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I'm bitten, my boyfriend's not! We sleep in the same bed...

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  1. Jazz

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    Joined: Mar '09
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    Posted 5 years ago
    Thu Mar 5 2009 17:17:30
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    For the past month, I've spent every other night w/ my boyfriend at his place in Dupont. I would wake up with a new bite after each night I was there. He would have no bites at all and he's been living there for over 4 years now. At first I thought I was getting flea bites from when I stay at my apartment because the previous tenant had a cat. Then it occurred to me that these are not flea bites, but something else.

    I can't figure out what and why only I was being bitten and not him when we sleep in the same bed. I have not investigated his apartment, but have searched mine and haven't found anything. He is in the process of investigating his place. I am freaking out, wondering if I could have carried any of the pests from his place to mine, without finding a trace of them in my apartment ...yet...

    Fleas are easy enough to get rid of, but BB's?! Sick!

    Should I go ahead and take precautionary measures, such as washing every single piece of clothing in hot hot water and drier? My coat that's hung on a chair close enough to the carpet? Should I throw out my purse and shoes and that have sat on his carpet before? Should I spray my place down with that Food Grade Diatamaceous Earth or just hire an exterminator??

    What about my sofa and bed in my apartment, that I've already sat on and slept in after being in his place?? So far, I haven't gotten any bites while at my place. I'm just freaking out that they could have hitched a ride on my clothes, shoes, purse,coat, even my hair and landed in my home!

    And most importantly, what do I do about my boyfriend, who hasn't exterminated his place yet?! Should I stay away from him? Not hug him because the bugs might be on his clothes? Oh man this is so frustrating!! ooohh I'm itching now

  2. buggyinsocal

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    Joined: Jun '08
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    Posted 5 years ago
    Thu Mar 5 2009 17:32:37
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    Jazz,

    Take a deep breath. I know it's really hard when you first find out about bed bugs, and I know they're a crazy scary pest, but there are a few things that you absolutely can do right now to feel a little more in control.

    For starters, go read the FAQs on the website here. A lot of them answer a lot of your questions.

    If you want more personalized advice, the short version I have to offer is this:

    It's entirely possible that your boyfriend *is* getting bitten. While there's a lot we don't know for sure about bed bugs, we do know that a lot of people don't react to the bites from them. Best estimates are that about 60% of people don't react to bites. It's possible that your boyfriend is one of those 60% and you aren't, which would explain why you're getting bitten and he doesn't appear to be. If that's the case, you're both getting bitten but he's just not reacting to the bites.

    The next step would be getting your place and his place inspected by a pest control professional with experience dealing with bed bugs. If there are bugs in his place, they need to be treated by a pro. A good pro should be able to tell if you've brought hitch hikers home with you by inspecting your place.

    If your clothes are anything like mine, a lot would be ruined by washing and drying on hot. It's also a lot of work.

    You also don't want to disturb things in your place too much before an inspection, as disturbing things might make the bugs go hide in harder to find places.

    It can also be hard to tell where you've been bitten because bites can take a while to appear after you've been bitten.

    At the same time, while we all worry about spreading bugs, there are plenty of stories of people with infestations managing to somehow avoid spreading bugs at all. (I was infested and didn't know it, and in that time, I shared hotel rooms with like 5 other people and visited the homes of at least three friends. None of them ever got infested from me, even though I used the same luggage on every trip and took no precautions.)

    The FAQs on the main site also give some advice about how to avoid spreading bugs from someplace you know has them, so if you're assuming that you can't possible go visit your significant other until his infestation is cleared up, that's not necessarily true.

    If you haven't done so already, go read the FAQs because they have so very much good, helpful information in them.

  3. Emmm

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    Joined: Mar '09
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    Posted 5 years ago
    Thu Mar 5 2009 23:48:52
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    This is happening to my bf and I. He found bed bugs, I have bites, he doesn't. He found a handful of bugs, I can't find anything here. Now we're afraid to hug each other. His clothes have been treated (he thinks he done okay), and I pulled a coat out of a closet I've not used in forever, but still.


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