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DENIAL - What's up with That?

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  1. DeedleBeetle

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Wed May 26 2010 5:57:09
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    Hi All...

    What's up with the fact that my mother keeps insisting that i could not possibly have bed bugs and that it MUST be something else. I get the impression that if i told my mother that i saw evidence that i had a family of rats or racoons or snakes in my place that she would readily accept that. What is it about bed bug infestation that can make a normally brave enough to face any challenge and emotionally strong and supportive mom turn all weak and go into denial mode?

    Why was my husband's reaction practically the same?

    deedle

  2. fantastapotamus

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Wed May 26 2010 8:24:41
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    I think a lot of it has to do with the stigma attached to having bedbugs.

    "oh, those are a dirty homeless shelter problem, it can't be in my child's house."

    without apparent visible evidence it is difficult to convince people, and these damn things are so good at hiding it may take a while to catch one or find something you can take and show them. I've often wished for a mouse infestation instead of bedbugs simply because the evidence is much more apparent, and the steps to rid yourself of mice are time proven and effective (and way way waaaay cheaper). you can figure out how they got in, plug that hole and set traps to take care of your unwanted house guests. how do you seal a home against invaders that fit through cracks the size of a credit card?

    also, I can't believe how many people just don't know what they are or how @#$# resilient they are.

    "bedbugs? what are those?" "you mean that bedtime rhyme is real?" "oh, how long can they live without food / in the heat of a parked car / in the cold.. a few days / weeks?"

    I'm supposed to be going on a road trip with 8 friends this coming weekend and I'm doing everything in my power to back out because my problem is still here ( I thought it would be gone by now and I'd be clear in my conscience to go, but I'm not so I can't take the risk), and their responses have all been positive and supportive, but they still don't get it.

    "I'll take the risk, I'm moving to Scotland in a few weeks and I doubt they can survive over there"

    seriously? <facepalm>

    there has definitely been a tone of "you're being paranoid, just let it go and come have fun" to their comments, they are just not coming out and saying it.

  3. Jacksfullofaces

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Wed May 26 2010 11:01:11
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    I think a lot of it has to do with the stigma attached to having bedbugs.

    "oh, those are a dirty homeless shelter problem, it can't be in my child's house."

    I had to smile. When I was 16 I was homesless and lived on the street but no bed bugs. Now we have just paid off mortgage and yes we have bed bugs. They are no respector of income thats for certain.
    Jacks

  4. biteybitey

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Wed May 26 2010 11:11:47
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    I know exactly how that is, my husband is in complete deniel over these things. I can't find any bugs to show him and until I can I'm pretty much dealing with this on my own
    Even though you take as many steps as you can, it doesn't help when someone who's supposed to be supportive just thinks you're paranoid or crazy.
    I showed him all the bites on the children and on myself and he even had welts all over his arm and neck. Nothing. He doesn't react and so thought he might have a food allergy or something.....wouldn't that be nice? But no, the rest of us itch and I now have to try and treat this on my own.
    If only this were some other infestation, I too wish this was something like roaches or mice....OMG, just give me mice anyday!
    My family are coming to see us soon and I'm going to have to warn them about the situation, even though I'm positive they'll just say "Oh bedbugs? ahhh, it'll be fine." it won't be.
    How do you live with that? How would you try and prevent something that the majority is either oblivious to or very uneducated about? I say spread word, tell everyone you have them. Tell them until they get so sick of of you yammering on about that they will have to at least acknowledge the horror of it. (Ok, maybe nagging isn't the way to go)
    Bedbugs aren't getting enough coverage, it's out there on the east coast more so than on the west. I can see the stigma is attached somehow, what I don't understand is why? I mean they suck blood not eat garbage! How is that a stigma? I'm probably answering my own question here,but does it look like we'd be passing on something like ' house herpes' ?

    I so wish I could capture one of these bastards and just wave it around my husbands face and say "AHA! SEE?? SEE??" But then again, he's the most stubborn person I've ever met in my entire life and I already know what he's say...... "Ok, great so why don't you just vacuum more?"
    Just thinking about it makes me what to lose it.....

  5. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Wed May 26 2010 11:26:36
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    It's easy to deny something which is hard to detect.

    It's also a relatively new problem -- in the sense that where you live, it is probably true that very, very few people had them for fifty years. It was almost unheard of.

    For people who haven't seen news stories reporting the return of the bed bug, or who associate them (incorrectly) with flophouses, flea-bag motels, and a lack of hygiene, it may seem more than improbable.

    So I am not excusing denial, but I can understand where people are coming from.

    I started and run the site but am "not an expert."
  6. NoNukesCeptOnBBs

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Sun May 30 2010 21:51:04
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    OMG, do I ever hear you! I have been dealing with bed bugs for about 5 months now. The guy in the room next to me started the infestation. Once I discovered what they were, he said "ewww" and that was all he did. The guy was getting bites on a regular basis and complaining about them, but he was too lazy to do anything but a half-assed bag-and-clean *rolling eyes*

    The homeowner has just recently avowed to get something done about them (after showing them dead bugs I had killed and educating them on their life cycles and stuff, heh heh). They never had a bite...their famous line is "Well, I've never seen one in my room, so...." ARRRRGH! Makes you want to tear your hair out!!!

    About the new information about bed bugs that Nobugsonme mentioned, the way I see it is this: the internet is a great and wonderful tool that can get you any information you could ever want. And, it's more or less free. Why wouldn't you yourself or a friend go online and educate yourself? I mean, is it really less stressful to be covered in itching bites and pretending nothing's happening? Seriously? I don't get it!

  7. buggedout16

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Mon May 31 2010 6:15:07
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    Denial- As mentioned above, there is the persistent myth that bedbugs only live in dirty hotels or flophouses or whatever but "Not in MY clean beautiful home!!" Also, I think it's because no one wants to face that they have a problem with tiny bugs that suck your blood at night and are very difficult and usually expensive to eradicate, and seriously difficult to find. And the fact that it's very difficult to know when or if you have succeeded in getting rid of them. And that the sanctuary of your home has been invaded by something you can barely see- a very helpless feeling.

    At the mere thought of the sheer volume of the work to be done and the possibility of limited success, denial is a defense mechanism. (Not saying it's a good idea, at all... it's just a natural human reaction.)

  8. HuntforBedBugBinLaden

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Wed Jun 30 2010 9:59:33
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    I would rather have an infestation of drunk raccoons than an infestation of bed bugs. Drunk raccoons are a blast in comparision.

  9. Sylvie

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Wed Jun 30 2010 16:00:31
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    Boy can I ever relate to this thread!!!

    My boyfriend, who doesn't technically live with me but spends most nights here, has been in denial. Even though we figured out there were BBs in my place when he woke up while one was feeding on him! Frankly, I think the bugs came from him and his brother's place to begin with!! They withheld that their building had bugs and that they had seen them (and deny ever saying that now). They don't follow protocol at all and have self-treated. They didn't listen when I told them to do their laundry and clean the pounds of haphazardly applied DE off the floor. They blamed ME and my dog for giving them the bugs (apparently they believe BBs can travel back in time as they saw them way before I did). They're in a new place now and haven't seen any but I still don't get my boyfriend to cooperate much. AHHHH!!!!

    My parents are a little cooler about it but it drives me nuts when they say "We know honey, we had mice/ants/ladybugs before" or "Sounds like it's almost as bad as lice." Are you kidding me?? I'd rather have any of those! Not that I have experience with any of them, but I can't imagine they are as bad. Also I just love hearing "At least you don't have gophers." WHAT? Those things are adorable! Lol. And outside. The only thing I'd prefer BB to is a plague of spiders, but even then I'm sure that would be easy to get rid of.

    I guess most people just don't get it, huh?

    Drunk raccoons? Sounds like a blast to me- lol!

  10. Louise

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Wed Jun 30 2010 16:38:38
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    Sylvie - 35 minutes ago  » 
    Also I just love hearing "At least you don't have gophers." WHAT? Those things are adorable! Lol. And outside. !

    Yep. Gophers *are* cute.

    And easy to spot to boot.

    Sylvie - 35 minutes ago  » 
    I guess most people just don't get it, huh?!

    Nope. Most people definitely do *not* get it.

    Sylvie - 35 minutes ago  » 
    Drunk raccoons? Sounds like a blast to me- lol!

    Almost as great as the cute gophers...

    Louise

  11. bushbugg

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Wed Jun 30 2010 23:17:08
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    My land lord, after asking her to spray a second time two weeks after the first treatment:
    "you only found one bug!"
    after seeing my bites a third time
    "do you have sensative skin?"
    My landlord's plan to keep the bugs isolated by not renting a second floor apartment. Then when I complain, she tells me I can move into that one.
    "its just been refinished!!!"

    My super, after all my complaining,
    "the LL has to pay the guy EVERY TIME the PCO comes!"

    edit:
    Me, after seeing the first one:
    "If I keep the windows open (in march, when it was cold) that will probably keep them inactive enough to not bite"
    "I dont have time to move all my stuff to the center of the room/ bag ALL my stuff, itll probably be ok"

    HAHA

  12. DeedleBeetle

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Thu Jul 1 2010 7:26:31
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    you guys just have to stop getting those raccoons and gophers drunk...

    ugh...i'm thinking about a drunk bedbug....i wonder if they would get giggly or whether they would want to fight you after draping their little bug arm around you saying "you're my bestest friend"

  13. HuntforBedBugBinLaden

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Thu Jul 1 2010 15:38:37
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    Ha Ha! Maybe I should get completely plastered before I go to bed and then see if I have a bunch of drunken bedbugs laying about the place in the morning.... (With their hairy little legs crossed over their antenna...)

    I bet stoners have stoner bed bugs....

    Bed bugs on a bad bender-- Bed bug 1: dude- this bed is totally technicolor, man, WOOHHH check it out! Bed bug 2: dude, this chick's blood is purple-- What am I drinking dude? It's freakin' me out! Bed bug 1: MAN!, Let's go drink the dog dude-- this is some bad stuff man... Bed bug 2: We are drinking the dog Dude-- Bed bug 1: Dude........ lets go swimming in the bong again.....

  14. mcsmcs

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Thu Jul 1 2010 16:19:35
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    LOL!! Hunt, that's hysterical (and your screen name makes me laugh, too). Thank you for that. Maybe drunk BBs would be easier to kill? There's a science experiment waiting to happen....what does the BAC of someone need to be before it intoxicates pests that feed on blood?

  15. parakeets

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Thu Jul 1 2010 16:28:52
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    Some of the denial comes from a decided "spin" that the media puts on it.

    1) That bedbugs are "not a health problem and are not known to spread disease" (Read my recent post here about a MEDSCAPE posting that lists a long paragraph of the medical problems connected with bedbugs)

    2) That bedbugs can be "treated"? Please, how "treated" when your landlord is the party paying for the treament? How "treated" when bedbugs have developed a resistance to the pesticides? How "treated" when there is no building-wide education or disclosure?

    3) That bedbug bites can be treated with topical creams (and what makes the welts go away? The itching? The swelling?)

    ...Plus the inevitable spin that associates bedbugs only with disenfranchised groups like the poor, people living in subsidized housing, etc. I think the media wants this spin to protect groups (their adverizers--especially hotels, colleges, hospitals, restaurants, etc.) that would lose a lot of money if more was published about the previalence of bedbugs. And people who have bedbugs rarely admit it or talk about it.

    So a lot of people are in denial because no one is telling them the truth about bedbugs.

  16. HuntforBedBugBinLaden

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Thu Jul 1 2010 16:34:58
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    I will work on getting this data MC...

  17. bugnut

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Thu Jul 1 2010 16:42:33
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    DITTO!

    I must say this was a pretty amusing post - drunken mammals and all! Hubby also was in denial until he got bitten! I would not dream of telling my family - they would shun me forever! Oh, they would be nice and all, but never want to come here again or go over to "Infest" their homes. If they only saw the steps I take cleaning, dressing and getting ready to go out!

    How about drunken snakes?

  18. mcsmcs

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Thu Jul 1 2010 18:56:08
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    HuntforBedBugBinLaden - 2 hours ago  » 
    I will work on getting this data MC...

    Thanks, HuntforBB..... On second thought, what we really need to know is what does the BAC of the person need to be in order to send the pest into alcohol poisoning....

  19. cilecto

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    Posted 9 years ago
    Thu Jul 1 2010 22:07:36
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    > 2) That bedbugs can be "treated"? Please, how "treated" when your landlord is the party paying for the treament? How "treated" when bedbugs have developed a resistance to the pesticides? How "treated" when there is no building-wide education or disclosure?

    You're the treat.

    Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night...
    - Psalms 91:5-7

    (Not an pro)

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