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My fiance ruined our PCO's work

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  1. uglybug

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    Posted 5 years ago
    Sat Jul 26 2008 0:06:46
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    OK. We had our landlord shell out a TON of money to spray. This is what the PCO sprayed: sterifab on furniture, beds, drione dust, kicker and demand around the house. Now, my fiance went home that day and saw the evidence of bug eggs on our matress pleats. He took it upon himself to spray that matress with something called Mystic Pest Spray all over the bed, and in our daughters room. I think it is malthonion or something. It is not a pyerethrin. I do not know what posessed him to do this after the PCO's sprayed our house. Should I call them back? Will this spray counteract with the chemicals they put down. I am so pissed off I can kill him. How could he do this. He stated he did not do our room or the living room. He stated he was upset and paranoid. As if this doesn't make my stress shoot even higher. I am waiting for a panic attack to ensue. And he takes it out on me, as if it is my fault. He stated because I am a social worker and go into people's dirty homes that I brought them in..now he is trying to make me quit my job...but he is right..i did see a client the other day who had bed bug bites she was scratching all over her arm. I think I did bring them home..I sat on her couch...bad mistake on my part...

  2. Battle of the Bugs

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    Posted 5 years ago
    Sun Jul 27 2008 9:59:32
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    Hi Uglybugly,

    About what I'm about to say are opinions from the other side of the fence for I am neither a PCO or a man.

    I suggest calling the PCO and asking if the product affects what he applied, and then take the answer with a grain of salt, because PCO's do not necessarily understand the chemicals well. No offense to PCOs on this board but I've certainly had my experience with more than two that know how to 'follow the proceedure' but when you ask them the more scientific questions on bed bugs and chemicals, they are stumped or start making up answers. The PCOs on this board seem knowledgeable though, perhaps you can find the can your fiance used, post the exact ingredients and see if anyone can advise.

    Bedbugs are a tramatic experience, especially when you have children too. As for your fiance, I think inside he knows he screwed up, so I would stop beating that to death. "He stated he was upset and paranoid." - that might be the closest thing you get to an apology, if he's that kind of guy. He feels backed into a corner so he starts deflecting or blaming you. This may all be obvious but just wanted to state it because bedbugs have ruined relationships,don't let them ruin yours and don't start blaming yourself either. Don't let them win!

    All the best.

  3. DougSummersMS

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    Posted 5 years ago
    Sun Jul 27 2008 11:41:42
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    Here is a link for info on Mystic Pest Spray
    http://www.pesticideinfo.org/Detail_Product.jsp?REG_NR=00000400440&DIST_NR=036272

    The active ingredient is Deltamethrin.

    Bed bugs appear to be listed on the label.

    The error may not be a totally catastrophic one. The biggest damage may be the additional conflict you are experiencing with your husband. The stress associated with these little parasites is highly toxic to your relationship.

    Shifting away from home visits may be a good career move.

  4. bedbugvictimperthaustralia

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    Posted 5 years ago
    Sun Jul 27 2008 18:57:47
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    Get a new fiancee. This one sounds like an idiot. If you two can't deal with a simple mistake like this like adults, why the hell are you getting married?

  5. paulaw0919

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    Posted 5 years ago
    Sun Jul 27 2008 19:20:15
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    I wouldn't worry too much about what your hubby sprayed. But what I would do, is call the PCO and just let them know what happened so that they are aware. Let them know that it was an accidental mistake, but in the meantime you did do some research and and was told that bed bugs were on the label.

    A bed bug infestation causes more stress than anyone can ever imagine that hasn't gone through it. You hubby is a good man, and at least is trying and not in denial on the problem. He did what he did thinking that it was a help. If the three of you can all get through this, you can get through ANYTHING. It takes time to rid the problem and during that extended time and continuous hard work...it can really damage a relationship.

    My advice...just let the PCO know what accidentally happened, keep up the hard work, and make sure you guys get out and spend some quality family time together. It's quality time away from the stress that will get you through this. It seems he's supportive and not a slug, so teamwork, and love will prevail. Best.

  6. belle72

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    Posted 5 years ago
    Mon Jul 28 2008 1:15:41
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    Awesome advice Paula. To the OP, I know this is incredibly scary, and you don't want the PCO's work compromised...sort of like if your fiance had taken out stitches on an incision just AFTER the Dr. put them in. I would be mightily upset too. But as others have stated, call the PCO asap and get their take on it. Good luck to you and God Bless.

  7. fightorflight

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    Posted 5 years ago
    Mon Jul 28 2008 3:05:35
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    > Shifting away from home visits may be a good career move.

    It's a bit impractical for all the home care workers in the city/country to change careers. What may be more feasible is that you develop some guidelines and protocols for future and post-infestation home visits, such as bagging and quarantining personal items (purse, laptop) you bring with you when you are in their homes, not sitting on any furniture, bagging until washing all clothes you wear on the job, and maybe buying some things like shoes that you wear only on the job and keep quarantined the rest of the time. People in certain industries, such as perhaps school teachers and movers, are going to have to start thinking of these things. But I believe the issue is manageable without having to switch jobs or careers.

  8. buggyinsocal

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    Posted 5 years ago
    Mon Jul 28 2008 3:42:08
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    Has anybody written up a post about the stages of dealing with BB? No, really. Because a lot of kind people here stepped forward when I posted to the forums, and every one of y'all insisted that it really would get better and it really would seem less awful, and I totally didn't believe you guys at the time, but reading the messages people post, I can hear so strongly in their words the echoes of the state of mind I was in too.

    So, uglybug, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself or your fiancee. So much of the problem with BB is the exhaustion that comes from the sleep deprivation and the amount of work in the house that they cause.

    I completely understand your fears about the chemical that your fiancee used counteracting what the PCO did, but it sounds like it's not the end of the world from a pest treatment perspective, so that should ease your anxiety on that front.

    I also hear, though, you doing the same thing I did which was desperately try to figure out where the bugs came from. If you're a social worker, you probably know even better than I do that one of the things people do to get control over an out of control situation is try to figure out why something happened so that they can restore their sense of agency. And goodness knows BB take away any sense of agency we have. I tried to track down the particular hotel, even calling my roommates from those stays and asking them if they'd had problems. Then I started thinking back to people I encountered at work who showed all the signs that I now know come with BB and trying to figure out if I picked them up that way.

    The thing is? I don't know. I'm never going to know, certainly not with even 80% certainty.

    Ultimately, I made the decision to focus on what I could do now and what I could do in the future to limit my possible exposure and prevent a reinfestation, since I'm not going to stop traveling, even if I could.

    You've found a website with a lot of information; you can use it to go about your daily life more aware and more prepared than you were before.

  9. lieutenantdan

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    Posted 5 years ago
    Mon Jul 28 2008 10:42:06
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    He stated he was upset and paranoid. You cannot blame him for that and I do not think that the chemicals he used would do harm to the effort. I actually think that he cares because he attempted to do something about the situation in his freak out. Many people have partners that do little or nothing and even beat up on the person who is fighting the war. Many call the warrior paranoid and even in-laws get involved.
    Your visits to houses due to work efforts does mean that you have a chance of bringing bed bugs into your home. You must take precautions and I believe that you can without changing jobs. It will take some effort on your part and common sense. If you must carry bags into homes than maybe you can look into a metal bag like a Haliburton case and a metal stand for it like in the hotels so your equipment does not touch the floor. You will have to be creative on that.
    These bugs are freaking many people out and we all have made mistakes in the war including professionals. It is a hard thing to deal with and you are not alone.
    Provide research for your friend to read and see if he shows interest. Plans to get married is stressful enough let alone having to deal with a bed bug invasion on top of it all.

  10. uglybug

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    Posted 5 years ago
    Mon Jul 28 2008 20:50:30
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    I called the PCO who stated that since he only sprayed Mystic on our matress (which we covered up afterwards with matress encasements) and along the baseboards in my step-daughters room (who only comes every other weekend, and most of the time sleeps in our room) it shouldn't be a problem, however, they will come back out for a follow up inspection which is included as part of the initial spraying. Funny thing is, I have been getting bitten up for over 8 months, and we only found one live bug 2 weeks ago. It took that long. We were expecting a horrible infestation but the PCO's did not find any live bugs during their inspection. They were quite surprised too. I mean think about how many bugs can hatch and breed and breed in 8 months. I am concerned they are living in the walls, which would be horrible, and teh PCO agreed.

    As for my paranoid hubby, he has since apologized for telling me "its all in your head" and understands that it is one more stressful thing that we cannot allow to come between us in our relationship. I can believe a lot of people split up, blame each other, get into arguments over these insects. It IS emotionally draining and when you have young kids you worry about every bump, lump, red spot on them..and pray it isn't a bite. For me thats the hardest. My daughter slept the first 2 months in her carrier due to GERD, never showed any signs of a reaction, and when she moved to the bassinet in our room she began getting bites on her. This started in June/July. I think this is when I truly knew it was bedbugs, and nobody believed me. Even the local PCO didn't want to come out, as he thought it was bird mites, not bed bugs (we had a problem with bird mites in the past). The evidence was so subtle, I missed the eggs on the matress pleats, etc after inspecting everyday. And another thing for me is not freaking out when I see a piece of fuzz or something on the bed. My son was eating golden raisins, and took one to bed. Well, lets just say he fell asleep with chewed up golden raisin in his mouth...and when I found pieces on the bed in the AM I flipped out. Then I remembered when I checked on him that evening he had the raisin coming out of his mouth. I even tested it by cutting up golden raisin and drying it out over night to make sure it matched the "particles" I found on the bed. LOl. So yeah, the mental/emotional aspect is the hardest thing to deal with. Having that good support system from your significant other, husband, and even family can really help with overcoming the anxieties and frustration while dealing with an infestation...so can a good counselor...I'm going to use the EASE program at my work..


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