Bed Bug Helloise goes high-tech!

by nobugsonme on August 3, 2007 · 12 comments

in bed bugs, consumers, tools and weapons

Bed bug Helloise is back with a quickie helpful hint:

Do you have bed bugs? Are you thinking of replacing that computer keyboard that may harbor bed bugs, cast shells, or feces?

Consider the Unotron Spillseal keyboards and mice. They’re completely sealed except for the USB plug, so you can wash them in the sink with soapy water! And they come in wired and wireless versions. Sadly, they do not appear to support Mac computers at this time. That’s a shame. Mac keyboards are lint traps.

You can google “Unotron Spillseal” to find retailers.

They’re made for doctors and others whose keyboards give them the heebie-jeebies. I know you Bedbuggers with active infestations know what I mean! (Before anyone comments to tell me that bed bugs do not want to live in my electronic devices, I hear you. But sometimes, we’ve heard, they do.)

Bed Bug Helloise has found all kinds of nasties in her keyboard, from pet hair to questionable “dirt,” so she thinks this is a good idea anyway. And she does not need to tell you that she does not have any stake in the Unotron corportation. If she did, they’d be making Mac keyboards too. Bed Bug Helloise is a housekeeping whiz, but she doesn’t do Windows.

1 hopelessnomo August 3, 2007 at 10:58 am

Bed Bug Helloise! My kind of girl!

Where has she been all this time, taking the waters in some rustic paradise?

2 Winston O. Buggy August 3, 2007 at 4:33 pm

“(Before anyone comments to tell me that bed bugs do not want to live in my electronic devices, I hear you. But sometimes, we’ve heard, they do.)”

They definitely do de do do!
Not to mention draws of unmentionables.
They put the crack in crack and the back in back
and yes folks you are their favorite snack.

It’s been a long week.

3 nobugsonme August 3, 2007 at 7:30 pm

I don’t think our Winston ever fully recovered from my post about lingerie. 😉

Winston, your fans clamour evermore for more of your posts. I hope you’ll tell us about your latest bed bug sightings, albeit without breaching confidentiality or anonymity.

Nomo, Bed Bug Helloise Responds:

Hopelessnomo, thank you for enquiring about my whereabouts. I have not been on vacation, and am instead always in search of the best ways to furnish a bed bug-free home. I am also thinking of starting a movement to help raise awareness amongst my peers in nursing homes and assisted living facilities about the dangers of bed bugs.

However, I am from the older generation and not very keen on your internets. Nobugsonme helps me sometimes to log on and surf out, but I have trouble sitting at the computer for long periods of time, and I have a lot of Mah Jongg parties to go to.

If you find products you feel would help make it easier to live without bed bugs, please send them on to me, Bed Bug Helloise, care of: nobugs at bedbugger dot com!

4 hopelessnomo August 3, 2007 at 8:00 pm

Nobugs, please tell Helloise I said to take care! I hear the dating scene in those places is craazy!

5 nobugsonme August 3, 2007 at 10:22 pm

Bed bug Helloise replies:

Oh thank you dear Hopelessnomo, we do know about that.

Bed Bug Helloise is clinging to her Bed Bug
‘Elmer, since it’s 12 gals for every fellow around these parts.

We know you forgot about him because Bed Bug Helloise uses the royal “We” a lot, and it’s easy to forget she is spoken for.

Luckily Bed Bug ‘Elmer isn’t up to much these days.

He misses Dick Clark’s show with all the dancing teenagers, but he prefers his romance mediated by those cathode ray TV tubes.

Otherwise, I know he’d be bound to cause a riot. The clever gals in his high school added the apostrophe to his name for good reason. He was a ‘ell raiser, all right! Those were the days.

6 hopelessnomo August 3, 2007 at 11:44 pm


I can see it, ‘Elmer with a jelly roll hairstyle and a convertible? (Or do I have the wrong decade?) Don’t let him out of sight, Helloise!

7 nobugsonme August 4, 2007 at 12:29 am

Why am I visualizing this guy?

big boy

8 hopelessnomo August 4, 2007 at 12:58 am

Whoa, Daddy-O!

Hahaaaaa!! Nobugs, you are one of a kind! The shiny, sparkly kind.

9 nobugsonme August 4, 2007 at 2:34 am

Right back at you, Nomo!

10 willow-the-wisp August 4, 2007 at 4:21 am

“Big Boy” with blue eyes and he brings his own dinner–what else could you ever want? Little mess, cost and low low maintenence. Does he have any brothers?

11 willow-the-wisp August 4, 2007 at 4:25 am

I meant bed bugs? Does he have any bed bugs?

12 nobugsonme August 4, 2007 at 2:19 pm

I only hope his restauranteurs are fully apprised of the bed bug scourge and working to avoid it.

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