Relationships and Possible Bugs(16 posts)
Argh! I feel like I'm going crazy and neurotic, and I'm sure you guys know how I feel. I'm new here and am waiting for maintenance to send out pest control for what I think may be a possible beg bug problem, though I have no idea.
I wake up every morning with 2 or 3 little bites in a row, always on my upper thigh and butt (I wear flannel pajama pants...why do they go up so high?). I itch on those spots for two weeks.
I can't find any signs of bed bugs, although months ago, I saw some tiny little red bugs in the living room but had no clue what they might be. Got two adult bugs on a piece of tape, but they don't look very flat or scaly...
At any rate, apart from the "Do I have Bedbugs" question, I'm wondering how people hold somewhat new relationships together when hit with a bedbug problem. I started dating a guy 4 months ago. I am absolutely obsessed with the bites I am getting and I don't want to give the bugs to him. I'm getting no sleep and he's been letting me sleep at his house till for a few days, which I realize now is not good for him. Geez, I feel like I have an STD.... Kinda wondering I didn't get them from his apartment, because it's old and the first outbreak of bites was after I slept over at his place. Of course, he is not noticing bites, but he has acne, so who knows. I want this relationship to last, but if I were dating someone as paranoid-sounding and obsessive as me, I wouldn't want to deal with it, let alonethe possibility of contracting the pests. He has a son, too, and I know he'd flip ifthe kid got bites.
I'm scared... I'm worried... I want to torch my place. I feel neurotic and obsessive and no one seems to take me seriously. Even my landlords looked like they were laughing a bit as they put in a maintenance request for bedbugs. No one here seems to have heard about it. I live in the Chicago suburbs and am a school teacher and I teach a lot of immigrant children.
Sorry I wrote so much. I'm seriously freaked. This has been going on for about two weeks now, though I first saw the little red bugs up to a year ago (not sure even if BBs is what they are).
I am so sorry for your situation.....take a deep breathe..and know that if this guy cares about you then you'll work this out. One of the unfortunate things about bed bugs is that they are "communicable"...and so many people, myself included, never really know the true source of their infestation...I call it the Bed Bug Hall of Blame , Shame and eventually, along with the rest of us you'll get inducted into the Bed Bug Hall of Fame...which means you will beat these monsterss....You must must read all the FAQ's on this Blog...there are put there to help you thru the initial freak out..and then take action....I would come clean with this guy...Its possible you did get them from him...or..its' possible an adjoining apt to yours is infested...or you could have got them in the school...Our schools in Manhattan and Queens have disclosed finding bed bugs....So...the first thing to do is to get past blaming yourself...and the next thing is to empower yourself....read all the faq's.....check every piece of furniture in your home..and clean it..Murphy's Oil Soap is a good contact killers...vacuum like crazy and get a small glass jar with a tight lid and save any possible evidence....small very round poppy seeded looking things..and light colored shedded bug skins and of course any bugs..kill them first and then put them in the jar..I say this because your landlord is in denial...and you may need evidence...so read the FAQ'a and start asking us questions..we are all here to help..we have all here suffered an infestation..your friend...Bugalina
Hi. I just logged on. I know you read the FAQs right? And you haven't found any other signs of bed bugs, other than the bites... however, before I ask you some questions, just know, I (we all do here) totally UNDERSTAND your concern and worry. It DOES feel like having an STD... and...I'm sorry to say, it could possibly affect a relationship. But I hope it doesn't for your sake.
I am a really attractive divorcee and there ain't no way no how I would trust someone in my bed, or me in their's right now... and so I'm probably going to be alone for a while...so in my case... Bedbugs created havoc in a future non existant relationship !
1. Read the Faqs and mentally start preparing-- if you do have bed bugs, there's lots of work to do, physically, and financially. So you need to MENTALLY get strong... can you promise me you'll stay strong? It's really important....
2. you need to SEARCH high and low, for evidence, take your time, use a flashlight and magnifying glass.
3. And start washing all of your things and bedding in very HOT water and a very HOT drier...
Other than this, without the evidence it's hard to say what you have.
Take pictures of your bites, and start documenting the dates you noticed them and the patterns and itchiness of them. Just for your own sake.
If you like this guy, try and tell him the truth about what you're going through. If he cares for you, it will be a sign of his character how he reacts.
Feel free to reply. Or PM.
BUGALINA !!! Funny lady. YOU AND I WROTE THE SAME THING AT THE SAME TIME. Great minds think alike.
Good idea about taking pictures of the bites. I really don't want to show the exterminator my butt, and I hadn't thought of photos.
I read through the FAQs, but in the end, it just becomes a total freak-out fest until I know for sure...
I feel like I can't have a social life at all anymore. "Hi, I'm a social pariah! I have something like headlice, except it will take over your entire house! Who wants to be friends?!"
we will be here for you! Check closely at all clothing too! There you may fimd some of them hanging out--if so washe well as per the faqs and let us know as soon as--or if you do find some in your inspection. You must be strong now
best wishes--and I hope you find nothing
but if you do?
get back to us right away!
even befroe you wash yur cloths--sometimes it is better to do nothing for an hour, get advice rather than start hunting like a mad woman all around--inother words be slow and methodical in your insecting, check the corners of the rooms too! rugs?
check in the corners especially near the bed
wantmyskinback...It's freaky...LILMO...There are things you can and should do before the exterminator shows up....Look at every crack and or crevice in your bed frame....clean like crazy...Take the photos and save any evidence...When is the exterminator going to show up??? SOON i hope...Get some enzyme spray..like Kleen Free...you can find it online..you can spray your shoes and legs with it before you go out ..its not toxic....May certain that the exterminator you are going to use KNOWS how to kill bed bugs..Ask them exactly what they plan on doing....and tell us...we can give you pointers..
Lilmo..there is a company that advertises on this site...on the left hand side...It says...Protection From Bed Bugs....their kit seems pretty good....You should click onto it and see what they say...I have used several things in their kit...but I purchased them separately...the Key Master just started taking Ads. as she spend an inordinate amount of time making this Blog happen ..for us..So recently she's taking ads...so I clicked onto this site and they have some good stuff...You need some tools of your own..as well as working alongside the exterminator....the sooner you bring the population down to zero....the sooner you can start to heal..emotionally....What kind of place are you renting?? Lots of apts.?? Apts. attached to yours??? You need to find out if they have bed bugs...many people keep it quiet..because of the shame..but that doesn't do anyone, any good...only the bed bugs..
Awww, come on...you are not a social pariah! I've felt (and often still do) feel that way....but I constantly put myself back on track....just be mindful, and try as hard as you can to be strong, and empower yourself, as bugalina said. just don't worry. it's NOT going to kill you. you are bigger than they are, don't forget that...!
Yeah, I guess I'm a little bigger... I'm not LilMo for nothing. That being said, I have a metal bedframe which is black on the outside, but not painted on the inside of the (many, many) tubes. I noticed something that looks like rust inside the tubes, but nothing else that I can see with a flashlight. Some, but not all, of the rusty stuff came off on a q-tip. I swear, I'm getting the phantom itchies just thinking about it. Can I just caulk up all the tubes on my bed?
EDIT: I just put some hydrogen peroxide on the red stuff and it didn't fizz. Is that a good thing? Like it may not be blood? (hopeful pause...)
LILMO,,.get a caulk gun..and caulk up everything you can see that has any cracks or crevices...you can put you bed ontop of a heavy plastic or cloth painters tarp...( You'll need help ) and then tape the tarp down to the floor with Frost King double sided carpet tape...( it works on carpets but better on wooden floors)... look inside all drawers of any furniture in your bed room..and as wilow says...you can start to wash your clothes...wash and dry on hot...and then immediately bag them in those new large and X large Ziplocks...unill you beat them , you are going to have to quarantine the clothes and shoes you wear...check inside your remote control..if you keep it near your bed...they have been found inside...check all along your window sillss and baseboards...you can smear vaseline on you bed legs, but if they are already inside the frame or mattress this won't help...you can't let any blankets touch the floor..they climb up them..soon you must protect your pillows and mattress with protective covers...if they are living inside your mattress....it won't be necessary for them to cross over any chemicals that the PCO sprays...its a lot of work..but its all necessary
Lilmo, you can wash your bed down with Murphy Oil soap (it's a contact killer) or spray it with rubbing alchohol, which also kills on contact. Yeah, you can caulk the bed cracks up. You got the patience for that? I caulked my entire room, closet, baseboards, I even went as far as painting my floor with white deck paint, which sealed up every crack. (thank you Bugalina! ). My PCO has told me that a woman who was at her wits end with this after several treatments by him, finally polyurethaned her floor with Oil based poly (the petroleum distallates kill the bugs too). And she got rid of them after that!
Lilmo, I don't know about the Hyd.Perox. thing. I never tried it... but...keep the red stuff for you PCO to inspect, like put it in a baggy and lable it, date and where you found it...
i think some bed bug poo needs a long time with hyd per (OR with water) to dissolve a bit. the dry ones. leave it a while and it should be red or rust on the edges.
also, you got a lot of good advice here but i want to add this--you MAY have given the guy BBs already and he MAY in fact have given them to you in the first place. it is VERY common for some people not to get bitten or to be bitten and not feel the bites (some get what look like bites, others see nothing; it appears that they're often men). You can read about S and G's three part experiment with this on the blog (blog button below--scroll down).
Also, read the FAQ on how to visit others without giving them BBs and how to treat clothing.
And realize that if he DOES get bbs, it may mean he was the original source. I am not saying that in terms of playing a blame game, but i am sick of people who REACT to bites being blamed as the source, since it often eventually becomes clear that the non-reactive person was the source after all (sometimes this becomes apparent later).
Anyway, honesty is best, but educate him thoroughly about these issues, and if he doesn't believe you, maybe we can hook him up with some non-reactive men who can explain it.
Okay, I did several things last night.
First, I got this thing called Monster Cleaners Baby, a mini-steamer with several attachments that can fit into a crack between the carpet and the wall. At two a.m., I steam cleaned the bedframe and around the edges of my room
I coated myself in DEET (98% DEET, Sportsmen's Deep Woods Off) before bed last night and am not sure if I got new bites or not... I can't seem to see them from any angle, but I feel itchy in my rear area.
I wore white pants to bed and very carefully checked my sheets, but no signs of blood.
Does DEET work on bedbugs? Supposedly it renders you "invisible" to skeeters, who also locate you via carbon dioxide.
Do you get bitten every night or just some nights?
Would I see any blood marks if I were getting bitten?
And last question, I swear (for now), why would I have started this whole episode with a sudden 20 bites in a cluster, and now go to just two once in a while? Could I just have gotten a bunch of hungry ones at once?
Okay...I'll stop. Gonna take a shower to get rid of the DEET, and then steam clean more things.
GOOD GIRL Mo ! I hope your efforts work.
Re your question: 20 bites all at once would be the work of several hungry bugs or a bunch who may have just hatched...then the lone one or two bites could be delayed reactions or a lone bug or two that hadn't fed yet. I think they feed every 10-12 days, and since they are not all on the same schedule you might get a few daily bites.
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