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Bedbugs in Love: Long-Term Relationship and Bedbugs

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  1. anthro-pod

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Aug 21 2013 14:14:48
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    Hi, everyone! I hoped that I'd never have to create a post here, but alas, here I am.

    I recently had a bedbug scare involving a friend who thought they might have brought them to my apartment in Carroll Gardens, BK. After consulting an etymologist, it turns out that they indeed do not have bedbugs, but a canine inspection and bites have told me that I have a very minor infestation that is limited to my bed/bedding and a chair in my bedroom. I'm aware of the limits of canine inspections, but my father (who I share the apartment with) and I have decided to proceed with a chemical treatment through Standard Pest Management; if there's an issue, I'd rather deal with it now as opposed to when I return to graduate school in a little less than a month. Studies and no sleep sounds really disastrous.

    Anyway, my long-term boyfriend has also noticed some suspicious bites and possible faecal matter (he, indeed, could be the source of the problem, but our luv is above bugs [at least until we're totally sleep-deprived] so I'm glad we're dealing with this together in decent enough spirits), so he's having a canine and visual inspection done tonight. My question is: in the case that one of us has the bugs and the other doesn't, how do we proceed with caution while not totally physically alienating ourselves? I've been told by Standard that I should remain in my own bed to, um, let them feast away, but is he allowed to come sleep over if we take the utmost precautions, including isolating fresh and dirty clothing, showering, and not carrying bags that are not completely sealed in heavy-duty Ziplocs? He's being a total white knight, claiming that he doesn't mind being bitten just as long as he can shower, change into laundered clothing, and wash his possibly-infested-from-my-house stuff immediately.

    I've read the "travel" section thoroughly and plan to arrive with freshly laundered clothing/bag everything/etc to avoid carrying them over, but has anyone dealt with something similar before? I also think I know how to have him here without letting him take them back to his place, which involves separate "bedbug time" clothing that does not leave my house and gets laundered immediately after he leaves. Conversely, if we both have them, should we continue to each act as if the other does not have the bugs, keeping everything isolated and washed to ensure we don't mate our bugs when we're uh, mating (sorry, I really couldn't resist)? How do we proceed as each of us are getting our respective treatments?

    Having bedbugs among two people who are dating but do not share a home is starting to feel a bit like an STI. Stay strong, bedbuggers! I'm here in total solidarity.

  2. bed-bugscouk

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Aug 21 2013 14:41:56
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    Hi,

    Not that uncommon a situation.

    You are correct that the FAQ on how not to transfer bedbugs to others is where you need to start. You may want to invest in BugZip enclosures so that when you spend time together you reduce the risk of your luggage picking up an issue.

    Yes it does mean that your relationship must develop a level of protocol and discipline but it will be something you go through together in the same way at both end.

    Now if you feel that they are not going to follow the discipline they they better either one one hell of a catch or its time to go fishing again.

    Hopefully this will help you see the lighter side of it all but I once spent 20 minutes explaining to a lady on the phone that she was correct in assuming her "no job, no prospects, lazy excuse of a partner" (her words not mine) was in fact the source of her bedbugs (we inspected both properties with the same technician) and that he had in fact been living with the problem for some time. I had to get a little blunt in explaining to her that unless "he was the perfect genetic stock and that they were planning to repopulate a barren earth" then it was most likley time for a new relationship once she had focused on dealing with the "baggage" left over from the previous one.

    We also had plans on starting a dating site for those in bed bug love but it seemed all of the action was being directed towards the Pro's from those looking for a little extra help and technical advice.

    Sounds like you have your head screwed on and will take the positive from the experience which really helps a lot.

    Take care.

    David Cain
    Bed Bugs Limited

    I am happy to answer questions in public but will not reply to message sent directly or via my company / social media. I am here to help everyone and not just one case at a time.

    In accordance with the AUP and FTC I openly disclose my vested interest in Passive Monitors as the inventor and patent holder. Since 2009 they have become an integral part in how we resolve bed bug infestations. I also have a professional relationship with PackTite in that they distribute my product under their own branding. I do not however receive any financial remuneration for any comments I make about pro
  3. anthro-pod

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Wed Aug 21 2013 17:34:28
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    David:

    Thanks so much for your reply. We breathed a huge sigh of relief when the canine inspection provided a negative (knock on wood) and are taking all precautions from here. Having been slightly obsessive about bedbugs for about a year now, I feel like I'm more prepared to tackle this than most. Hopefully that's the light at the end of my obsessive-compulsive tunnel.

  4. theyareoutthere

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Thu Aug 22 2013 18:19:14
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    Good luck at killing the bugs and keeping the luv

    They
    Are
    Out
    There
    = TAOT
  5. anthro-pod

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Thu Aug 22 2013 19:32:37
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    Thanks for the well wishes, theyreoutthere! Hopefully the fact that he immediately called a PCO the second he suspected anything is a good sign (another, adorably, is that the only items he was truly concerned about was his extensive book collection; everything else could be discarded, steamed to a pulp, etc as long as the sanctity of his library was concerned. A catch!)

  6. bugs in brooklyn

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    Posted 6 years ago
    Thu Aug 29 2013 19:04:21
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    I dealt with a similar situation- I had bed bugs, he didn't.

    Our strategy was that he just brought a set of clothes over to my house to leave with me. When he came over, he would immediately change into his "bug clothes" and put his normal clothes and any other items into a bag. When he went home, he'd change back. Can't say I washed them every time haha, but they were already "contaminated" just by being at my place and they weren't leaving the house so I didn't think it really mattered.

    I'd say it's probably a good idea to do that even if you both might have them.

    And to make you feel better, the bugs are long gone, I never gave them to him and we are still together!

    (To be honest, I'm back here on this forum after a long time away because I had some bites yesterday and freaked out a bit, but I've torn my place apart and haven't found anything so they might be mosquito bites).


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