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I could really use help, this obsession is ruining my life.

(8 posts)
  1. JrockJesse

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Sun Jul 19 2015 3:54:43
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    So 3 years ago, I realized an infestation was beginning to start and I literally threw my mattress out of my window, I don't have much money for an exterminator and I got rather obsessed with eradicating bedbugs, I started with putting diatomaceous earth everywhere, I vacuumed my floors twice a day after sprinkling some on, I put the stuff everywhere you could imagine....I went into a really dark place at that time, I suffered sever depression, I woke up multiple time in the middle of the night to check my bed, I would get panic attacks from just a simple itch, it was the most awful experience I have even been through, and the worst part is I am partly still in this state, I still wake up from sleep to check, I go to bed with fear, I have nightmares about bedbugs, I still get panic attacks. well I have not experienced anything in 3 years, I live with 7 people, and nobody has experienced anything in 3 years, I regularly check there beds, and I have not experienced anything, I came here because, while I was cleaning my pillow cases I noticed a small light brown stain on my pillow (I have had this pillow for 2 years) and I went into a full panic attack, and have been really really depressed thinking about having to go through what I went through before, I have checked my entire bed for similar stain and found none, I have not gotten any hives, do you think this is just a normal stain or am i blowing way out of proportion? I could really use your guys help on this

  2. sso955

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Sun Jul 19 2015 4:15:37
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    I can certainly understand and relate to the panic attacks, sleepless nights, and the overall craziness that bed bugs can bring into your life. That's why I love this forum. It helped me a ton when I had a bed bug problem about a year ago.

    That stain could really be anything. There are things you could do to test the stain. If you think the stain is bed bug fecal matter, you could use the bed bug blue fecal detection test. It helps to determine if the stain is bed bug fecal matter. It test the blood found in the fecal matter. I read about it here: http://bedbugger.com/2012/05/18/bed-bug-blue-fecal-spot-detection-consumer-kit-now-available/

    Unless you own a dog that can detect bed bugs and then alert you, you will never be 100% certain that you have or don't have bed bugs. But there are things you can do to monitor the situation if you know what I mean. There are climpup interceptors, Packtite Passive Monitors, etc. (Read here: http://bedbugger.com/2006/11/02/how-do-i-stop-bed-bug-bites-in-bed-and-protect-the-bed/). This forum site is full of great ideas/hints/methods that others say are helpful.

  3. ozbugz

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Sun Jul 19 2015 4:56:14
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    I so get your compulsive behaviours JrockJesse, I have been doing that kind of obsessive checking in the night and have had panic attacks. (I found taking GABA amino acid helped a bit with the stress so I could actually eat - I went days not being able to eat before that - but of course see your own doctor to get advice on what might help you). I also saw a psych counsellor because work has a free service, but the counsellor didn't really understand why I was so stressed - it's just a matter of getting pest control in, right?! Never mind that those bugs can turn your life upside down.
    Thank God this forum is here, it's a sanity saver.
    Sso has some good suggestions aimed giving you reassurance. Taking steps to help you monitor more easily should make you feel more in control and help your anxiety.
    I have just ordered climb-ups myself, as not knowing is too hard to bear and I am sick of thinking and dreaming of bbs constantly!
    All the best.

  4. Richard56

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Sun Jul 19 2015 13:58:51
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    Hi,

    You can post a picture of the stain for one of our experts to take a look. I think many people can relate to what you're saying, but three years seems like a very long time to still be experiencing the aftermath of a bed bug infestation to the extent you describe. If you can, consider some sort of counseling to deal with these feelings. Talk therapy can sometimes work, sometimes drugs are prescribed.

    Richard

  5. robinsmom

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Sun Jul 19 2015 14:29:04
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    I agree with Richard56. Three years is too long. You might have an anxiety disorder--or ocd. Have you thought of talking to your doctor about this?

    You can post the pic, but remember After 2 years, your pillow is bound to have some stains.

    I'm not an expert just a dumb struggling bed bugger like every body else.
  6. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Sun Jul 19 2015 18:14:54
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    I agree with talking to a doctor and/or counselor. (Note free or low cost programs are often available if this is an issue -- your doctor can help you find local programs.)

    I started and run the site but am "not an expert."
  7. endless_nightmare

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Sun Jul 19 2015 19:44:12
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    "So 3 years ago"

    "it's just a matter of getting pest control in, right?! "

    Just think about those two snippets for a little while and all the answers will come.

    OP, you have worked yourself in a special anxiety state (I was there too, many, many people are there already or on their way, and also slowly coming out of it)

    I kept having skin reactions, itching, worry, I would check and clean like a crazy lady. "It's just a question of the right PCO, the right pesticide, my case is special, they are hiding and I can't find then, I KNOW they must be there for sure, maybe that stain is a sign, etc etc". I went through it all, as many, many other people do.

    the bed bug presence or absence is irrelevant, because the anxiety state is way beyond that, in fact it has nothing to do with any bugs any more, it's a nasty self sustaining anxiety disorder that you carry with you

    your issue is not "how do I get rid of the bugs?"

    your issue is "how do I rid myself of this anxiety disorder ?"

    how about you switch the associations?
    weird stain = it must be bedbugs
    replace with
    weird stain = I'm worried about bugs but it's just my anxiety acting up (again)

    put ALL your energy in breaking those, write it down on cards if you like, post it next to your bed

    when your brain is "re-wired" by you, you'll feel better, this is key.

    a therapist, or social worker can help you, but the biggest help will come from you, and that help is already inside you

    Andrea
    not a PCO
    Spinal Cord Injury Advocacy/Volunteer
  8. eyeh@tebugs

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    Posted 4 years ago
    Sun Jul 19 2015 20:31:18
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    Just know you are not alone. I too had an infestation 3 years ago and just 2 months ago another one, which I know is unrelated. I had treatment last time and was able to move on. This time, I can't seem to get past it. I have terrible skin and so every little new mark must be a bite, that stain must be fecal etc.. Sleep has been hard, I can't concentrate at work. I know this will not last forever, what I need to treat is the anxiety it has left me with.


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