Got Bed Bugs? Bedbugger Forums » Reader questions (do not fit into other categories)
visiting friend not paranoid enough?
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vacationer
newbite
Joined: Jul '07
Posts: 11
Posted 1 year ago
Fri May 23 2008 0:57:14
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A good friend works for a company that sends him out of town every other week.
I have told him about the danger of bedbugs, and suggested that he check the motel rooms he stays in. But I am almost certain he is not doing this. I've told him I'm worried; he says not to worry, on the grounds that it's unlikely.Should I let this friend visit my house or ride in my car (and vice versa)? If I refuse, it's gonna cause friction. How paranoid is too paranoid?
thanks,
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fightorflight
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Joined: Jan '08
Posts: 694
Posted 1 year ago
Fri May 23 2008 3:29:11
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> I have told him about the danger of bedbugs, and suggested that he check the motel rooms he stays in. But I am almost certain he is not doing this. I've told him I'm worried; he says not to worry, on the grounds that it's unlikely.
If it were so unlikely, the hotel industry would not have plied Congress with its lobbying clout to propose the Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite Act of 2008. Many unfortunate folks on this and travel websites can attest to the fact that it is sadly likely. Bedbug awareness and precautions are a fact of travel now. Those determined to ignore this, like your friend, will only help make the problem grow worse. That said, most of the people I know who travel often on business have ignored my warnings, too. Thinking out loud here, I wish there was a way that hotels themselves could try to educate travelers and encourage precautions. Maybe by having folks sign an indemnity waiver on check in and then handing them a pamphlet on how to inspect the room?
As for your real question,
> Should I let this friend visit my house or ride in my car (and vice versa)? If I refuse, it's gonna cause friction. How paranoid is too paranoid?sorry, but this is too tough for me to attempt. Maybe some others here will weigh in with the thought that it's too paranoid. I'm leaning in that direction.
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Blue_Ox
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Joined: May '07
Posts: 144
Posted 1 year ago
Fri May 23 2008 5:37:35
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The people I have discussed this with have also by and large ignored my warnings, with one exception, though even he gets lazy about inspecting hotel rooms when he's staying in a super high-quality hotel. There is something about nice luxurious hotel rooms that make people think bedbugs could not dwell there.
I have also mentioned this several times to members of my family (who don't live with me). A few of them have college-age children, which I feel is a huge risk. But as far as I know they have not brought up the subject with their kids. And my parents who are frankly getting elderly still travel frequently on cruises and they have also ignored my warnings. And lastly, one of my good friends is a flight attendant and not only is she not concerned, she also has been on a buying blitz via ebay buying all sorts of second-hand things.
I know I can't possibly cut all these people off from visiting me or riding in my car. Plus what if they cut me off, for the mere fact that I live in NYC?
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prayforamiracle
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Joined: Apr '08
Posts: 244
Posted 1 year ago
Fri May 23 2008 9:49:05
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It is trying. My family also, kids going off to college, family members traveling aboard.
My mother says, don't tell them, they live such a cush life and it will onlyt cause friction.The can be abit of snob.
I have freinds that want to visit me in New york and I don't want then to come and re-infest my new place. If by the grace of God i get out of here with none. I will wash my clothes as soon as i get home and i have gotten rid of everything and starting over. Don't want to buy new stuff either.
I will be affraid for friends to come over.
I WOKE UP SO ANGRY this MOrning. I AM SO SICK of this. Being Paronid of everything in New York.
My whole life has been stress. I fianally get on my feet and living the rewards of my hard work and now, I am in HIgh stress. This sucks so much. People are rude, don't want to educate themselves. My landlord trying to say its in my head, If he did not pco and i done all i have theis apt would have the 40 bb that grow to 5109 in 6 months. they did not spray the hall the other apt next door.
This is ONE BIG MESS. And of course you don't want to tell you friends who want to come visit, espically in the casr that i might just have to ditch EVERYTHINg and move back home or another state, at least where they are no so infested. -
vacationer
newbite
Joined: Jul '07
Posts: 11
Posted 1 year ago
Sat May 24 2008 11:28:39
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I would feel a lot less paranoid if I knew he were really inspecting the motel rooms. That is really the first and biggest line of defense.
How can someone be persuaded to do this? There must be some way to get him interested in it. I honestly don't think he "gets" it, he just thinks I worry unnecessarily.
I don't know what to say.thanks,
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bugsonthebrain
newbite
Joined: May '08
Posts: 3
Posted 1 year ago
Sat May 24 2008 14:56:47
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not a single one of my friends takes any of my advice on anything involving bed bugs. They think it's too stressful, so they just go about their business and hope it never happens to them. I hope it never happens to them too. But I can't help but believe that eventually it will. Then I will be a shoulder to cry on.
I think you just don't "get it" until it happens to you. Then everything hits home.
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prayforamiracle
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Joined: Apr '08
Posts: 244
Posted 1 year ago
Sat May 24 2008 15:14:01
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I was very stressed on my friends wanting to come visit me in New York.
If I have went thru all this hell and I am not going to have someone not knowily to re-infest. 31 days no bites.
New apt. Having the bb dogs to inspect.
I told my friend my story and she educated herself and is being very careful and nice. Concerned.
Our plan.
First i am going to have a door matt outside the door , sprinkled in limestone.
Remove shoes in a bin that has limestone in the bottom. Wear flip flops in the house. Wear them when you shower to clean...
Suitcase,
clothes in plastic inside, wipe down the out side of that plastic with 91 % alcohol. Store the suitcase till she leaves in plastic.
Strip as soon as they get from the city in the day and wear a set of house clothes in the bath tub. Maybe I will buy robes and anyone who comes over will have to wear one. Lucky it will be summer and no need for coats and all.
Everything from the city Plastic. Till it can be sterilized, washed, steamed, alcohol, kleened.
First it sounds crazy, but it will get to be the norm and i am not ever wanting anyone to go through this. If my friends do not follow these rules, I just won't have them over. I need a safe place and it will be...I will try my darnest. -
Bugless
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Joined: Dec '07
Posts: 144
Posted 1 year ago
Sat May 24 2008 15:44:48
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Vacationer posts: " . . . suggested that he check the motel rooms he stays in."
Before paying for the room, a person should send for the manager and ask him: "Does this motel have bedbugs in any room, or has the motel ever had them?"
If he says "No", check the room they put you in. Management may not yet know about a recent bedbug infection.
If the manager says "Yes", I don't have to tell you what to do.
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vacationer
newbite
Joined: Jul '07
Posts: 11
Posted 1 year ago
Mon May 26 2008 1:32:20
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It is all so true what you say. No one can "get it" until they are facing the horror themselves. I think denial is a way of staying sane. (Not the best way, but a way.)
BUT, it should be possible to take precautions anyway, without having to keep picturing the horror. I can drive a car safely without worrying about dying in a wreck. And my friend ought to be able to inspect a motel bed without being worried about catching bugs. There is no requirement that you be stressed out - only that you inspect the bed.
So what motivation might get him off his butt to do this??
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Gypsy
junior member
Joined: May '08
Posts: 108
Posted 1 year ago
Mon May 26 2008 1:37:01
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you can't be too paranoid. I for one don't want to wind up on a therapists couch, so I'm doing what I can, what I can afford, and visit people's home (taking necessary precautions) rather than having friends here - or we meet in public. You can't worry yourself sick about this - like showering with shoes on. I think that's taking it a bit too far.
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Actually, you can't reject a hotel because they have had bed bugs at some time in some room. They infest rooms and can spread, but in most cases, entire hotels are not infested. It is more likely that individual rooms are, and these are what you are trying to avoid.
Just because a hotel has had bed bugs at some time in one room does NOT mean you will be sharing your room with bed bugs.
It is more important to learn how to search a room for bed bugs (see travel FAQs below for tips). Keep luggage unpacked and in the bathtub while you search. If you find any signs, contact management immediately and request a room without bed bugs.
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