Taking my anxiety meds again. Paranoia getting severe.

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Taking my anxiety meds again. Paranoia getting severe.

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carpet beetles

Paranoid001

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Joined: Sep '09
Posts: 27

Posted 2 months ago
Sat Sep 19 2009 16:37:34
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I don't know what to do. I'm out of my mind.
Last week I got bit and assumed BB and flipped out. I have found no evidence of BB but lots of CB. "Bites" are where I would sit between couch cushions and I found them in there. Since then the only sites with reaction are my hands and wrists when I clean the vacuum canister. You'd think that was good...but I'm just not convinced. Every once in awhile I find another CB larvae and I can't breathe. Then I found this super tiny slightly fast moving pale bug with one and had a freakin heart attack. So tiny. From what I can see, it's not shaped like a BB but longer and skiny. Hoping that's what CB's look like freshly hatched but I don't know.
I am to the point of tears all the time. I can't rest. When I do I'm convinced I'm itchy b/c of the situation. I feel so alone. God forbid I mention BB to people. Half blow it off like I'm kidding and the other half act like I have some kind of hideous disease of filth. Just when you need to be alienated right? I feel so alone in this like I have no one to talk to. I find myself turning to this forum more and more despite people trying to tell me that all it does is feed my paranoia.
Anyone want to share how they feel? Or reassure me? Or just cuss out BB and CB to feel better? I mean I went full force after those bastards until I broke my vacuum doing it. Bought a new one and kept on going. I'm in physical pain from the severely intense cleaning and still feel like I can't do enough. I'm so tired...but now I'm paranoid I need to dump everything I own out. I found 2 in one burea and 2 in another. None on the actual clothes. I pulled them and checked. Drawer was otherwise clean. No dirt at all.

Does anyone feel this way?

My name is Regina.
MuchoInsano

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Joined: Aug '09
Posts: 54

Posted 2 months ago
Sat Sep 19 2009 18:09:33
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You are doing the right things. You do not want to work so hard that you end up destroying yourself or your equipment, so take your time and take breaks. I assume that CB's are carpet beetles. For CB's and BB you have to make sure you clean your clothing. It is not so bad that you have to throw out everything you have.

Feeling overwhelmed and stressed out is going to happen to everyone at some point, but you have to take a deep breath and carry on. You cannot let them win! To hell with all of the people who blow off your concerns as well as those who run off. Real understanding and compassion are traits that are neither taught nor widespread. There are tens of thousands of people who find themselves in the same situation (or have been there before). You are not alone and none of us will be so ignorant as the ones you have mentioned.

It is important that you get some rest. Stress and a lack of rest can make it harder to handle a difficult situation. We are here for you.
helpmenyc

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Joined: Jun '09
Posts: 18

Posted 2 months ago
Sat Sep 19 2009 18:43:59
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I understand completely, and I think my friends and family are burnt out from hearing about it. I rarely talk to them about it now. Fortunately there is this site. I have also started searching for a therapist. Something I was always against doing but I think someone who is outside our situation may have a more objective view and hopefully some helpful suggestions.

I am not suggesting you should do this, we all have to do what is right for ourselves. Keep up the good fight.
Paranoid001

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Joined: Sep '09
Posts: 27

Posted 2 months ago
Sat Sep 19 2009 19:45:00
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Thanks to you both for responding and making me feel less alone. I have four cats and four birds so I freak out easily since I cannot have toxins in the home. If it's just CB and no BB I will be grateful for that at least. Still very stressed about how to fully get rid of the little creeps.
I will have to purchase those large storage tubs for switching out my wardrobe this year. Not looking forward to it!
Can I just check the clothing over for signs or do I assume that they all need to be washed first?

Thanks so much to everyone for your support. I just feel so frightened and alone. Plus exhausted.

Regina
helpmenyc

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Joined: Jun '09
Posts: 18

Posted 2 months ago
Sat Sep 19 2009 19:49:34
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We are all in the same boat. I am no expert on clothes but I think zip lock bags are the way to go, they are sealed tight. Tub containers I think can let those creeps in.
Reallytired5

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Joined: Aug '09
Posts: 15

Posted 2 months ago
Sat Sep 19 2009 22:21:57
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Paranoid 001,

You don't have to wash all your clothes, but from what I've read on this site, you DO need to heat your clothes up to 140 degrees and keep them at that temperature for at least 5 minutes.

We purchased a lot of the space saver bags that you vaccuum the air out. We run our things (clothes, bed linens, bath towels, etc...) on the dryer for 20 to 30 minutes to get the internal temperature high enough. When the load is done, we fold, put our stuff in the bags, vaccuum the air out and then put the bag in a plastic bin. We are actually renting a storage unit right now and putting only bug-free, sealed items in storage. I'm hoping that one day soon, we will be able to bring our things home and unpack.

On a side note, as much as you want/need to get this done ASAP, you need to stay sane. Try to get some sleep, it helps you make better decisions.

Good luck.
Paranoid001

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Joined: Sep '09
Posts: 27

Posted 2 months ago
Sun Sep 20 2009 9:16:48
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My dryer is really old and I don't know what temperature is which. The highest setting I use is Medium b/c it gets SO hot. I usually dry on low b/c of shrinking.

I used space saver bags years ago and they didn't seem to last. I'd go in the closet and my comforter would have swollen out and made it impossible to get it back out of the small space of my closet. It sucked. Have you ever had these problems?
What about the clothes you wear each day? I mean I can't put all my clothes and socks in spacesavers and undo and redo them all the time each morning to find something to wear right? I'm open to this suggestion but please help me figure out how to do it! I cannot express how upset I am. Well, you guys would totally understand. SO far I only have CB but I'm beyond skeptical despite everyone I know telling me otherwise.

Thanks Regina
bbfiend

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Joined: Sep '09
Posts: 82

Posted 2 months ago
Sun Sep 20 2009 9:35:33
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Use zip-loc bags, Regina, they come in larger sizes now, not just the gallon + 2 gallon ones. A lot of the bedbuggers here use that. My walk-in-closet is now packed with ziploc bags of all sizes. Also works well for the daily things you need. Some people here keep a stash of clothes and stuff for daily in 1 bag or 2 and everything else in other bags and not open those. We are doing that. It works well for us. We try not to open those bags of stuff we keep as storage, unless it's absolutely necessary. As long as you are careful opening and closing them, as in delicate handling, they should last a while.

If you can't get them at your hardware store (I know some Home Depot stores sell them), you can get them online at drugstore.com (no, I don't work at either of these companies.. just that I had to hunt them down when I first started this ordeal.. Oh, I don't work for zip loc either..)

Cleaned stuff should go into them, that way, you save the hassle of rewashing/drying continuously. Also keep any potential bugs/laying of eggs out of your clothes and stuff... Make sure you close these bags well and check that they are. Air-tight is the word here...

Don't panic, it's all do-able.. so many of us have gone through this, are going through this, you can too. Personally, I think the psychological trauma inflicted by these vampires are worse than the actual bites and situation. Just be methodical and keep at it.
Paranoid001

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Joined: Sep '09
Posts: 27

Posted 2 months ago
Sun Sep 20 2009 9:43:30
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bbfiend - 5 minutes ago »
Use zip-loc bags, Regina, they come in larger sizes now, not just the gallon + 2 gallon ones. A lot of the bedbuggers here use that. My walk-in-closet is now packed with ziploc bags of all sizes. Also works well for the daily things you need. Some people here keep a stash of clothes and stuff for daily in 1 bag or 2 and everything else in other bags and not open those. We are doing that. It works well for us. We try not to open those bags of stuff we keep as storage, unless it's absolutely necessary. As long as you are careful opening and closing them, as in delicate handling, they should last a while.
If you can't get them at your hardware store (I know some Home Depot stores sell them), you can get them online at drugstore.com (no, I don't work at either of these companies.. just that I had to hunt them down when I first started this ordeal.. Oh, I don't work for zip loc either..)
Cleaned stuff should go into them, that way, you save the hassle of rewashing/drying continuously. Also keep any potential bugs/laying of eggs out of your clothes and stuff... Make sure you close these bags well and check that they are. Air-tight is the word here...
Don't panic, it's all do-able.. so many of us have gone through this, are going through this, you can too. Personally, I think the psychological trauma inflicted by these vampires are worse than the actual bites and situation. Just be methodical and keep at it.

Thank you SO much for those tips! Noticing the vampire note...I do not have BB but CB.
Is there a point where I can go back to living a "normal" life w/o bagging everything like I have OCD? A very knowledgeable person responded to my post on CB and said that just a weekly cleaning and staying on top of it should do the trick. I'm so nervous b/c I'm allergic to their little hairs. What do you think? Do you have just CB as well?

Much gratitude,
Regina
bbfiend

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Joined: Sep '09
Posts: 82

Posted 2 months ago
Sun Sep 20 2009 10:11:35
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No CBs, but BBs... sorry, don't know much about CBs or dealing with CBs.... but it seems like the BBs have taken over our lives. For us (talk about OCD.. ), my husband and I are intending to live by zip-loc for a year or more. It's ok I don't have friends coming to our apartment, I can deal with that! It just puts my mind at ease knowing that IF there are any of the bbs left, they can't get into the clothes. One less area to worry about.

We've been fighting bbs for 3 months now, the last bite was almsot 3 weeks ago.. still.. we are just a little paranoid. As it is, my husband is still sealing things up in the bedroom, old building, lots of cracks and crevices for the bugs to hide and procreate.

We even have all our books sealed up, as well as the dozens and dozens of paintings and artwork. Bagged up, airtight. Whatever we can seal up is sealed up!

my allergic reaction to bb bites is extreme, i'm one of those rare people who get a foot long welt, joint ache and burning pain. (i'm already on antihistamine for regular allergies but they don't seem to tone down my reactions to bb bites) so i do empathize with your feelings.. just remember you are a strong big human, and the CBs are little critters. that's how i mentally deal with my bbs. i look forward too, no, take delight in, hunting them and killing them. :) i know, the cave-man/woman psyche comes out. :)
Paranoid001

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Joined: Sep '09
Posts: 27

Posted 2 months ago
Sun Sep 20 2009 10:27:44
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My reaction is extreme too. I had someone helping me yesterday. She found a casing and went to touch it. I yelled "NO!" but it was too late. The movement of her hand blew it across MINE and it disappeared. A few hours later and there were clear little blisters where it rolled across my skin. Broken open they look like two tiny red dots. On my legs they were just huge red welts that looked like mosquito bites gone wrong. They went down fairly easliy and only itched a day or two. My arms on the other hand...looks like poison ivy got me. The amount of histamines in our blood makes us more paranoid and skitzy. I feel like I took Prenisone I am so shaky and itchy all over.
It is so bad that I keep checking for BB but have found NO evidence at all that they are here. I've had others search too. No blood. No fecal stains. No scent. No bugs. Just carpet beetles.
I will definately bag everything I put in "storage" even in my closet for off-season. People keep telling me that since my drawers are not infested that I will find one or two wandering and looking for food but not to freak out. I'm not convinced they are right.