with it, and then doing things according to that plan.

    But I'm still closely inspecting every tiny piece of lint. I constantly jump to inspect any minor itch. It's yeah, rather bizarre. I'm behaving in ways that just a couple of months ago, I would've called completely bonkers, and reason for being committed to a mental institution. Constantly checking sheets, inspecting every piece of lint, keeping all my belongings in sealed plastic bags, imagining bed bug infestations in every hotel I pass while driving. (As it happens one hotel I've thought that about while passing, I did wind up finding on the bed bug registry web site! So I don't feel so crazy about that now. lol)

  5. OhNoes

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 13:08:49
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    I agree LastStraw. THe fact that it is in the bed, etc, is the biggest issue (plus the dawk-awful itching that comes with the bites).

    That said, mosquitoes can bite at night in bed, and leave bad itches too.

    I think they are evil, but, I still can't put my finger on what exactly makes me react to them in a different mental way that say mosquitoes or ants, or annoying neighbors that bang the headboard at 3am. I wish my grandfather was still around so that I could ask him about life during the earlier BB years.

  6. AshamedandScratching

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 13:18:11
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    I think it's the fact that they crawl on you and *live* in your bed--your safe place--your nest--that make it so damn nervewracking.

  7. OhNoes

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 14:20:52
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    Ashamed: Agreed... though, I'm more frightened that they are in my car (which is my refuge and sanctuary... I used to love going for drives, and just hanging out in the car on the waterfront reading).

    It's kind of like, I can get bit anywhere, why stress about it? (Mind you, I have had two sets of mystery bites since this all started.... and those both occurred last week a few days apart after nearly a month of having no signs)

    So, I still stress, but probably shouldn't. I wonder if it is possible to get the point of thinking, "If they are here, they are here, and if I get bit, or see one, at least I know the problem exists, but freaking out about it won't make it go away, or make me find out if they are still here."

    Does that make sense?

  8. AshamedandScratching

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 18:05:29
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    Yes. I feel similarly. I want to move on and out of limbo, but they hide so well, they could be anywhere. I start to feel like that until I see something that worries me. I keep trying to string the worried-free days together.

    I don't want to be like my friend with his things in bags for almost a year.

  9. OhNoes

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 19:20:47
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    They could be anywhere.. thus I am getting my car detailed tomorrow to hopefully take care of any possible problem in the car.

    The other night, GF lamented how she wished we could go for a drive. She is pretty certain no bugs since we were in the car for many hours two weekends ago and she did not get bit. And because I have used the car (though never in it for more than 1hr at a time) over the past month and not had any bites (except mystery bites last week), she is "certain" the car is safe. We're gonna go for a nice drive tomorrow to celebrate. I hope celebrate and not confirm danger. :-/

  10. AshamedandScratching

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 19:55:25
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    It will be to celebrate.

  11. OhNoes

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 20:10:36
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    Thanks Scratching,

    I hope so. I kinda figure next month when I take my 20hrs in the car trip I will know for absolute certainty. They won't be able to resist my charm for that long.

  12. mam417

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 20:34:54
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    OMG, you guys...I laughed and cried simultaneously reading all of your posts...I feel EXACTLY this way - every single itch, every odd sensation on my body, every bump, bruise, scab, could be signs of a bb. I will tell you what is (NOW, anyway) a somewhat humorous story. I wake up the other day, with this huge welt on my forehead. It was like a day or two after my third treatment. I felt it, and it didn't feel like a bite, no horrific burning like I usually get. But it was unmistakeable - the "bite mark" in the middle, the redness on the outside...I totally freaked. I cried. I let out every curse I could think of, and made some up. I was like "omfg, why won't they freaking DIE already?". The whole day I kept going in the bathroom at work, looking at the area. Yea, the young ladies I was working with I'm sure marked me as a head case. It wasn't until a few days later that I remembered. I do temp work, and am at diffrent sites all the time. This particular site had this cabinet that was right at my head level. On the first day of work, I walked right into it...and banged myself good on my FOREHEAD. DUH!!! Laughed and cried simultaneously. Do that a lot lately.

    I wish all of you peace and a bb-free existence going forward. You've certainly earned it.

  13. AshamedandScratching

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Tue Oct 25 2011 21:44:44
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    You, too!

    This month's period brought a terror filled night of back-ne with it, so yeah...

    Fun?

    OhNoes, I'm sure your bloody charms will be the ultimate bait, but I think you'll just have a lovely ride.

  14. laststrawsue

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Wed Oct 26 2011 9:10:02
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    So, I still stress, but probably shouldn't. I wonder if it is possible to get the point of thinking, "If they are here, they are here, and if I get bit, or see one, at least I know the problem exists, but freaking out about it won't make it go away, or make me find out if they are still here."
    Does that make sense?

    Yeah, I know where you're coming from.
    All I can tell you is that I'm a LITTLE more of that mind & attitude now than I was a few weeks ago... But I'm almost positive it has a lot to do with the fact I went to the doctor & started on anti-depressants a couple of weeks ago, and I've been getting better sleep the last week.
    Not saying that's what others should do, but for me, it seemed like the best option to try to cope with the stress.

    And I don't feel like I have to feel ashamed or that I'm insane, because I've found this situation upsetting and disturbing.
    After all, my mother is 75 years old, and my SO's mother is 73 years old... And NEITHER of them have ever lived with bed bugs, or ever came across bed bugs... for over 70 years.
    So I just don't think living with bed bugs is something anyone should be expected to be automatically casual and calm about.
    I think if you ask most people who've never had an encounter with bed bugs... most would agree, it's not something anyone would ever feel comfortable about, and most would find the prospect disturbing and upsetting to some degree or another.

    Unless you're a psychopath with a brain deformity that prevents you from feeling normal human emotions, it's quite natural to feel at the very least uneasy about having a bug crawling on you in your sleep & injecting for your blood.

  15. OhNoes

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Wed Oct 26 2011 9:18:38
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    I say: If I wanted to give blood, I'd go to the Red Cross. The bugs had better start giving me orange juice if they want more blood!


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