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eight months and struggles...

(6 posts)
  1. heartattackhelpme

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    Posted 11 years ago
    Tue Jul 29 2008 1:12:05
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    I really have a complex problem that I do not know how to solve it. Some adice might be helpful. I took my son on a holiday to Univeral sutdios and came home with them. My son goes to his Father's every second weekend and I believe that the bbs might be there too. I keep on having treatments and then they reappear. I keep on begging his Father to have an inspection but he explains that his girlfriend won't allow it because it will upset their cat. They also do not believe that they have a problem there. My son's bedroom is in there basement, not upstairs and well we also know that bbs do not affect everyone the same way. As a matter of fact my son did not have any alergic reactions in the beginning even though there was evidence in his room, bed and in his closet. Then he did start to react the same way I did.
    Also dogs smelt evidence on his coat that was at his Father's for 6 months until recently. So that is the main reason that I really got suspicious.
    I have always felt proud of the fact that I have been very friendly with ex, my son's Father for my son's well being. He met his curruent partner when my son was One years old, and even though I was hurt I got past it and my son is 15 now.
    This situation has us not talking for the first time in 28 years. He will not assist me in the discovery of having an inspection at his house. He got so verbally abusive that I simply won't ask him to cooperate with helping us.
    I have had 8 pco treatments and one
    thermal treatment. This is costing me so much money and I do not believe that any of the companyies care about resolving this.
    I now have strict instructions for the ex to not enter my home and my son has strict instructions to bring only one set of clothes there and home which go straight into the drier.
    With school coming up and books, back packs I am worried.
    Should I just keep my son here and deprive him of contact with his Father? Even with the smell on my son's clothing there isn't physical proof.
    They haven't seen a bb there. Could they still be only dwelling here after 8 months even after all of the work.
    I have everything in ziplocs, our clothes, towels, blankets and shoes.
    I put everything in the drier after on day of use, sheets, clothes before washing. I am so free of clutter that I have thrown out my couch, chairs and most pillows and blankets. The beds and pillows are encased. We are living a life of simplicity.
    Is there anything that I can do to find resolution? Is this normal that it should take so long to clear my home of this problem. I think legal mediation may help but I cannot find anything on line that resembles my story.

  2. buggyinsocal

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    Posted 11 years ago
    Tue Jul 29 2008 1:31:05
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    I'm sorry that you've been battling so long, and I'm so new that I don't feel like I have anything to say that you don't already know, but I can at least sympathize with you on this front: they don't want the place inspected because it will upset the cat? Seriously? That's the explanation?

    I mean, look, of course it's possible that the BB are coming from somewhere else. As for whether they could still be around after 8 chemical and thermal treatments, gosh, I sure hope not. That just sucks.

    But back to the cat. Is their cat more than 15 years old and in poor health? I mean, seriously. Unless the cat is on its absolute last legs, an inspection, even with a dog, could be managed. (My cat is a giant chicken who runs away afraid from chihuahuas that she could sit on. I'm planning on getting a BB dog to check my place out once I've gotten the place fully cleaned up and sifted through the items I removed before thermal treatment. My cat will go into a carrier while they inspect. The cat can go to the groomer or the vet to be boarded for an afternoon while the place is inspected. Yes, there are some cats who freak out if you move them, but they're a pretty small percentage of catdom. Is this cat esp. skittish?)

    I think I'm focusing on the cat thing because unless there are unusual circumstances (the cat pees itself everytime it's put in a carrier and it's terrified of dogs and the inspection will have to involve a dog, or the cat is terrified of people and 20 years old and weeks away from dying), it's possible that the whole "Cat" thing is getting used as an excuse for some other reason they don't want the place inspected, like they're in denial.

    I mean, it sounds to me like you're writing to figure out if you're imagining that possibility, right? Well, from where I sit, the verbally abusive thing combined with the WAcky Cat Excuse may mean that if your gut is telling you that something is hinky with his explanation, there probably is something hinky and you're probably not imagining it.

    I'm not a lawyer in any way, shape, or form, but my gut tells me that you should talk to one before you prohibit your son from going to visit his dad. The last thing you want on top of all the stress from BB is for your ex to start fighting you in the legal system over visitation.

    I hope things get better soon. I hope other people who've been fighting this longer can give you more helpful specifics than I can. Hang in there.

  3. fightorflight

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    Posted 11 years ago
    Tue Jul 29 2008 2:35:11
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    Oh this is so sad. If you can't control the environment at your son's father's house, then the best you can do is everything to make sure that nothing in your home or on your son cross-contaminates with his father's house. That's a short way of putting it, but I think you know what I mean and maybe have been already doing it. Then, if you continue to battle and treat the problem at your home, you shouldn't have to worry so much about whether the father will do what he should. Bedbugs are a gigantic, devastating pain in the ass, but the weird thing is, there are some things you can reasonably control. Like, I think, what your son takes to and from his father's house. His father won't be the first person here who didn't take this seriously until it was too late. Best of luck!

  4. uglybug

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    Posted 11 years ago
    Tue Jul 29 2008 22:15:52
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    I would call the health department in the community your husband lives in. I think they may be able to help. Some do and some don't. Explain to them you have spent money on treatments, etc. Explain you are concerned your son will take them to school and start an outbreak (it sounds wrong, but whatever it takes, right?). My stepdaughter comes every other weekend and we have the same fears. Our PCO thought the same thing..that she is bringing them back and forth. We may have to do the same thing too.

  5. bugbasher

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    Posted 11 years ago
    Tue Jul 29 2008 22:37:38
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    Heartattack,
    I'm assuming you live in a detached house,not an apartment? If you do live in an apartment,infested neighbors would be my first suspicion.If you were heavily infested before finding them(it doesn't sound like it,though) it can take many months to eradicate them completely.

  6. heartattackhelpme

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    Posted 11 years ago
    Thu Jul 31 2008 2:26:57
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    Yes this is hard to think through. Right now I only let my son take one set of clothes to and from which go directly into the drier and we spray his shoes with alcohol?
    I am asking my son to bring home a bag of clothes to have inspected professionally after a the next weekend at his Fathers. Maybe that will have scent from the dogs or more....in he meantime

    I do not have the heart to seperate my son's relationship with his Father. They really enjoy eachother and this problem is something that my son is trying to work through with both of us.

    I am definitly wondering why he and she are using the cat as an excuse after owning cats of my own and after your posts and speaking to others to get there perspective.
    It does seem curious and hard to understand. They do say that the house cat tends to run out with strangers or with dogs. That she is unstable for days when hey have strangers...??????

    I agree I am going to contact the health board for several reasons. He has another area downstairs that he rents out. And to report how difficult and long and unsuccessful my situation has been and how this problem has affected us in sharing a family in two homes. Very common now.
    I do have one neighbour that I have shared this with. He claims to have no problems. I did caulk up all floor boards and light switches etc. I think he would contact me if there was a problem. However his adjoing room is to my bedroom and I do not have a problem there it is in the living room and my son's room now. But it could spread....
    I do not have much faith in treatment by chemicals or heat right now. I think persistent ziplocs and cleaning are the only thing that is keeping them down.
    I am constantly steaming my chairs too and vacuuming. I am having rugs and chairs steamed professionally with cleaning chemicals for a brief brake after 8 months.Then I will reapply bb chemicals in specific areas with DE. the baked heat didn't work out well but that was an unusual case apparently. I wouldn't mind just having my two chairs redone but not the whole house. It does cause a big hassle and some damage. I hope it would be helful for others but it wasn't for me.

    Hopefully this will be gone. I would love to hear other success stories and more advice if you are up to giving it..


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