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Boyfriend gave me bedbugs.

(5 posts)
  1. laurae

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Fri Feb 12 2010 16:30:29
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    Hi all. I'll just cut straight to my situation. My boyfriend's sketchy apartment got bedbugs, probably a long time ago, but most of the tenants didn't notice. My boyfriend didn't either, because he either doesn't get bitten or he just doesn't feel or show it. They only found out when a new girl moved in and made a fuss about it. I started getting bites at my place around the same time, about a month ago or so, and I had an exterminator come do my room. My bf's sketchy landlord had his own guy do his apartment. We've been really careful since then about transporting stuff between our apartments, but I guess we haven't done enough. A little over a week after my room was treated I started getting bites again. Last week I had to stay at his place one night and I got bit there too, so he definitely still has them. My infestation is very small and manageable, according to my exterminator. But I suspect my bf's is large and unmanageable and all over that decrepit bug's paradise some would kindly call an apartment building.

    So now we have two wars ahead of us:

    1) Re-treat my place and keep new bugs OUT.
    2) Move boyfriend out of untreatable apartment to somewhere nicer without bringing his bugs with him. (My other thought is if he does bring the bugs to a new place, at least it would be much, much easier to treat there.)

    The hardest part is that I am not him, if you know what I mean. I love him but he isn't going to be as vigilant and careful as I would be. It would suck to have to end a lovely 2-year relationship over bed bugs but it crosses my mind

    Sorry this was so long. Any advice would be appreciated.

  2. bait

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Sat Feb 13 2010 2:20:38
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    It certainly would suck to break up over this.

    You have a real mess on your hands and the two of you need each other. There is a lot of work to be done and it costs money. It's too bad the two of you couldn't move in together and fight the bugs as a team (don't blame me if it doesn't work out).

    Seriously though, treat with heat whenever you can (clothes dryer, oven, PackTite, steam machine).

    Try to isolate your bed, although that is very difficult to do. In a heavy infestation, the ClimbUps are good enough to catch bugs that are en-route to feeding on you. Every one you stop in its tracks is one that won't reproduce.

    Follow the protocols that protect your friends, family and co-workers.

    That's my advice. Others will surely have something to add. Good luck.

    Bait

  3. yearlongfeast

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Apr 15 2010 13:51:35
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    Hi Laurae,

    First of all, I'm really really sorry you have these. These things really change you, and not a lot of peope realize that until they have them. It's quite the stressful situation.

    Your situation was actually a little similar to mine. I also got them from my past boyfriend, (his ex roomie gave them as a great housewarming gift from his past residence), and unfortunately, this bug problem precipitated him breaking up with me after two years of being together. There were other factors involved, but the stress from this is pretty overwhelming at times. So make sure that he's in it for the long haul-because doing this all by yourself is probably one of the most stressful things a girl can go through. BE VERY CAREFUL you don't bring things back with you-I wound up bringing them back to my parents house and it's cost me over 3,000 to get these bugs out-and I still have them after 10 months.

    My ex wound up moving to a nicer apartment too. But he also brought his bed with them, along with the bugs. We didn't get bit until a month or two later, and by this time, my stuff had already been in his room. So please be very careful. I would put everything you wear in to plastic bags when you enter his place (or when he enters yours) and then only wear his clothes around the apt, unless you plan on taking a trip to the laundromat every time you visit. He actually didn't want me to stay at his place much of time cause of the bugs, and although that causes a lot of tension and stress in the relationship, you'll need to restrict the amount of time you spend there, just for your own sake.

    Let me know if I can give you more advice. Find a top rate exterminator and make sure he does everything possible too. It is a team effort and much harder to do by yourself.

  4. cilecto

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Thu Apr 15 2010 23:52:41
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    If you're not for each other, why complicate things by having to interact with him, his stuff or his place? Take care of yourself. There'll be time for new love when you get this under control.

    Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night...
    - Psalms 91:5-7

    (Not an pro)
  5. onelostdream

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    Posted 8 years ago
    Wed Apr 21 2010 13:27:50
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    It's always the boyfriends fault! ^_^

    I'm in a similar situation. I really feel your pain. And I even had my bestest guy friend try to convince me to break up with the boyfriend over this if only to protect me from getting bitten. My response to him was that I've already been exposed so breaking up won't make a difference either way. I'll still have the bugs in my house (fingers crossed that I don't...I just did another check today) and I'll be single which would make dealing with these little monsters even less fun.

    I recommend putting your foot down and insisting that either you go through his things until you're satisfied or insist that he does it. I don't know what your temperament (or his) is like or if that would work, but it's something you need to do just for peace of mind. Actually, my boyfriend and I spent a day steaming his apartment. It was a long day and my back and feet were tired by the end of it, but it was actually kind of fun working with him on it and it made me feel a million times better.

    Whatever you decide to do, make sure you put lots of thought into it. My fingers are crossed for you and for him.

    Good luck!!!


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