The Bed Bug of the Future

by bugzinthehood on December 14, 2006 · 3 comments

in bed bug treatment, bed bugs, humor

A post on our friend Brent Herbert’s site. Brent has some good ideas about constructing a tent-like barrier to afford sleep safety. But his philosophy about kick-starting a new bed bug evolution… Well, I predict by the year 3,000,000 A.D., he might be right.

I also feel a moral responsibility to the bed bug species, and my strategy here would be to force those bed bugs to adapt not by faking their own extinction but rather by not being bed bugs anymore but rather by adapting by becoming a different type of bug. The choice they face is either extinction or further adaptation, and since being a bed bug is not going to work out for them, and since bed bugs are amazing creatures who refuse to go extinct and are constantly adapting I am confident that when put under enough pressure bed bugs can adapt by not being bed bugs anymore. For example, they could become ‘garbage bugs’ and make their living by sneaking into everyone’s garbage can in the dead of net. I would even leave the lid open on the garbage can for them, or better yet, I would leave a small dent in the lid so the bed bug can be real sneaky and slip through that dent and eat my garbage, and feel like it pulled off a sneak attack. Bed bugs can even be really stubborn about that new strategy by being garbage bugs that no one can get rid of no matter how many times they spray the place, thus being worse than cockroaches, which can still be exterminated, and that will be fine. Or better yet, bed bugs can eat garbage or perhaps flakes of skin, while still retaining their ability to suck blood, so that if someone tries to get rid of them by buying a tightly sealed garbage can the bed bug can then start sucking their blood instead.

1 nobugsonme December 14, 2006 at 2:55 pm

When I realized I was going to write a diatribe, I decided to start a new post…

As I commented on the Melbourne Indymedia site, I don’t think his velcro door will keep out first instar bedbug nymphs, which are 1 mm long and paper-thin.

Also, there is already an existing product which is a tent claiming to keep out bed bugs of all sizes:

I have not tested it, but Lou Sorkin confirmed the netting was small enough to keep out nymphs. We can’t verify whether the zippered door is protected (as they claim)in such a way that will work. I’d love to try out a Long Road Travel Tent.

Regarding the other issues of bed bugs evolving… and Brent Herbert’s theories in general, see next post above.

2 deb December 15, 2006 at 8:59 pm

he’s losing too much blood to bed bugs…and hallucinating !!!

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