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Friends being treated for Bedbugs want to stay with us?

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  1. carmelle

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 17:19:16
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    Is it ok for friends to come spend the weekend with us 3 days after being treated for bedbugs?

  2. carmelle

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 17:20:10
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    carmelle - 26 seconds ago  » 
    Is it ok for friends to come spend the weekend with us 3 days after being treated for bedbugs?

    they have bedbugs not our home. thx.

  3. DeedleBeetle

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 17:50:47
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    Nooooooooooo....and what kind of friend would ask this of you?? I hesitated to even ask my parents if i could hang out at their house for the 6 hours or so that they required me to vacate my crib after treatment. I hated the idea that i might somehow -- even after taking the most stringent precautions -- carry a bb or two to their home. Thank God that didn't happen!...but that was only 6 hours.... I understand that the chances of infestation by bbs increases by spending the night somewhere....i imagine it also increases by people who have bbs spending the night somewhere?

    But..that's just my opinion..i betcha anything that most others will disagree with me.

    Sometimes i can be a real ...you know what!

  4. bbpsych

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 17:56:01
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    This is a good question. I can't speak for others, but I'll share my own experiences. I stayed with 2 different friends for several nights between the time I discovered bed bugs in my place and my first treatment (about a week). This was 2 months ago, and neither friend has reported any signs of bed bugs in their place, so I'm assuming (hoping!) I didn't take them there on accident

    Since then, I've visited many friends. They all know what I've been going through, and I always make sure they know I won't be offended if they'd prefer I don't visit - they've all been super brave IMO and have welcomed me with open arms (literally!). None of them have reported signs of bed bugs either

    At the same time, though, I've read accounts of people taking in friends afflicted with bed bugs and later becoming infested. In the end, I really think it depends on the measures your friends have taken to treat the things they'll be bringing into your house and to prevent spreading them.

  5. DeedleBeetle

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 17:58:43
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  6. bbpsych

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 18:13:24
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    hahahaha! I just saw DeedleBeetle's response - for some reason, it didn't show up before I responded earlier. I definitely felt anxious about spending time in other settings, but if I let it get out of control, that means I wouldn't even go to work. Now if I could got unlimited paid leave . . . I'd have not problem doing that

    On the more cautious side . . . I will say I was recently chatting with/considering dating someone who got bed bugs (from traveling, not me), wouldn't listen to any of my advice, and didn't even treat his clothes, soooooo . . . there was NO WAY I was allowing him in my current place (I didn't want our bed bugs to fraternize), and there's NO WAY I'll allow him in my new, hopefully bb-free place when I move next month. Besides the risk of getting BBs again, I really didn't like his complete disregard for other people in that way, so he's not even in the "considering dating" basket anymore. Wow! 3 months ago I would've never thought these little creatures I knew nothing about would have any influence in my dating life!

  7. DeedleBeetle

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 18:38:00
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  8. bedbugginNYC

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 18:38:08
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    If you know that they are responsible and trustworthy, I would say let them stay. You should set up rules they would need to follow to make sure that they don't bring bedbugs with them. If you can't trust them and you doubt whether they would take necessary precautions to not transmit them into your home, then do not let them stay.

  9. DeedleBeetle

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 18:41:20
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  10. nycyn

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 18:46:10
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    Why 3 days? Do they have to travel to get to you. Is a hotel beyond their means?

    I asked a friend if we could stay at her place if we had to, and she said no. I felt like the loneliest person on the planet.

  11. DeedleBeetle

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 18:49:22
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    Heyyyy...wait a minute...why must your friends stay the weekend?

    And don't they realize they should be staying in their bb infested home after treatment so that bbs will come out looking for them to feed?

    Okay..here's my position:

    I'm concerned about your friends. While you love them and enjoy being with them, you must deny yourself this pleasure because at this particular time it is not in your friends' best interest for them to stay the weekend with you just 3 days after their treatment. They should be staying in their home after their treatment so that they can sleep in their bed and hopefully entice whatever straggler bbs that remain to venture out from their hiding places to feed so that they'll cross the poison and get DEAD!

    Yeah...that's it!

  12. bbpsych

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 18:55:41
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    Yeah . . . it makes a lot of people quesy, and honestly, after all I've gone through, I don't know that I would let someone who I KNOW has bed bugs stay with me. It's terribly hypocritical, I know, and I would feel terrible if my friends didn't want me to come over, but . . . I'd understand.

    By the same token, though . . . lots of (most) people aren't terribly upfront about having BBs, so I bet it's very likely many of us have unknowingly had visitors who have BBs (I just recently found out one of my friends had them a couple of years ago!). When I think about all the gatherings I've had in the last several years and the levels of infestation in my city, I'm kinda surprised I didn't get BBs sooner, but . . . I'm trying my hardest not to let fear overcome me - or else I'd never go anywhere or let anyone come over!

  13. bbpsych

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 18:56:41
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    Great point, DeedleBeetle!

  14. DeedleBeetle

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 18:59:22
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    (just doing my job)

  15. controlfreak

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 19:09:40
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    While we still don't have a visiual confirmation I am behaving like we have them and go through mental breakdowns. In one of these situations I was crying on the phone to a friend an ocean away. He said get a plane ticket and come here to stay with me as long as you want. I first thought... plane.. yuck... Then told him he should not invite people like me because he can get them. He suggested i check myself into a mental ward and stay there. I thought... hospital ...yuck... May be ignorance is a bliss in his case. Fortunately for him I didn't have the money although right around second treatment it was tempting... I am even trying to stay away from dinner invitations. It is like I have an invisible thing stuck to my back and it is gonna fall on everywhere I step foot... Ugh...

  16. DeedleBeetle

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 19:45:22
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    ControlFreak...I almost peed on myself when i read where you wrote:

    . . . "I first thought... plane.. yuck... Then told him he should not invite people like me because he can get them. He suggested i check myself into a mental ward and stay there. I thought... hospital ...yuck... "

  17. Beth

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 19:58:53
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    Yes. have them take precautions. I have stayed with four different friends for four days to a week in this hell and infested no one. A person in need is a person in need.

  18. DeedleBeetle

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 20:23:14
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    Hey Beth!

    Of course i'm not surprised about your position on this issue because we've gone back and forth on similar issues before...but in this case, it's a bit different. These folks will have just had their place treated and we all know how important it is to stay in the treated infestation place after treatment to draw out the remaining bbs.

    It really does seem to me that what these people truly "need" to do in order to have the best change to get rid of their bbs is to stay put in their own house after treatment.

    They may "need" (and a good friend may be more willing to give them) a place to hang out for some hours on the day of treatment. Other than that, they really should be back in their home as soon as possible, unless there is some other urgent reason that we have not yet been made aware of in this fact pattern.

    I just don't understand why they have to travel that particular weekend? Doesn't sound like an urgent need to me at all. So far, on the facts, it sounds like a preference or a want...but not a need.

    p.s. I don't get the meaning of "a person in need is a person in need." I don't think you mean that we should be ready to help any person in need, do you? And, in this case, they may find that they will continue to be in "need" due to bbs if they don't follow accepted protocol and remain in their crib after treatment.

    i still urge a "no" vote in this particular case.

  19. BBQueen

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 20:25:48
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    That's a tough one. A friend offered me a place to stay and I told her I wouldn't go there because I was still sorting out my 'system' of cleaning and separating clothes and I wouldn't risk passing them on to her until I knew what I was dealing with and how I was dealing with it.

    I guess I'd want to know their level of awareness. The fact that they want to leave their home makes me think they aren't aware of everything they need to know. Before I had my place sprayed for the first time, I certainly didn't know about my need to stay and be bug bait for a while, and I wonder if they don't know.

    I know I certainly haven't been asking to go to anyone's home even though I take all the precautions I know about .

  20. SearchandDestroy

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 21:37:33
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    Yeah..this is a tough one. Awkward even. My mother offered to come and stay at my house during our treatment so we could get away from it all (she would take care of our 5 year old). I told her, and meant it that I so appreciated the offer but I would never take her up on it. I was really thinking...are you crazy?! But that's a mom.

    If your friends are worried about spray smell..then they should stay in a hotel for 1 night only then get back into their beds. Why risk your place? Not that I want them to take it to a hotel mind you, but it would be better for your friendship. We stayed in a tent on the night of our first treatment to avoid the smell..and would never venture into a friend's house OR a hotel for that matter.

    On a more positive note..my friend stayed at her sisters for a night during treatment and they have been fine so far. It can be done.

  21. bbpsych

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Oct 7 2010 23:14:28
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    I agree it can be done, but if you're leaning toward letting them stay with you, I'd definitely ask them questions about what steps they're taking to prevent spreading them. The more I think about it, though, like DeedleBeetle said, they should probably stay put and act as bait.

  22. WestSide22

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Fri Oct 8 2010 16:03:47
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    We've essentially quarantined ourselves. My mom - bless her - has offered countless times for us to stay with her, even saying that she'll buy new clothing from Kohl's or something and let me change in a public bathroom, put my "infested" clothing in a bag, etc., but there's that nagging fear. What if I bring a bug into her house? And since they are everywhere, if she were to pick them up elsewhere, I would still blame myself and think that somehow, I was the cause. My opinion: until you know you are free and clear, don't stay at anyone's house.

  23. BedBugPanic

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Oct 11 2010 14:42:48
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    My situation was a little different. Since I had no bed to sleep on (had to throw it out) and the new one wasn't going to be delivered until the next following days, I had nowhere to sleep. So my friend suggested I crash at their place (I explained that it might not be a good idea but she insisted) and I took all the precautions possible (clothes brought with me were fresh from ziplocks and carried in a ziplock and had another empty ziplock to put the dirty laundry into, stripped in front of the door, showered, changed into fresh clothes and laundered what I came with (which was stored in the dirty laundry ziplock) on hot wash and dry. Coat was tossed in dryer and shoes for good measure). This has been several months ago, and she has had no BBs.

  24. Richard56

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Oct 11 2010 15:10:41
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    I could list several practical reasons why it isn't a good idea. And as to your friendship, think of how that will be affected if they accidentally infect your home.

    Richard

  25. Sleepless in NYC

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Mon Oct 11 2010 23:58:30
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    If I were your friends, I wouldn't even consider staying with you. With what is considered an epidemic, who's to say you wouldn't bring a bb home yourself? In that case, I would never want a question in anyone's mind of whether or not I was the bearer of the unwanted gift


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