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Top 10 Ways to know you're battling BB's
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Itchy-Scratchy
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Posted 1 year ago
Sun Aug 3 2008 20:42:52
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buggyinsocial suggested that we draft a "Top Ten" list for BBs. Here's a list I've come up with ... if anyone has anything to add, please feel free!!
Buggyinsocial, this is for you:
TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE BATTLING BEDBUGS:
1. You can debate the pros and cons of every brand of garbage bag.
2. Your vacuum is your best friend.
3. You can name at least 4 pesticides, yet you can't name 4 new movies that will open next month.
4. Your idea of a spa treatment involves showering and calamine lotion.
5. Ghost stories don't scare you but bug-feces do.
6. You think that you will encounter less bugs camping than you will at a five-star hotel.
7. You're on a diet not because you are fat, but because all of your clothes shrunk in the dryer.
8. Debugging is no longer a computer term.
9. The Vaseline next to your bed is not for moisturizing purposes.
10. Going TO your job is your de-stressor. -
Beatrice
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Posted 1 year ago
Mon Aug 4 2008 10:51:35
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-You have no hesitation about asking "is that pimple or bug bite?"
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Adele
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Posted 1 year ago
Mon Aug 4 2008 11:33:30
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this is great!!!
i loved it - very clever and thank you for posting it
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buggyinsocal
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Posted 1 year ago
Mon Aug 4 2008 11:53:40
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I know I listed some in a post somewhere, but, alas, I didn't tag it. Here are some I came up with up off the top of my head,
*You actually have a preference between Ziplock and Hefty sealed top bags, and you're not afraid to share that opinion with others.
*Whatever insect infestations you've dealt with in the past, you'd take them back in a heartbeat as compared with bed bugs.I don't know how to make this funny, but I will tell you this--I seriously look for bed bug friendliness of furniture/room set ups the same way that when I go back east now, I look at architecture and room layout with an eye to earthquakes. That is, when I go back east now, I find myself going "Oh, all those brick buildings are totally not quake safe." or "Well, that 25th floor suspended walkway will be the first thing down in the Big One" even though I know that earthquakes are not a threat on the east coast the way they are here.
I'll try to think of the rest as they come.
Oh, and :
*You may be as green as they come:driving a Prius, becoming a locavore, and taking reusable bags with you wherever you go, but you find yourself looking nostalgically back on the days of DDT and/or lobbying for new and stronger pesticides.
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spideyjg
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Posted 1 year ago
Fri Aug 8 2008 19:44:58
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You can't quite dig all the caulk out from under your fingernail.
Jim
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Itchybutdealing
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Posted 1 year ago
Fri Aug 8 2008 20:14:38
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You inspect your bed like a hawk every morning, and note any "spot" changes.
You try several new places for sex, anywhere but your bed (the shower, the kitchen, the floor....etc.) anywhere that doesn't gross you out!
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fightorflight
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Posted 1 year ago
Fri Aug 8 2008 22:24:34
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> 10. Going TO your job is your de-stressor.
This is my hands-down favorite. Unfortunately it's only true until you begin to be petrified that you've infected your workplace.
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mangycur
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Posted 1 year ago
Sat Aug 9 2008 12:22:09
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Jim, that caulk under the fingernails is hysterical
I'm just going to riff on this a bit--we're definitely getting more than 10
--all of your clothes are shrunken or caulk-stained, or alcohol faded
--you never wear lingerie anymore--it's all in storage for 18 months--just granny panties from here on out
--your house smells of wintergreen rubbing alcohol
--you go to the doctor to have your cholesterol checked, they swab your arm with rubbing alcohol, and you breathe deep and relaxed because the rubbing alcohol smell triggers that "safe" feeling
--your bedside table is cluttered with anti-itch cream, Off! spray, a flashlight, duct tape, and a box of ziplocs
--when walking down the street with a friend, you see a mattress (or any furniture) discarded near the gutter, and you insist that your friend cross the street with you so you won't even get near it
--you buy alcohol, tape and ziplocs in bulk
--you took your books down off the shelves and replaced them with ziplocs in every size that can be manufactured
--you canceled your gym membership because you keep leaving your sneakers out on accident, so you never have the proper attire
--all of your social conversation takes place at the laundramat
--you can live without your ipod, but not your caulk gun
--spray bottles of alcohol and paper towels stationed on every surface of your home
--you suddenly find the heart to throw away books instead of taking them to strand
--you can't logg off the forums on time to get to the laundramat before noon -
Itchy-Scratchy
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Posted 1 year ago
Sat Aug 9 2008 12:30:12
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Wow, these are all so good!
Maybe we should change the title to "25 Ways to know youre battling BB's"
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Adele
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Posted 1 year ago
Sat Aug 9 2008 16:37:06
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CAn we add my personal favorite?
I have more cans of bedlam in my apartment than cans of anything else including hairpsray
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spideyjg
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Posted 1 year ago
Mon Aug 11 2008 0:48:00
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You have more caulk than a construction site. ;)
Jim
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Marixpress
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Posted 1 year ago
Thu Sep 11 2008 11:55:11
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You wake up 44543436736 times each night, not to check the bed for monsters, but bugs!
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Bugged_in_MD
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Posted 1 year ago
Thu Sep 11 2008 12:34:06
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"I have more cans of bedlam in my apartment than cans of anything else including hairpsray.'
..... Hair spray kills them on contact to.
When you go shopping at different stores to stock of up on alcohol, It's like hiding a drinking problem.
Being out of duct tape is worse then being out of toilet paper.
When you go out to eat, you are slowly looking at the booth cover and wall carpet area.
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Itchy-Scratchy
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Posted 1 year ago
Fri Sep 12 2008 7:26:03
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Bugged_in_MD - 18 hours ago » Being out of duct tape is worse then being out of toilet paper.
All so funny, but the one above made me laugh SO HARD!! God, it felt so good to laugh. :-)
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grossbugs
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Posted 1 year ago
Wed Oct 29 2008 16:18:28
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omg! i can't believe someone else has asked the "is that a pimple or a bug bite" question! i thought i had spread bed bugs to my poor bf until he embarrassingly admitted to a case of bacne!
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Arrrgh, yes Flax Seeds in bread. After bringing home a loaf of super healthy bread and making toast I totally freaked out looking at all the "bugs" on my kitchen floor. In fact I spend so much time staring at the floor it's like I'm in a trance.
Yes, I did figure out (embarrassed to say how long it took) that these bugs couldn't be squished, then i took the loaf out of the fridge and realized, i had actually lost "it."
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buggyinsocal
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Posted 7 months ago
Sun Mar 15 2009 14:04:15
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I am strangely relieved to find that I'm not the only flax-seed phobe in the world.
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TiredandWorried
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Joined: Dec '08
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Posted 7 months ago
Sun Mar 15 2009 14:21:29
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I just recently purchased a chicken wrap from C-F-A and had the same reaction to the seeds that were on the wrap! My husband flipped when he first saw them! We had a good laugh! I am glad that I am not the only one with the flax seed thougths!
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losingit
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Posted 7 months ago
Mon Mar 16 2009 9:26:40
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I have a few brewing
You always stand in a practically empty subway, bus, streecar.
Instead of lipstick you carry a magnifying glass in your purse.
Even when you're single you know you're not sleeping alone and it's more depressing.
You look at period movies, tv shows and think "uh huh, that baroque/medieveal bed would be crawling"
You look and sound like someone on CSI when you scrutinize somthing "confirmed: lint"
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losingit
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Posted 7 months ago
Mon Mar 16 2009 9:55:56
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--your bedside table is cluttered with anti-itch cream, Off! spray, a flashlight, duct tape, and a box of ziplocs
Ha ha, that cracked me up!
It's like some kind of dialogue "hey, baby, uh.. what's with the duct tape and ziplocks and all? I ain't into that stuff..." as your date slowly backs out of your bedroom.
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begonebedbugs
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Posted 7 months ago
Mon Mar 16 2009 12:57:31
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This is a great post! This one is my favorite:
"You try several new places for sex, anywhere but your bed (the shower, the kitchen, the floor....etc.) anywhere that doesn't gross you out! "
I told my husband the other night that maybe I'd sleep better if we had sex before bed but anytime he tries to touch me I freak out and slap him... and theres NO WAY I'd get in my bed naked and in the dark!
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brbugfighter
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Posted 6 months ago
Mon May 11 2009 10:32:55
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You take a sudden interested in alternative sleeping options, like the magnetic floating bed, which is unfortunately is way out of your price range.
You may be SERIOUSLY considering getting or making your own suspended bed, only yours would be all steel, including the ropes and would come with automatic dispensers of vaseline.
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Hi,
Got to say love the floating bed, I will order one when the finances allow but it would cost the proceeds of some 7,000 infestations to afford one.
On the subject of bed design I actually have a specially made four poster myself. The legs are mirror smooth metal and is completely isolated from the floor and walls. I never put outside clothes on the bed or bags of any description and yet in the last 7 years I have had 4 or 5 of the little darlings sleeping in bed with me.
They usually don't last more than 30 days (my time between inspections) but it is proof that bed bugs are ingenious enough to get around most obstacles.
I am currently working on a new newsletter outlining why wooden beds are actually the best type for bed bug eradication and what steps should be taken to reduce refugia and make inspection optimal.
I am hoping to have it online in a few weeks.
Until then we can all just drool at the floating bed concept.
David Cain
Bed Bugs LimitedPS for the top 10 can we have that you can spell entomology correctly and name a few of entomologists.
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losingit
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Posted 6 months ago
Mon May 11 2009 11:25:10
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The floating bed brings a whole slew of ideas:
Instead of a water bed, you'd sleep in a huge square vat filled with vaseline (drowning could be an issue though:)
You think of attaching some kind of voltage system to your metal bed frame so you can 'fry' the bugs. Stay off the bed when you turn the power on.
You search online for ways to buy, breed and train the Masked Assassin bugs.
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Itchy-Scratchy
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Posts: 547
Posted 6 months ago
Mon May 11 2009 20:43:27
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losingit - 1 month ago »
Even when you're single you know you're not sleeping alone and it's more depressing.LOL! OMG, losingit, that's SO funny!!
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bed-bugscouk - 21 hours ago »
I am currently working on a new newsletter outlining why wooden beds are actually the best type for bed bug eradication and what steps should be taken to reduce refugia and make inspection optimal.I buy that. When I move, the plan was we'd invest in a metal bed, some basic frame from Ikea. But then, as much as my bed was a HUGE pain in the butt (without a box spring, to boot!) when I considered all the cracks and such, don't most (nice) metal bed frames have hollow tubes? I'm just saying, yikes. I'm thinking best bet is a metal bed that's not hollow (or truly sealed) or a sealed up wooden bed. With those passive bed bug monitors on the four posters. And REALLLLY high up so covers don't even dream of touching the ground. And the very fact that we all have to consider these things instead of "what goes with my dressers?" is another one for the list. *L*
As is "one begins to have a drastic appreciation for the little things. Like access to their entire wardrobe, and lower power bills." :P
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stricken
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Posts: 75
Posted 4 months ago
Fri Jul 3 2009 15:23:04
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You curl up with Steri-Fab every night as if it's your teddy bear.
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lil_bit_obsessed
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Posts: 501
Posted 4 months ago
Sat Jul 4 2009 15:03:26
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when talking about your dream of building a house together, you and your partner agree that you will put a coat of DE inside each of the walls before you even seal them up.
when walking down the street with friends you spot a mattress/dresser/other suspicious item out on the curb. you know who your closest friends are because they're the ones who can read your mind, and who understand why you suddenly have an anxious expression on your face.
you've seriously considering trying to teach your dog to find bedbugs in your home.
you still buy second hand books (because they're fabulous), but you ask the store clerk for extra plastic bags. then you seal them up in a few rounds of plastic (to the confusion of the poor store clerk) take them home, and bake them thoroughly before introducing them to your bookshelves. you continue to do this YEARS after your bedbug experience.
you choose to purchase items on the basis of whether or not they could be easily treated if you are ever re-exposed to the bugs.
you love almost all insects, but wouldn't hesitate to quash a bedbug.
years after your bb experience, you continue to stock a few spare bottles of rubbing alcohol, 'just in case'.
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so_confused
newbite
Joined: Aug '09
Posts: 6
Posted 2 months ago
Mon Aug 31 2009 7:20:27
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This made me laugh guys
here's mine
It's frigthing how much you and Monk have in common. -
Used furniture purchases are measured to see if they'll fit in your packtite. Shoes, jackets and purses must contain zero velcro.
: )
Portland, OR
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KILL_ALL_BEDBUGS
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Posts: 39
Posted 2 months ago
Mon Aug 31 2009 13:10:30
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You own enough bed bug fighting equipment to start your own business
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Killbug
newbite
Joined: Aug '09
Posts: 8
Posted 2 months ago
Mon Aug 31 2009 14:56:55
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I am dreaming of glass bed, in room with glass walls, with glass door and glass floor. Besides that room should be equipped with heater that heats whole room to 60 degrees C. :D
you know you're battling BB's when...
... bright light is not disturbing you, while sleeping.
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SleeplessInVan
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Posts: 14
Posted 2 months ago
Mon Aug 31 2009 21:36:12
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You've suddenly become pale. Not as a fashion statement but the only time you can sleep is in the middle of the day.
You consider buying packtites for everyone in your family as christmas / birthday gifts.
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cilecto
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Posted 1 month ago
Thu Oct 8 2009 14:06:37
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Human Resources puts out the latest business dress code…now including "Tyvek".
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vulnerable
newbite
Joined: Oct '09
Posts: 2
Posted 1 month ago
Thu Oct 8 2009 14:58:10
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A teenager who spends more time websurfing bed bugs than on myspace
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BBsonme
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Posts: 50
Posted 1 month ago
Thu Oct 8 2009 22:10:18
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-- Your bedroom is taped off like a crime scene
-- You never invite your guests to 'have a seat'
-- You never have guests
-- You can spot a gnat 20 yards away
-- You carry a ziploc like it's a purse and say it's a fashion statement
-- You pepper your food and then have a panic attack
-- You're on all fours so much the dog starts trying to do you
-- You can't do your spouse without keeping one eye open for bed bugs
-- You actually LIKE visiting your mother-in-law.
-- All of the postings on this topic would make you ROFL (roll on the floor laughing) were it not for the fact that you'd be afraid you get up with bites.
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- you start to envying people who have pillow
-your new bed is the kitchen floor
- all of your photo albums are bagged, taped, and labeled" DO NOT OPEN FOR 2 YEARS" -
soscared
newbite
Joined: Sep '09
Posts: 95
Posted 4 weeks ago
Sat Oct 10 2009 23:15:55
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I have one:
- You check bedbugger forums before your email. -
- You know what size vacuum bags to buy without looking at your vacuum
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sunshine1583
newbite
Joined: Jul '09
Posts: 26
Posted 3 weeks ago
Sun Oct 11 2009 14:00:22
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You have a decontamination plan for entering/exiting your house.
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watkinsnewan
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Posted 3 weeks ago
Thu Oct 15 2009 10:04:37
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when a mouse becomes your best friend click, click!!
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watkinsnewan
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Posted 3 weeks ago
Thu Oct 15 2009 10:11:24
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or when your child suggest to you to get A black bearded Dragon and let is loose in the house to eat all the bugs!! An even tho you are really scared of then you contemplate it!!
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tinyvampire
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Joined: Oct '09
Posts: 24
Posted 2 weeks ago
Tue Oct 20 2009 16:27:51
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i thought i'd post this, since i'm actually feeling this way right now:
-you get giddy about renting a car for a weekend day trip...to the landfill...
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watkinsnewan
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Posted 1 week ago
Sun Oct 25 2009 21:58:06
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bump!!
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Vell23
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Joined: Oct '09
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Posted 1 week ago
Sun Oct 25 2009 22:24:58
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LOL all these posts are hilarious, I have some that I do
Driving past houses and wondering if the people that live there is battling them to
Won't hang ur coat up next to other people's coat
Going to sleep with 10 pieces of clothing on during a heatwave
Sitting in front of someone and thinking there is a bed bug crawling on the back of you
Can't watch a movie good witout looking around to see if any is moving in on you
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bedbuggery
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Posts: 41
Posted 1 week ago
Mon Oct 26 2009 0:08:31
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On the floating bed..... I had been contemplating installing a nylon camping hammock with hooks in the roof beams. This may be hard if you are renting I realize, but if you added a ring of double-sided sticky tape to the roof... you would be bedbug free I reckon. Now simply sleep in a hammock for 18 months and you're home free!!! Maybe you'll get used to it and never go back :)
If anyone would seriously be interested in this approach there are some decent (and comfy) hammock's on this site; http://www.eaglesnestoutfittersinc.com/
also at REI.Oh and top ten.... when somebody in the room asks if bedbugs are real you drop everything and engage them in a half hour educational session.
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bedbuggery
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Posts: 41
Posted 1 week ago
Mon Oct 26 2009 0:13:26
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You can also add sleeping pads to these hammocks, blankets pillows.. the works... just don't let anything touch the ground!!!
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sickofbugs
newbite
Joined: Mar '09
Posts: 13
Posted 1 week ago
Mon Oct 26 2009 0:19:29
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I laughed so hard reading all of these posts, I really needed to read these.
About 4 months was seriously considering buying some rancid bear grease to rub on myself. It sure keeps the bed bugs away (an old native solution) but would sure keep everyone away.
I thought of buying a cattle prod or a taser, but then realized I could do some serious damage to myself or someone else. The things we think of when we are desperate!
sickofbugs
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bbboogie
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Joined: Oct '09
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Posted 1 week ago
Mon Oct 26 2009 21:29:37
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I have laughed my way through this topic! Ahhh, it feels good to have some humor injected in this situation. :-)
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