True or False?(17 posts)
THIS IS NOT INTENDED FOR NEWBIES TO THIS FORUM...ONLY VETERANS!
I am writing this from information I got from the post "Are these bb bites, itchy question, help!" Lt. Dan said to look at http://www.whatsthatbug.com to see what bbs look like. I was looking at the site and was wondering.
There was this legal aid attorney who had a mentally ill man in her office who had bugs crawling all over him. He was really infested.
Do you think this could actually happen to people like us? I was wondering if I don't eradicate bbs if this could happen to me and my kids? This is one of my biggest fears. If I don't isolate the bed or vacuum often or caulk or have a pco come in to treat every 10-14 days for, like, the rest of my life, then the bbs will get outta hand! That one guy in one of the posts said that he's been having pcos come every 2 weeks and he still has them. Why?
True or False, guys?
I'm afraid that my b/f will keep infesting me or my son or if I go out I will bring them back and that the pco will not work? Are my fears justified or just neurotic? True or False?
I took the train today and people had their sweatshirts hanging near me and their bags near me and I'm afraid to go to the movies with my son, to eat at a restaurant, to sit in a park bench, which I did today.
I'm afraid I will have these forever and the bbs will get outta hand and I will have them all over the place.
I know that the mentally ill guy is the exception to the rule. He probably doesn't treat and the attorney said that he bathes like 2x a year and sleeps in his clothes. Can this really happen to us? I know it can happen to disabled and mentally ill which I stated in the past.
I'm just so afraid of only depending on a pco.
I don't wanna alarm newbies on this. This is only for the veterans here.
You raise a lot of scary possibilities but I think awareness will be the clue. You will not give up. You will find a way. You will learn how to deal with this problem, and it will make you stronger. The people who have ignorance about bedbugs are not in the position of strength you are. You are far less likely to do things that bring bedbugs back into a home.
Think of how small a bedbug is. The size of an apple seed. Think of how small their brains must be in that tiny body. The size of a dot? We are so much smarter. They are programmed to do two things--feed on hosts and procreate. We are so much more creative. We will outsmart them.
It is not a good analogy since I'm comparing apples and organges, but I think of how mothers must have felt in the 1940's when Polio was rampant. They'd say things similar to what you're saying: Will it ever go away? Will my children be safe? Can we go to movie theaters? We can get it from anyplace! Will we ever feel safe? ---- And then there was the miraculous Salk vaccine in the 1950's.
Polio was conquered. Bedbugs will be conquered.
keets: I understand you totally. But, I can't NOT let my boyfriend go out and do things. I can't NOT let my children go to school. When they come home I spray them with kleenfree. What really scares me is that the futon is also used as a bed and everyone is on it during the day. Do you think I should get an aerobed for sleeping and use the futon as a couch only? I was thinking of getting plastic chairs for the living room and everyone has their own chair and then the futon will only be for sleeping and/or taking naps during the day. If I do get an aerobed, should I deflate it and inflate it every day? I'm still learning. I've been making mistakes, no doubt, not intentionally though.
To be honest, sometimes I feel outta control. I feel I know how to control the bbs. But when there are other people in the household that are not a vigilant as me and that makes the problem worse. You're right as far as polio and other diseases of the '50s. They were scared as well in those times. I don't know how long mankind was on this earth. 2,000 years? 2 billion years? And bbs were only eradicated for 50 of those years. Not a good track record if you ask me.
Jam, how 'bout an update? How many PCO visits have you had? How many bites have you and your family members had in the last 2 weeks? Have you seen any bugs or blood on the sheets in the last couple of weeks?
Coop, thanks for asking. Pco comes tomorrow and then will follow up 10-14 days 3x. But, I will have them come back until I see no more evidence. I get bites every day. So does my son and boyfriend. Although I look at my b/f secretly because he thinks I'm making a big deal outta it. He will not let me check him. I have not seen any live bugs, only 1 dead one after I caulked the living room. Not seen any blood on sheets for a long time. On the sheets I see brown thin small things which I think are legs. I know bb don't have legs, but it may not be a leg, just that's what it looks like. I think it's them because what else can it be? I saw a few black lines on the encasement underneath the top one on the boxspring. There must be a hole somewhere but I do not know. I checked everywhere and can't seem to find it. I have encasements from NA and am putting those on after pco treats. I plan on caulking all holes in bedframes after pco treats and caulking the baseboards as well.
repetative ISOLATED UNTILL USED laundry/personal items too towels ... purses ... and socks and shoes.
Inspection, if perhaps, the protection has been breeched anywhere. Klean free and all other contact killers--when appropriate per the PCO. ISOLATING and re-isolating the beds, to keep them bb--free! per the FAQS, but repeated as in checked as much as is necessary. Vacuuming, per checking with the PCO and decluttering is one third of the battle the repeated pco visits is another third:
List out the other third
i.e. everything else you do or should do or want to do--and must do:
that is the other third and for you the most important:
WHAT are some of these things? Caulking; steaming, boiling water, tape and vasaline and caulk to exclude or control bb movemetns. All the DE in the right places safely, later, when the PCO is done. Never give up on isolating the laundry to some degree, when it's over, and keep the beds isolated too!
Setting a schedule and doing your best--and not forgetting to rest.
Do it/them--and none of those fears your having will or could likley ever occur.
Why is this last third the most important for you particularly?
It's the part you get sketchy on--becasue of living situation and it then just all seems to be too much all at once.
nyj - it seems that you have made no progress in feeling safe with the b/f. he is hindernig your progress - in my opinion. these area all good questions but there are no certain answers. you must go through the process. if kids dont listen to you on how they need to behave in the house regarding bbs (ie - dont sit on couch with clothes you use in your room, or whatever your rules are) you will deal with that while your plan is in progress. if b/f is not cooperative make a decision - he can either come in your house or not. period. until the bbs are gone. you need to takae control of your home. we can all ask questions forever. get started and sometimes things fall into place without having the answers beforehand. the scenario can lend itself to the answer.
alsoyou do not want to not treat. yes the will take over your home and be in everything and be gross -just as you described that person on your initial blog to this question.
also your children are young and appearance etc. matters to kids. they cant be walking around with bites all over the place on them and not have a kid at school make fun of them. you dont want that.
get the pco. get the pco. get the pco.
get the PCO, follow up.
I think everyone has those subway thoughts at some point, but they are irrational. (Irrational = fear out of proportion to danger.)
Everyone in NYC is not infested with bed bugs.
I ride the subway. Do I sit on subway seats? Yes.
Do I sit on wooden subway benches? No. Why? Because one Bedbugger once told us of an infested wooden bench in the subway. It's probably still kind of irrational of me, but it helps me sleep at night.
So try to strike a balance between really irrational (not getting on the subway, as some people here don't) and slightly-irrational-but-ok. Only you can decide what fits in those categories. In my life, I have to go on living and enjoying life. Anything that keeps me from living (eg skipping the subway entirely) or could get me arrested as a potential terrorist, or make others sick (um, spraying pesticides in public--as I mentioned someone doing on another thread), or is harmful to others (causing embarrassment can be harmful) is bad, in my book.
Slightly less irrational behavior, which might still seem odd to others if they knew, is ok. I learned not to give a toss when people saw me bagging clothes at the laundromat.
Pco is coming today. And nightshirt, my b/f now lives with me. So, what to do if he does not cooperate? Throw him out? What if I do that and still have bbs?
what you do is explain to him that since he is not cooperating, according TO YOUR WISHES (it is your home) he will have to stay elsewhere until he can either abide by your criteria or the bb's have gone and you treat his clothes accordingly.
choice is yours nyj. if you want to rid yourself of these bugs you probably need to be the police in your house, do thigs right without sabatoging yourself and get on with a bb free life.
Based on personal experience only I believe that you are acting perfectly normal. Only time without bites or bug discoveries
will help get you back to a more relaxed mind. For me as of how I feel right now. I am a bit more relaxed but I will probably never sit on a park bench again. I was always concerned about that kind of stuff in some way. I have seen some pretty scruffy looking characters sitting on park benches, some looking as if they have not showered in years scratching their heads, I could smell them many feet away. It is obvious that if not bed bug infested those individuals could have some other problems due to them not caring about themselves. I feel sorry for them but at the same time self preservation mode kicks in. I think those feelings are natural.
I ride the subway everyday and sometimes I will change seats because of a gut feeling that I get about a person.
Do what you must do to get you through this. If people see you sitting on a plastic bag so what. Your not hurting anyone.
Don't care what people think too much. Hey, if I saw you I would think, there is a smart person.
I've been talking to my b/f about isolating the bed and living out of bags and he's afraid that we are going to pass this "mental" state onto our children. My b/f wants to know: (this is coming from him ok)
My b/f says: house is in bags, do you have friends over, how do you live, are you losing your friends because you can't go over their house or they over your house because you are bringing bbs back and forth. What do you do for entertainment, do you have a tv in a bag or no tv at all? Do you take a book on the train in a bag? I think it's ocd because you have bags over books. You have to throw everything away and have an empty house and live like that. Mind as well as have nothing at all. sleeping on an airbag and living like that, empty house with nothing at all in it. What's the difference about sitting on a bed or a chair because they can jump and smell your blood and bite you.
Putting vaseline on the white window sill and the vaseline becomes black from dirt and how does that look? To isolate the ac's and have black marks all over the place from the vaseline and dirt. You will not have a beautiful house at all and your children are living in it and will pick up on these behaviors which is not good.
My girlfriend is not infested and I think that you guys are and that's why you are doing these things to the extreme. My girlfriend is getting treated and the chemicals need to work and it's only a few bites here and there. Give it a chance and they will die. All the pcos keep coming and spraying and not giving it time to work and that's why the bbs are not dying. I think it's overworked. My girlfriend has them, but she is not infested. She has already spent a lot of money. I have spoken to people and they think I am right. You can't have pictures on walls or books or entertainment. Your neighbors and landlord and friends will not come up to you because you have them and will be afraid.
We are living like homeless people, out of bins and afraid to sleep on our beds. Are you afraid the remotes have them and cell phones, etc. Mind as well have NOTHING. This will lead into depression and insanity because my girlfriend is depressed already and she will have to get used to living like this for the rest of her life which is not good.
I suggest explaining the situation to your children in a straight foreward way but delicately. I would not hide tyour children from the world and its situations. How did you explain 911 to them?
Can you afford a therapist? My therapy is helping me. Hopefully living the way you now have to live will end some day and you will get back to a better way. You are in a tough battle and others are experiencing the same things as you, if you follow suggestions on this site you have a good chance of getting rid of the bugs.
Infestations of any kind can be frightening to most people. Best advice again is to search out a good therapist.
fist dolly, tell the kids this is temporary and rich and poor alike can get them and the faster they listen to you about how to conduct themselves inside the house the quicker you will be rid of them and they can resume their usual routine.
the things we are doing are not to the extreme. you need to do this to eradicate. period. bagging a tv - i never bagged electronics at all. maybe my infestation was mild but i did not get nuts about that stuff. your pco should check inside with a flashlight and then adivse you how to proceed with your electronics.
i did not have friends over though and did go to my parents house, taking the clothing precautions. brought clean over, stripped in the kitchen, bagges and washed. then had a lovely time. and maybe you cannot be social for a while. if you lose friends over this they werent friends anyway nyj.
dont think too much about this. as i said - sometimes we dont have the answers but living through the experience will give us the answers we need at that time as issues crop up. every angle, variable and perspective cannt be pre-thought. as you know we always get curve balls in life. go with the flow. it will work out and if you did get my pco company you are in great hands. you must tell them your pco history and your home history re: bb's. they could also suggest that b/f leave unitl infestation finished. but im not sure that would be their place. him being uncooperative just makes your situation more difficult, emotionally and head trip wise.
let us know. we are rooting for you huni.
NYJammin, and Jammin's boyfriend (welcome!)
Look, if you do this stuff right, get the PCO in and support his or her work with the stuff you need to do, then you can get rid of bed bugs. If your neighbors have them, and the landlord does not deal with that, then you might not get rid of them, in that apt. That's the truth. If it happens, you will have to move. If you cannot move, you will have to get the city to force the landlord to solve (not treat, solve) the problem. This can be done.
Jammin's b/f, the truth is, if the apartment has bed bugs, it IS infested. That's what the word means. But I do not believe this has to go on forever, or that you have to lose your minds.
Doing everything you can to fight the bed bugs, and doing it in a smart and focused way, is a way to avoid depression.
Good luck, Jammin and Jammin's b/f. Support each other. Help each other. B/F needs to understand that it is very common for one person in a couple to suffer more itchiness and bites than the other. I don't know if that's your situation, but if so, try to understand where Jammin is coming from.
I think your boyfriend is afraid of what having bedbugs "means." Perhaps you are too. I've been thinking about why bedbugs affected me so deeply and I just want to say that it is very important to understand that bedbugs say nothing about who you are or how you live your life. Nothing. In the past, bedbugs were associated with poverty, with unsanitary conditions, with "other" people. But that was just ignorance. We don't have to be ignorant anymore. We have information and experience. Anyone can get bedbugs and, in NYC, a lot of us do. It's useless, and counterproductive, to be embarrassed about having bedbugs, or afraid that you will become the type of person who lives with bedbugs. There is no such thing. In fact, thinking about how others may think of you, of what having bedbugs means, of being "infested" of "living like homeless people," is a one way road to depression. You can get rid of them. You just have to do the work. It does take a little time. It's not a tragedy. Life will go on. The only thing that can make bedbugs tragic is if you do nothing about them, because they certainly don't disappear on their own. Right here on this forum there are people who were desperate and depressed over having bedbugs and have them no more. No more bedbugs. You can do it too, but denial is, of course, the wrong move. Denial will prevent you from taking steps. You don't have to live out of plastic bags for the rest of your lives. You can, in fact, learn from this curveball that life is throwing you and teach yourselves and your children simple lessons about how to deal with adversity with courage, with a sense of humor, with love. You don't have to teach your children embarrassment and humiliation over bedbugs. But, first, you have to believe it yourselves. You can instead teach them problem-solving skills, how to deal with conflict and stress, how to persist with an effort until a goal is achieved.
Being afraid and paranoid is normal when you are fighting a bedbug infestation. It's normal. You will have these feelings, these moments of panic. Expect it but don't let it derail your efforts. I had these feelings and thoughts too. "It will never end." "I should just throw everything away." "Why is this happening to me?" "I am losing my mind."
Keep your eye on the ball. Recognize that this is a difficult time and be there for each other. It will end one day. Make sure your family is still together when it does. Make sure you can remember how much love you showed each other. How you were each other's rock. You don't realize how lucky you are to have each other. I had to fight bedbugs alone. There are people who have it worse than you and me put together.
Hopeless, I always cherish the words you say. How the heck do you do it? You have a gift. In a way, I wish I was alone fighting bbs. Then, I would not have to deal with my b/f making things worse. But, you did have to carry all those freakin' bins by yourself and go through it by yourself. But, by yourself, you are in control. You can get rid of bbs much easier by yourself. You don't have to worry about family not tying the bags up tightly or worrying that they don't wipe their feet off before bed or just not caring. I used to be neat and clean and now there's stuff all over the place so unorganized. I hate my kids seeing me like this.
Nobugs, haven't told the b/f about your post yet, but I will. When he reads your post he's not going to believe you as far as the "infestation" goes or the bites goes. He thinks since we sleep separate and only I'm getting bitten that it's only in my bedroom. But you know what, I'll show him your post and keep you posted.
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