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Hall of Fame (classic quotes from forum users)

(15 posts)
  1. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Mon Feb 18 2013 20:24:31
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    This thread is for fabulous quotes from forum posts, whether serious or funny, intended or not. It will be a green sticky in a day or two, but I will leave it in the main forum pot for a day or two until everyone (hopefully) sees it.

    Please copy in the specific quote you want to nominate below. Here's how:
    1. Use the "quote" link at the bottom of the post you want to nominate.
    2. Copy and paste it all to this thread.
    3. If you can, delete the part of the post that isn't relevant. Don't delete anything in carats '<...>' or you will lose the formatting and the citation. If you aren't confident with this, just edit the quote to bold the relevant portion so I can edit the rest.
    4. Add a link back to the thread.

    Another option would be to flag a post for moderation and copy/paste in the exact quote. (Make sure you tell me it's "hall of fame" material so I am not left trying to figure out which rule the post broke!) If you can do it, the DIY method above is faster for you and makes my job easier.

    Please curate with discretion! And note this thread is for posts you find wise or amusing, not another chance to be snarky or attack ideas you disagree with. Posts which seem designed to poke at others in a mean way will be deleted.

    First nominee: Louise in this thread:

    Louise - 1 week ago  » 
    I'm a bit skeptical that the PCO you spoke to is "90% sure that it's bed bugs" if the only evidence you told him about is the skin reactions you've been experiencing.

    However, the fact that he won't say that he's 100% sure until he sends someone out to inspect is promising.

    I started and run the site but am "not an expert."
  2. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Mon Feb 18 2013 23:29:29
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    (Edited above post to add how-to directions.)

  3. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Feb 19 2013 8:44:24
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    Still think this is one of the funniest!

    EffeCi - 2 months ago  » 

    Its just weird that i found that little piece stuck to the bottom of my couch

    Not that weird.
    After a BB infestation, death BBs and skins are like Xmas tree needles, if you know what I mean...
    Do I need to look for the other parts?

    Sure. After that you'll have to perfectly reassemble the BB with superglue (please, do not exchange legs and/or antennae). Then finaly Lou will be able to reveal you what was its birth sign.
    Ooops, that was "ironic mode/ON", the correct answer is:
    OMG, no, why?

    http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/help-id-please-1

  4. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Feb 19 2013 9:56:31
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    I also found these quite funny:

    From Paul Bello:

    P Bello - 3 months ago  » 
    As we have enough to do in dealing with actual bed bug situations, let's not count our bed bugs before they hatch, OK ?
    paul b.

    P Bello - 3 months ago  » 
    Infested Couch at the Curb or Dumpster (Like at an apartment complex):
    What are these bed bugs going to do and what are the considerations?
    What do bed bugs normally do?
    As obligate nest parasites they tend to remain hidden waiting for their host. They don't sit there and quickly observe: "hey guys, were at the curb, WTF ! Now we have to wait till a college kid or someone else comes by to claim this couch. Or, what if we crawl across the parking lot to that building over there. I bet there's humans we can feed on there." That sh#t don't happen. For the most part we'd expect that the bed bugs in that couch would primarily remain on that couch waiting for a host.
    paul b.

    http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/hypothetical-question-on-bb-behavior?quote=155563#postform

    From David Cain:
    (In response to the question "how much torture can a bed bug survive"?)

    bed-bugscouk - 1 week ago  » 
    The only torture that they are particularly susceptible to is water boarding.
    David Cain
    Bed Bugs Limited

    http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/how-much-torture-can-a-bed-bug-survive

  5. Louise

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Feb 19 2013 12:24:15
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    Nobugsonme - 15 hours ago  » 
    This thread is for fabulous quotes from forum posts, whether serious or funny, intended or not.
    First nominee: Louise in this thread:

    Louise - 1 week ago  » 
    I'm a bit skeptical that the PCO you spoke to is "90% sure that it's bed bugs" if the only evidence you told him about is the skin reactions you've been experiencing.
    However, the fact that he won't say that he's 100% sure until he sends someone out to inspect is promising.

    Wow. The first nominee? Really? I am truly honored.

    I would just like to take this time to thank my mom and dad, my siblings, my husband and children, and of course the fabulous people on this site, especially our much esteemed host (not to mention the person who nominated me!), Nobugs. I couldn't have done it without you.

    Oh. And I guess I will also have to thank (reluctuantly) the damned bat bugs that led me to this site in the first place. Without them, I wouldn't have had cause to learn all that I have about their equally detestable cousins.

    Let me just add that I aspire to someday reach the upper echelons of membership, and will smile with great satisfaction on the day that "senior member" magically appears beneath my name. (And perhaps someday, if I stick around long enough - and post a whole bunch more - I may even make it to (sigh) the oldtimers' club. Ah, I can but dream...)
    .
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    .
    .
    (What's that? I've only been nominated? I haven't actually won anything yet and gave my acceptance speech prematurely? Oh my. How embarrassing... :oops:)

  6. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Feb 19 2013 13:18:19
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    We like you, Louise. We really like you.

  7. Louise

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Feb 19 2013 13:44:42
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    Nobugsonme - 26 minutes ago  » 
    We like you, Louise. We really like you.

    Snort!

    Perhaps I should change my name to "Sally".

  8. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Feb 19 2013 19:24:29
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    Louise, that was excellent. But, Mr. Bello posted on how to treat BDSM "toys" and elaborate procedures were discussed for each type. As usual, Mr. Winston O'Buggy was succinct and funny at the same time:

    Winston O. Buggy - 1 month ago  » 
    Obviously treating in any chemical manner is ill advised as these items may/will come in contact with sensitive areas and tissue. Blow driers (no pun intended) can be utilized by owner or their submissive in an enclosed area like a tub to treat. Metal gets hot so be careful. Packtites as previously stated might be a good idea, and again and again no pun intended.
    PS: Paul next time include pictures, lol.

    They
    Are
    Out
    There
    = TAOT
  9. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Feb 19 2013 19:34:39
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    And another to bump this into adult humor...

    This was a HappyThanksgiving thread and there used to be a poster from London named Soretit. She and Bedbugs Uptown would have these conversations that were so in sync. But, sometimes Soretit, since she isn't American, wouldn't know some of our sayings. And, BBUptown would have typos. The combination is summarized a little bit by Nobugs in this quote, but it really became a priceless interchange when Nobugs said there is a lid for every pot and one or both of Soretit and BBUptown thought she told them to put a lid on it:

    Nobugsonme - 1 year ago  » 

    bedbugsuptown - 2 hours ago  » 
    Nobugs,
    I hold you in very high regard. In the past I used to tell my kids to put a lid on it, like on a regular basis.

    A small portion of your payment rolls back to bedbugger.com to help support this PRICLESS SITE !!!!

    Nobugsonme, hopefully you know that bold type was a typo and not me playin fast and loose with words.

    Hey bedbugsuptown,
    I sure hope we have a Prickless site.
    I try to keep the language and humor civilized, but since this thread has already descended way down into the depths of the bed bug butt plugs and such, I figured, "why not?"

    Note:
    when I said there was a lid for every pot, I was not telling you to put a lid on it. I meant it seemed obvious you and soretit were a match made in heaven. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

  10. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Feb 19 2013 19:36:45
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    Mr. Bello and Mr. Effeci have quite a few. One was already quoted under Effeci's calendar page in the green stickies.

  11. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Tue Feb 19 2013 19:57:50
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    This link has some funny Haikus..too many for a first place (Nobugs you can delete my above posts if inappropriate for a green sticky...read that later):

    http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/bedbug-naikus

  12. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Feb 20 2013 9:15:48
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    Nominated by Cilecto:

    toledo - 2 years ago in this post

    I posted on the Puerto Vallarta board of tripadvisor, only to be told by a moderator, "There are no bed bugs in Puerto Vallarta. I know the woman in charge of the health department."

  13. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Feb 20 2013 9:17:11
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    Remember -- please nominate specific quotes from specific posts. Please include a link to the post or flag for moderation.

  14. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Feb 20 2013 9:21:00
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    Nominated by Cilecto (I don't think this one can be shortened):

    Itchy-Scratchy - 4 years ago  in this post
    It all started a few weeks ago when my elderly father was telling me about the bed bugs and rats and other vermin they endured during the 1930's on the farm. I, of course, asked how they dealt with the problem. My father said that his grandmother had a curse to get rid of the vermin. He swore it worked. They would wait until dark, after the local church bell rang, and then repeat the curse ... poof! Within two days, the vermin would be gone. I pressed for details of the curse, but my Dad couldn't remember the whole thing.
    After many trans-atlantic phonecalls to various family members, my dad has finally pieced the BB curse together for me and gave it to me when I was over for lunch today. I made him perform it for me and almost killed myself laughing.
    But here I am, back home. It's been almost 5 months of battling, and I'm feeling desperate enough that I am going to give this a try. I will share it here, in case anybody else is feeling desperate. I don't speak Hungarian, so my Dad wrote it out phonetically for me with specific instructions.
    With no further ado, for all my fellow BB sufferers, here is the Ancient Hungarian Bed Bug Curse :

    Wait until after 8:00 p.m. Ring a bell and in a subdued manner, chant :
    OOM KY KONYOO MONYOO OOM KY KEE
    POLO SHAKA POLO SHAKA MANY MAR KEE
    DOOGY MAGY KARA FARA KOONYOO MONYOO OOM KY KEE
    Repeat three times. Ring a bell when finished. No laughing allowed.

    I'll keep everyone posted on the results. Still not sure what I'm supposed to wear for this sort of thing...

  15. AbsolutelyFreaking

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Feb 20 2013 9:49:47
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    bed-bugscouk - 4 weeks ago  » 
    Yes this forum and its readers are bedbugs worst enemies because we always try to keep it factual and safe around here and try to help where we can.
    the hope being that for each person we help they will at least educate friends and family and sooner or later the world will spread faster than the bedbugs. I also make my own clothes and want to work with children and animals ops that was my Miss Universe acceptance speech, they often get mixed up.
    David

    http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/bed-bug-fecal-stain-id-needed-1


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