I SHARE MY PARANOIA SO THAT YOU MAY LAUGH DESPITE THE DARKNESS(7 posts)
i mentioned in my one other post that my friend is the one with bed bugs, but he sleeps at my place a lot, and i found the live few we saw together at his place- so I have become the paranoid one, where he's covered in bites and remains the bottle it all up, stoic one... which is probably a blessing.
here are my recent hallucinations and crazy compulsions:
(enjoy, with a light heart, especially if you're going through the same thing or worse)
shortly after finishing the last of a chocolate cake (i tend to eat sweets when i'm upset) i did a double-take in regards to a crumb on the table next to my laptop, where i had been researching bed bugs ALL DAY. after thorough inspection of the crumb it was deemed to be, in fact, a crumb of chocolate cake.
...best part about this is that i KNOW what they look like, because my friend and i found live ones in his apt- but i still react to every last particle i see in my presence.
i bought not one, but two kinds of magnifying glasses today, to better inspect bits of things and to assist my poor friend with his inspection. why two? i don't know.
upon feeling yet ANOTHER phantom bug crawling on my neck, i froze, tilting my head accordingly and carefully walked to a mirror- only to find my neck. my long hair being the culprit, which i secretly knew.
i have checked my bed at least forty times in the past few days, for signs of bugs, or bugs themselves. (this is sad, since my friend has them so far, not me, so i express deep sympathy to those who indeed find bugs in their beds, but my words are here only to try and make you laugh during a dark time) but in those forty times, i have made these weird efforts to sneak up on the hiding bugs by turning over the covers in a dramatic fashion- as if to silently say "AH-HA! Show yourself, Fiend!"...and i didn't even realize i was being so silly till i started to write this post. i'm sure i'll check my bed another five times before bedtime.
i now have extensive knowledge regarding every skin flake, pimple scab, and natural (bug molt colored) cat litter particle that ends up in my bed- and no matter how sure i am of their identity, i still poke them, prod them, try to smush them, etc....and i can only thank the gods that i now have my trusty magnifying glass(es). at least i'll stop giving myself headaches trying to see better than human eyes can see.
i've worried myself into having a few hives on separate occasions, when obsessing about bbugs. (i know they're hives cause they went away within minutes, and i've had hives before)
i curse the regrowth of hair on my legs cause the occasional prickly sensation drives me to lift my pants legs to catch unknowing bbugs.
i can't even have normal conversations with my poor friend half the time, cause i'm too busy staring at his shirt collar, or sleeves waiting to spot a bug.
we've incorporated into our romantic routine that he must get completely naked as soon as he gets through my front door. (granted the puts clothes in bag and shoes outside part is kind of a mood killer)
when i was buying 2 steamers, pet hair tape rollers, magnifying glasses and garbage bags at the pharmacy this evening, i was wondering if the girl at the register knew why.
finally- at the hardware store tonight (buying caulk for the aftermath, and various related goods) a couple walked past me, and the woman had a 3D spot on the back of her coat, which was the right size, rough shape, and color of a bbug!! i froze in horror!! my impulse was to walk right up to it and inspect, but being sane(still), i held back. my next thought was to follow them down the isle to get a closer look. i decided not to do that cause i knew there was no way to do that and get close enough to see without seeming like a nut. i resigned to staring at it as they walked away, to see if it moved at all, from it's original location. it didn't, but i'm never gonna be convinced.
SIGH. ya know- for you PCO's out there, if i were you, i'd buddy up with a counselor versed in bbugs, and offer counseling to bbug victims as part of a package deal. ha ha
you'd make a killing, and probably benefit yourselves as well as your clients, cause they'll be a little more relaxed when you're working with them.
good night folks. i'm signing off.
Great stuff! It is sad that so many of us can relate! I look forward to the day when every piece of lint does not make me grab my magnifying glass.
A few months ago I wrote a section for my treatment manual on coping with the psychological aspects of an infestation I have also referred a few people to a good councillor I know in London after prolonged exposure.
Getting back to the humour though I think the oddest one I have had to deal with was a 350 mile drive to inspect and identify a fragment of a chocolate biscuit. Strangest thing is that another pest controller had confirmed it as a suspect bed bug a week or so earlier. I would like to say that the occupant was relieved but the next question was "are you 100% sure they do not live in the detached 20 feet away and travel across at night to bite me". I left soon after.
They can be a stress to have and even not to have which is why facts and evidence are your best weapons in this battle.
Bed Bugs Limited
> i've worried myself into having a few hives on separate occasions, when obsessing about bbugs. (i know they're hives cause they went away within minutes, and i've had hives before)
Don't want to jinx myself, but pretty sure my bugs have been gone for more than a year. Nonetheless, here in Colorado, I continue to get these, what are they? Bug casings, shed skins? They all seem to have blood in them and are, like, seahorse shaped or with comet-like tails. I've never been able to identify them. They come in all sizes, from about 1-5 mm or fractions of an inch up until 1/8, maybe 1/4. Geez, what the freak are they??! 99% sure they're not BBs (no other symptoms and don't look like live BBs or casings I saw before). Anyway, this is relevant to the paranoia theme.
If you share a picture with us maybe we can help identify what they are. If you cant take a picture send a few samples through to either an entomologist or myself and I will take pictures and share with everyone.
Hmph. I guess I will have to get off my lazy butt and do that. Maybe another analogy/simile won't help - look like commas, or double-tailed commas? Okay, I'll put it on my ToDo list and get back to you. If the digital camera doesn't do a good job, I guess I will send the little dead buggers.
Thanks for the smiles, Nightmare. That's why this forum is so great. We do mostly share the same psychosis! Lint, crumbs, staring at lint on others. Only we can really relate. I was just thinking today, that while others think hairy legs are gross, so do bed bugs. I was speculating that perhaps women get more bits cause we tend mostly to be less hairy. Someday I hope to look back at this and, no, when it's done done, I don't want to think about it anymore, but i wonder if that will ever be possible.
Yours in the trauma dome.
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