If you had all the money in the world, how would you treat your infestation?(27 posts)
Let's say you're Donald Trump, or a famous rapper and your MTV Crib gets an infestation of BBs. What would you do to get rid of bedbugs as soon and as surely as possible?
If you had all the money in the world, how would you treat your infestation?
LM, What a perfectly intruiging question! I'd have the whole building vikaned,I'd stay somewhere BB free of course while this was being done.I know whole buildings pesent a challenge,but I'd have all the money,right? Money sometimes can make the impossible possible.I wouldn't have to do any prep work,just make sure I left in clean ,BB free clothing!After that,I'd think about all the poor,elderly,and disabled who need help and setup a BB charity.After that,I'd lobby for stronger pesticides and LL compliance.Hopefully with the stronger stuff they ( BB's not LL's)again would be a thing of the past.Oh,that would be wonderful!Except I'd probably be out of money by the time I was through:(
Would have NYC erradicated of BEDBUGS from the Bronx to Manhattan. Erradicate bedbugs in NYC.
I think if you had that much money, you wouldn't treat your infestation - you'd run. Wasn't it Beyonce who did that with her fabulous, $12,000/month MTV penthouse crib in Manhattan? Isn't that what director Paul Thomas Anderson and the SNL chick did? I *pretended* I had all the money in the world and that's what I did. Problem is, there's kind of nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide... they're everywhere and can show up again at any time. Though those with lots of money seem to get them less frequently.
I'd fund research. Fund a few professorships here and there, a new laboratory building. The bedbug fund would be a carny call to clever Ph.D. students all over - get support for your research/teaching fellowship right heeyah!
I'd start a not-for-profit to make small grants to folks for whom purchasing large ziploc bags means they go without heat or food. It would also support teams who'd assist disabled/elderly/etc. with prep work.
I'd get litigious. I have a special loathing for landlords/management companies of multiunit buildings who deny & neglect their responsibility to eradicate bedbugs and allow the problem to spread to other units and throughout the building. I wouldn't be concerned without the actual judicial outcome. With unlimited pockets, I'd just cause them so much aggravation that it would be cheaper & easier for them to treat already!
I'd move to a single-occupant island in the Carribean. In the meantime, I'd start a Venture Capital firm that invested solely in bedbug-bashing start-ups and a foundation that funded bedbug research. I'd give interest-free micro-loans to people fighting bedbugs and support lobbying for strict legislation against landlords who don't treat bedbugs. I would insist that any landlord who did not treat bedbugs would be forced to live in the infested apartment in his/her building for a month and would be under house arrest and not allowed to leave.
Parakeets, That's a good one!Just like The Super. Have you seen it? I think that's the name of it.
Jokingly....burn it down.
I dont have all the money in the world but it would not change what I would and do, do. I check regularly and deal with it when it arises using the same methods and approaches I do with my clients.
Its not a problem of money its a problem of dealing with it efficiently and professionally.
I would put one of my personal assistants on it.
I would vikane the building and then steal they idea someone else posted about carribean island for one and a venture capital firm plus research foundation. Brilliant!
FightorFlight, I didn't know Beyonce had a bb infestation in her place and then moved because of it? Can you post the link to that if you can. Would love to read about it. I've read all the others that you mentioned. Thanks.
Uh-oh, now I'm really going to get in trouble. I can't find anything on Google about Beyonce and the BBs. I *think* it was Beyonce or if not, someone like that who I recall reading, on one of these BB sites, had a $12,000 a month penthouse downtown with bedbugs. I wasn't sure if she (or whoever it was) vacated the apt, that's why I made it a question. But when I hear something like that and hear no more about it, I think it a distinct possibility that she/whoever would leave and find another $12,000 apartment. Maya Rudolph is trying to sue, right? but I don't think she and her family are still living in that apt. Does anyone know otherwise or at all? I guess my speculation is that people with that much disposable cash might not want to go through the ordeal of living in an apt while it is treated. (If it was Beyonce, can you imagine her personal asst handing her a Ziploc of clean clothes?)
Like LieutenantDan said - they have people for that.
What, no thermal? What about a combination of thermal for the residence and vikane chamber for everything that might be harmed by the heat?
Maya Rudolph had the pricey loft in SoHo, I think that's who you're thinking of, fightorflight.
You don't have to be movie-star rich to fob your bed bug problems off on others. Upper class folks do okay too.
We've heard that well-to-do people in Manhattan go to their weekend houses in the Hamptons and make their maids live-in in their place as the "bait" while the UES apartment is treated.
I'd have my place tented and Vikane gassed. Then start a non profit orginization to help out people who are having the same problem but do not have the same resources I have to get rid of them.
Of course you all are aware that if anyone famous and/or rich had or has them would take care of it and we would never here about it.
Nice thing about being wealthy you can just do it and go on.
I like lastmeal's take on using thermal and vikane a double whammy on them.
BBcoukHome you stated "Its not a problem of money its a problem of dealing with it efficiently and professionally" I'm sorry but this does not work for most who live in a multi unit building and are on a fixed income with little help from the owner of the building (the LL) and uncooperative neighbors.
For me it's definetly a problem of money. If it wasn't I would have broken my lease vikaned my stuff and moved out of this place. Unless your a PCO dealing with it efficiently and professionally costs money. I think that's why the LL is of very little help as it costs him money.
Sorry that came out way bitchier than I meant it to.
thermal. if i had an endless supply of money, i would move the h*ll outta this place, and thermal treat everything i own in the moving truck as i left. anything that could/would be harmed by heat, perhaps i'd vikane. but honestly i'm so tired of the chemicals.
then i would start a non-profit organization that provides bb supplies to people who can't afford it (encasements, laundry tokens, large ziplocs, DE, etc), as well as information packages on bbs for those who don't have the internet access (or just for anyone who wants them). this organization would also have employees who go into people's homes and help them prepare for treatments (especially for the elderly, those who have disabilities, or even just single people who cannot move heavy furniture alone).
then, seeing as i'm theoretically rich and have lots of time on my hands, i would spend all that spare time lobbying for government provided bb control for any infestation (spraying, thermal, vikane, whatever) at no cost to the tenant, landlord, or homeowner. i would also lobby for better regulations regarding bb disclosure to potential new tenants. any suspected infestation would be investigated using a bb dog, forget all that gotta-provide-evidence-yourself sillyness.
*sigh* if only it was a perfect world...
Well, that's a no brainer for me....If I had unlimited resources, I'd probably just "accidentally" burn the place down and get all new stuff....new house, new furniture, wardrobe....you name it. Yeah, and since my cars had them too.....new cars.
Although, I do like parakeets answer as well.
First, buy a bugle and play "taps" for them, poorly, so if they have any sense of pitch, they'll be profoundly offended and emotionally uneasy.
Then I'd Vikane them while piping in a Kenny G or Fallout Boy tune just for added insult. No, I take that back, I'd HIRE Kenny G to play my "Vikane-ing Party". He wouldn't know WHY he'd just get paid. No, I wouldn't ask him to play inside, I'm not cruel!
Anyway that's my fantasy.
Oh yea, and fund research towards "green" irradication through skillful and reliable means with a %100 rate of success.
IWP - We already know the bugs don't have a heart, just an extraordinarily honed sense of threats to their survival. Therefore, they do not care about music and are thus closely aligned to the nondenominational dark forces.
I just love all these "what would I do if " answers so I gotta post my take on this question, and since this is only a fantasy and pretend I've got lots and lots of money?..I take nothing out of the building,just burn the place down, take all the LL's, catch all the creepy crawling things on this earth along with the BB's and let them all do the survivor thing on an island,see who is left after the battle..Mind you I don't have a LL but after reading the horror stories about em,that is what I would do to em..Is that too cruel?
Unlike BBparanoid, I would not resort to murder and revenge scenarios. After all, money is no object.
Personally, I would move into a specially-designed home with heaters built into the walls, ceilings and floors (which could be activated should the need for treatment ever recur).
I would also design a hot-room (where most people have a mud-room, but without the mud!) where bags and clothing could be de-conned. People could drop clothing and stuff in this sealed room and have it deconned in 1 hour. I'd need that room regularly since I would be experiencing some exposure, no doubt, due to what follows below. I would also need a solution for decon of electronic gear, but I am sure something could be worked out.
Then me and IveBeenBugged, suddenly billionaires, would run our non-profit which helps people get the best quality free or low-cost bed bug prep and treatment. The rest of my superfluous cash would make the labs of prominent bed bug specialists very attractive to young scientists, who would all throw themselves into researching solutions.
Oh, and those blessed grad students and entos who feed bed bugs on their arms would get the "danger pay" they so rightly deserve for enduring this unpleasantness.
smiles to you nobugsonme...I was just feeling very spiteful due to these problems.I am not mean or vengeful really..If I had loads of cash I certainly would not use it gathering the LL's and BB's and hauling em off to an island and I love your idea..so I would give my riches to you and encourage and fund all your ideas and with twice the riches you would have twice the results BTW, could I move in this fantastic place you would design? sounds refreshing to have heated floors
YES, funding research. somehow i missed that in my list. in fact, if i was super rich i might switch disciplines and make a career out of researching them myself. talk about having a passion for something... lol.
Thanks No worries-- I am sure everyone here entertains some pretty spiteful thoughts at some point.
I would have to have someone else do the designing, but perhaps I could start a business selling these Heated Huts(TM).
Either I'd buy a nuclear device and kill everything in Toronto.
Or, I'd fund robotics research to make robotic, Terminator-bedbugs.
( Might as well put those DARPA dollars to good use? )
Depending on how sleep deprived I am at the time. It's a coin-toss.
I'd buy a bed bug dog to have with me always.
Maybe raise bb dogs in the country and sell them to exsterminators...have them at airports sniffing suitcases before they fly.ETC...
i'd get rid of everything and start over in a new place.
Treat the old place and all the neighbors.
Hire a bunch of scientist to do reserch 24/7. test organic, non toxic stuff like that limestone.
Design some black light that detects bb.
Create some lazer that zaps them instantly. some scent detectors that smell out the bb. make some natural oils that will repel the bb. God has to have given us something to repel these with, We just have not found it.
Open a bb online store with all furniture that is bb avoidable, hard suface stuff, maybe some hard rubber that is comfy and inpentrable.... bed covers...hard suitcases... sealants. ziplocks, all things we need now.
Design plastic air tight hard containers.
BUY stock in zip lock.
Educate the public. Lobby for action.
Design CITY trucks that freeze or burn pick up people bb infected stuff that they are littering the sidewalks with and scattering these creatures.
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