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BedBugs make me suicidal and i cried today because i'm feeling hopeless.

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  1. xaywulf

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Sun Jun 18 2017 0:23:24
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    Hello,
    I'm a 19 years old student and i have lived with my grandma for almost 15 years, been in our current appartment for somewhat 10 years. Never had a single bedbug in my house until 2 weeks ago, well first signs appeared two weeks ago when i had no choice but sleep without sheets (which i'd be able to do without any trouble before...) and i was laying on my stomach as i was watching stuff on my phone to fall asleep... all of a sudden i was feeling very itchy and started scratching my tummy but it didn't bother me much, i fell asleep and when i woke up i had 19 bites on my tummy, and like 2 on my back. I was confused and thought about many theories like allergy, mosquitos and stuff... Still wasn't thinking of bed bugs, to be honest i didn't even know they were a thing until my uncle mentions them and says they might be the issue, so i did my research and to me it was clear i had bed bugs in my room and when i found out how HARD it was to get rid of them i freaked out.

    But still i wasn't sure because i hadn't seen any bedbugs in my room i inspected my bed 0 bed bugs, i only found a little baby crawling on my boxspring but it was very very small i inspected every single crevice so i doubt they're on my bed. I've seen one crawling on my wall in front of me as i was on my computer, i found one in my wardrobe and it was dead for some reason, i two babies on my wall and then i kept looking, NOTHING, i absolutely can't find any more of these bugs after cleaning my room, vaccuming and applying DE all over my room, the thing is i am still getting bitten. I spend alot of time on my computer chair and i usually get bitten from there but i can't see anything i'm constantly checking if there are bed bugs because i have become paranoid, i can finally sleep in peace and i don't get bitten thanks DE (unless the bites show up several hours later). Important thing to mention, i applied DE like 3 days ago i think, or maybe 4 and i can still notice a very few new bites even with DE all over the place so i assume my bed isn't the problem anymore, but what should i do? I'm very very very poor my grandma is poor and we cannot afford treatment it feels like i'm stuck here, even all these products everyone is suggesting to clean the house and treat it i can't afford.
    We can barely afford laundry and DE, i just ordered cimexa but i doubt it's gonna do all the job so i wonder what to do because the only escape to me seems to be death i really want to die and let these fuckers suck my blood all they won't, i'm already quite depressed and my life is shit so this is the icing on cake. Also please don't suggest me shitty therapists, i've been there it doesn't work and i refuse mental help i think it's quite obvious that at this point i want to kill myself, many people in my situation would be thinking about the same thing, we can't even afford laundry for all the clothes and to think there might be a bed bug hiding out of all the clothes we have makes me sick i'm 19 my life is supposed to start now and i should be busy with other stuff rather than chasing bugs that are the size of a grain of sand... Hope you can understand how terrible i am feeling.

    My grandma is sleeping in another room and she wasn't bitten ONCE so i guess the infestation is small, also yesterday i was at the gym and i got bitten on my butt, i thought these little motherfuckers didn't like staying on our bodies much? I don't understand.. I am lost and idk what to do it's really irritating me i'm constantly browsing stuff about BedBugs i'm constantly thinking about it it's pestering me. I am disgusted and my grandma is too old to help much i don't want her to be worried as much as i am and i don't want her to start feeling anxious like i am so i'm thinking about moving to another place for a few days maybe even months. I'll be washing and drying all the stuff i'm taking with me including my bag and put it in a garbage bag to make sure it's safe, i'll take a shower and put on my fresh clothes before leaving. I'm not expecting much help on here since there isn't many way to kill bedbugs besides a $1000 treatment..

  2. Nobugsonme

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    Posted 2 years ago
    Sun Jun 18 2017 23:11:48
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    xaywulf,

    I am sorry you're having a hard time but I need to let you know that I am closing this thread. The site has a formal policy of closing threads where people talk about suicide. (The reasons for this are explained in the forum rules: http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/forum-rules-please-read .)

    Per the thread entitled "If you are feeling suicidal or anxious": http://bedbugger.com/forum/topic/if-you-are-feeling-suicidal-or-anxious-1

    Nobugsonme - 6 years ago  » 
    Sometimes people tell us they are feeling suicidal because of bed bugs. We are not equipped or trained to offer counseling here.

    If you are feeling suicidal or thinking of harming yourself, now or in the future, please tell a professional and get help immediately.
    Call your doctor (or therapist, if you have one).
    Or go to an emergency room.
    Please do not ignore it or try to deal with it on your own.

    You can also call a hotline. In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. Anyone (worldwide) can email or phone the Samaritans. They have branches in various countries and are highly regarded and can help you by giving you a space to talk. They can also help direct you to local resources.
    Suicide: Read this First may also help.

    In addition to depression and suicidal feelings, a number of people have suffered from anxiety due to bed bugs. In this case also, please seek a professional counselor's input. We have heard from a number of Bedbuggers that speaking to a professional can really help. If you are on a limited budget, your doctor should be able to help direct you to resources with no fee or a sliding scale.

    We understand the stress and hardship this problem can cause, but if you have bed bugs, you can get through it and you will enjoy life again.

    I understand from your post that you don't want this type of advice but I hope you will reconsider.

    You are welcome to post in other threads now or in the future to seek input on your bed bug situation. I have responded to your other existing thread also.

    I started and run the site but am "not an expert."

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