"Testing Products" spin-off, or, Clap for Tinkerbell, pretty please?(5 posts)
I spun this off of the cockroach discussion in the Testing Products thread. I felt I deserved that.
Sigh. I have more bug knowledge lately than any commoner should have to.
I have a funny story about the big ones. What I don't have right now is an attention span but I'll try.
It was that MAJOR east coast blackout of 9 ? years ago. It was a mess. No water. No food in the neighborhood to be had. No flushing toilets. Hot out and me with a six year old.
The first day I spent the entire day outside. I never once got off of my feet except when we came in to go to sleep. The second day was the same and having heard people were sleeping outdoors I was prepared to do the same.
Meanwhile, I had a six yo to entertain and apparently I did.
I don't remember what they call those flat collapsible memory wire cube things are called--the ones you can arrange together in different formations; attached by velcro. Like little cube houses for kids to crawl through and play in? (Somebody help me out here.) Well the main cube was bigger than the rest. It had a mesh top, except two little morons thought cutting it up with their kiddie scissors was the coolest thing some time prior... It had two circular openings to attach the other "cubes" to. Essentially a wire framed fabric little cube house.
I took it outside and set up camp. I placed it under a tree and threw in some sleeping bags for bedding and some pillows. We could rest in there or even sleep, but for me it would be with my legs sticking out. How cool of a mother am I?
So it's day two, and I haven't sat once, and the trips to the hydrant and listening to the radio was getting old. I decided to lie down in our brightly colored little box--all red and yellow and blue.
The kid and I go in and I just, I mean just that second, put my hands behind my head, hit the pillow, and let out a sigh "Aaaah." I wasn't down 5 seconds when I felt something strike my head. At that same moment the kid says, "Mommy, there's a cockroach in your hair!" I knew from the strike this wasn't one of those little ones.
Then I, I who stood in between Bloods and Crips, I who ran into places no normal person who go, well, flipped!
I leapt up with my head sticking out of this cube, which was now resting on my shoulders, the one even the color-blind could see a mile away, and was jumping around screaming "where is it? where is it?" while slapping at my head--anywhere--to get the damn thing off of me. I was a shrieking amplified 6' x 4' jack-in-box on high-speed.
And this is what my kid will remember me for.
(Thank you for the diversion opportunity.)
Well, the kid thought it was funny.
Your posts are a bit cryptic, aren't they? Who's the "kid"?
I grew up in the south with the meanest wasps on earth, aggressive sand flies, and big honking horse flies that slice you open to lap your blood as you bleed.
Anything buzzes by my head I flinch to this day.
Apparently, ex pat southerners who've had enough of cockroaches the size of hummingbirds end up in southern California.
I, too, grew up in the south. (I'm originally from New England. We moved around a lot when I was a kid, so the full list is pretty complicated.)
I remember the horse flies. I also remember those horrible wingless wasps (Velvet ants?) that were huge crawling along the ground at camp. I remember deer flies/yellow flies whose bites itched 4 times as much as a mosquito bite. (Until bed bugs they were hands down the worst thing ever.) I remember hornets and waps and dirt daubers. And the roaches. Not those little German cockroaches people in the northeast are afraid of; I mean the big giant ones that we'd find one or two of dead on the floor at high school when we walked in every morning.
And chiggers. Did I mention chiggers?
I do not miss them at all. I also don't miss having to be on the look out for so many different kinds of poisonous snakes.
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