I need to know that there is an end...please post positive, please, please.(27 posts)
Dear Bed bugs,
You need to leave. You have scared us, intimidated us and ignited
our inner switch for dread. I don’t know who you are and you don’t know me-
but I will crush your existence into oblivion. You harbored up in the next door
neighbors apt. for what has been told to me as months. You fed off of the
transient bodies that have come and gone, mostly from India, and you have
settled yourselves in the building. Then you had a choice, the choice was to stay
or spread, and you spread. It wasn’t enough to own one dwelling, you had to
have total domination didn’t you? So you were faced with another choice, the
clean apt. of three girls living in harmony or a 33 year hoarder who has been
gathering items off of the street. Because you are malicious, you chose both. But
here lies the caveat You chose to creep in to a hoarder and thus the apt. cannot
be cleaned enough to eradicate your nasty little behinds. And here we wait in a
holding pattern. Us showering and rolling in poison and you, waiting for night to
laugh in our sugar plum faces.
How dare you? I did nothing. We did nothing. I live in
peace and you came for blood. If I had invited you through any kind of neglect,
then we can talk, but I didn’t and you just came. I am close to hanging my
head low and admitting total defeat.
My sleep, my sense of calm and my
reactions to everything in my life have suddenly become quite out of control.
Here in this apt. we hate you, we hate you so much.
Saying I am close to defeat should not give you any hope of winning you
awful creatures. When we humans are juuust about to feel the sting of defeat
this is when the real teeth get sharpened and shined. We will gnarl, snap and
gain small moments of defeat that will sprout more courage, this is our way. We
will kill you. We will barrier this apt. so that you cannot even think of having a
scouting picnic. We will make it impossible for your lives to continue here in our
place of tranquility; in our beloved home.
And mainly, you will not break my spirit. I am human, I have sent people
to the moon, I have figured out the codes of DNA…We can do this. I will fight to
regain balance and a lower to a more even heartbeat. I will focus on perspective
and rationality. I will be strong for my friends instead of leaning on everybody in
exasperation. I will pay back my debts incurred from panic that you caused.
You are annoying and need to leave. Go find a nice cow somewhere with
gallons of the good stuff running through its veins. You can sit there forever, I
Just leave us alone.
i just saw this note pushed under my front door. It was addressed to you but delivered to me by mistake. The note says:
dear Hobbs and all other humans on bedbugger:
We bed bugs had a meeting which ended just a few minutes ago and we discussed the fact that this website, (and people like Hobbs and NoBugs who are adopting a warlike stance with respect to our very ability to survive), is truly having an impact on our communities and is making it much more difficult for us to live, find food and reproduce. It's obvious how much you all hate us. We never felt that way about you. We loved you very much and appreciated all the "juice" you made available to us. We didn't realize how much we were disturbing you. We didn't know we were making some of you nearly lose your minds. We've come to a decision. We're leaving you guys...but we are not promising that we'll go away altogether. We also want to live, you know? So, for the time being, (and as long as you keep doing what you're doing to discourage our visits to your homes and work places), we'll go to live with and on other humans. There are some humans that seem to be able to live with us. So we're out of here and good riddance...(literally).
Bernard BB, President
The International Society for the Survival and Advancement of BedBugs
By the way Hobbes...sorry about the mistyping of your name.
Also, i wanted to give you some good news. As of today i have 43 days without any bed bug sitings and without any bites or anything...
i'm sleeping through the night.
i just had an itch on my back but did not have to go running to the mirror to see if it was a bite (that's a great advancement)
i don't wake up during the night to check my sheets anymore. (But i do a thorough inspection each day when i make the bed and i do change the sheets every 3 or 4 days and do complete inspection of the sheets, mattrass, flooring, etc. at that time.
when i get up during the night to go to the bathroom, i don't have to turn on the lights when returning to bed to take a quick review of the sheets and pillows.
i am more educated about bbs now than i was before
i am more educated about carpet beetles and larvae than i was before
i am more educated about bird mites than i was before
i am more educated about centipedes than i was before
i have a packtite that gives me peace of mind.
i have learned that i do not need so many, and that i can live with fewer, material possessions.
I'm sure there are other positive things that has come out of this experience, but these are the few that come to mind at this time.
Hang in there!
The BB's are SO well spoken! Who would have thought?
Hilarious, Deedle. Hope it brought Hobbes a smile.
hobbes, This will end with hard work and diligence. I promise you.
I loved both Hobbes and Deedles posts.
Get educated, be consistent and diligent, don't give up and don't slack. We will ALL BE FINE!!!
great pieces of writing
Loved it! Can't wait to be at 43 days - Hope springs eternal -
Dearest deedle, yes, I said dearest. Sometimes you read notes that actually make you feel better and stronger, I thank you for this for you have done just that. I am also proud of you. I am waiting for the day when I don't check every itchy thing with a calm exterior, but terrified interior. I am waiting for the day when I can fall nicely asleep in my cozy bed.
I want my life back.
I am a sitting duck right now. They are cleaning out hoarders apt. If you have ever seen the show on TLC this is beyond that. Oh NYC, interesting people live in these little squares we call apartments.
The building is spraying its bungs out. I would take a shower in it if they would let me.
Rage is better than hopelessness. Action is better than hopelessness. And one day, ONE DAY maybe everybody on this blog site can meet in central park for a big F-YOU bug party and we can serve DDT cocktails.
aw shucks guys...
as far as counting the days goes...it sort of feels like when i stopped smoking...at the beginning it was one minute at a time..then one hour at a time...one day at a time...and that's where i am not with the BBs....
hobbes - 6 minutes ago » </cite/.
Rage is better than hopelessness. Action is better than hopelessness. And one day, ONE DAY maybe everybody on this blog site can meet in central park for a big F-YOU bug party and we can serve DDT cocktails.
Definitely..i agree that rage is better than hopelessness. Hopelessness is the WORST thing of all.
You'll get to sleep peacefully again. i'm enjoying the feeling of not being afraid to close my eyes and sleep in my bed...which, i might add, is the most comfy bed in the whole freakin' world...
If i were not an agoraphobe i'd meet up with you in Central Park. ...but i hate all the people being around...makes me nervous just to think of all those people milling about, skating around, walking-- Yeeechhhkk....too many people...i avoid Manhattan like the plague. i only rush in downtown to court and then back over the bb (that's brooklyn bridge!!) to queens as fast as my little car Patricia can carry me.
glad you got something positive out of the post!
hobbes - 20 minutes ago »
If you have ever seen the show on TLC this is beyond that.
Yes..i have seen that show...it's wonderful/horrible. how do those people live like that? Oh My Goodnessss.....it makes me crazy to watch it but i can't turn away! I also love that show about obsessive compulsives....
I was going to just let this go, but I find that I just can't.
Bed bugs are a pest of exposure. If you're exposed to them, you run the risk of developing an infestation in your residence.
Having multiple people living in an apartment next door is in no more of a risk factor for bed bugs than is having a single neighbor in the two bedroom unit if the single person travels regularly; the country of origin of your neighbors is not relevant to the bed bug risk either. Ironically, I was likely infested with bed bugs from a hotel in a much whiter community in southern California than the one I actually live in.
Statements that suggest that people from countries that are not the United States are more likely, somehow, to get or bring in bed bugs are great examples of dog-whistle racism. That is to say, your post doesn't say anything overtly racist; instead, the post says something that will register as racist to people who think racist thoughts while appearing not to be an overtly racist statement on the surface. You, of course, are welcome to say and believe anything you want to say and believe, but I am also entitled to point out when people say racist things--even if such statements were not meant that way.
If we really want to get public policy that's designed to eliminate bed bugs overall, we'll probably get there faster if we avoid scapegoating people based on nationality, ethnicity, and/or social class.
i don't want to hijack this thread but i would like to respond to Buggyinsocal's post.
In the original post the OP said in her open letter directed to the bbs in her building that:
" . . .You harbored up in the next door neighbors apt. for what has been told to me as months. You fed off of the transient bodies that have come and gone, mostly from India, and you have settled yourselves in the building. . ."
BuggyinSocal registered her concern that:
". . .the country of origin of your neighbors is not relevant to the bed bug risk either.. ." and that " . . .Statements that suggest that people from countries that are not the United States are more likely, somehow, to get or bring in bed bugs are great examples of dog-whistle racism. That is to say, your post doesn't say anything overtly racist; instead, the post says something that will register as racist to people who think racist thoughts while appearing not to be an overtly racist statement on the surface.. ."
Here's what i want to say and i really am not looking to start a major back and forth on this. I'm going to try to say this in the gentlest way i can.
In my opinion BuggyinSocal's reaction the OP's reference to people being from India smacks of a type of racism. Here's why i say that: While we know that there are many religions represented in India, I understand that approximately 80% of Indians are of the Hindu religion. (of course there are Muslims and Christians, Jains, Buddhists and Sikhs too as well living -- as well as some others - in India). Let's concentrate on the majority religious group, the Hindus who, from my admittedly limited understanding, believe in the rebirth or reincarnation of the soul and that it may come back in a human body, an animal body or even as a plant. So i'm thinking that perhaps a person who adheres to this belief may not want to kill a bug if it is avoidable so as to respect their belief that perhaps the animal may contain the soul of someone who is moving through these various reincarnations.
(By the way, i think we'll all agree that none of us has the ultimate knowledge to declare for all humanity what actually happens to our "souls" after this body we move around it stops to function - and i want to suggest that being raised from the dead on the day of judgment and going to Heaven or Hell can be seen as a type of rebirth or reincarnation as well).
It's interesting that you admit: " . . . That is to say, your post doesn't say anything overtly racist; instead, the post says something that will register as racist to people who think racist thoughts while appearing not to be an overtly racist statement on the surface.. ." (emphasis added)
Funny, i didn't even pick up the racism you insist resides in the OP's post -- i just assumed she was referring to the fact that probably those folks were not killing bugs because of their probable religious convictions. I note that you think that only those people who think racist thoughts will recognize that ugly emotion under the surface of what the OP wrote. What does that say about you? I'm just saying...
We live in a country where we have so many different types of people living together. It's wonderful. And i think we should be evolved to a point so that we are able to celebrate and note those differences and refer to the race, religion or original birth place or even the sexual orientation or preference of a person in our speech or in our writing if it is germain to a point one is trying to make without having to fear being accused of being racist by a person who certainly is not a judge of the world about what is racism. You stated: " . . . but I am also entitled to point out when people say racist things. . ."
Really, the most you can really say is that in your opinion the statement of the OP seemed to you to be racist. Please do, however, keep an open mind to consider that you might just be wrong in your opinion.
Gosh, you might have asked the OP why she thought that the reference to the people being from India was important to make her point. Perhaps she would have offered an explanation for that and then you could have been able to avoid calling what the OP wrote "racist" since you really can't be sure of that. That's a pretty miserable charge to make against someone's writing.
Hello-- Sorry Buggy-- but I really think that you should start your own thread. You obviously care deeply about this subject and it IS worth talking about. However, it does not matter how you say things, when you direct these sorts of comments at an individual, it is always going to function as an accusation (for the reasons that I stated in my own thread) and is thus potentially hurtful. Also, you seem rather hell bent on having this argument with someone (perhaps anyone)-- and I do not think that this approach really suits what you are trying to accomplish. You come off sounding pedantic and condescending-- like you have some grasp of the obvious that others do not have. Also, I still think that you are overlooking your own ingrained assumptions (something which absolutely has me confused).
Another problem is that bed bugs are an emotionally charged subject. People feel ostracised, isolated, and violated. This young woman is obviously experiencing emotional pain. While I agree that there may be some mild implication that the bugs were somehow associated with her neighbors being Indian-- it does not seem implicit or intentional. It is certainly not a strong enough statement to warrent a scolding-- however, mild. Clearly, she needs to be heard and any attempts to derail the thread to meet some sort of personal agenda could further alienate this person-- who is obviously suffering anyway. Why bother to do this when you can start your own conversation? She is obviously a young college aged woman and thus is still challenging her own assumptions about people and places. I say wish her well and let her be. She needs and deserves compassionate support-- not censorship.
Also, please consider that your response might outweigh the initial offense-- It might actually be more ethnocentric to assume that this is what this young woman said and meant than to simply give her the benefit of the doubt-- particulalry when you are going about things in a random manner (you went after me first). Bed Bugs are embarassing enough--- why embarass people further by polcing their political correctness and correcting their rhetoric? Why not give them the gift of hearing them out without judgement?
p.s. I was insulted by the reference to the 33 year old hoarder-- hummmmm.... maybe because I am a 33 year old hoarder.... Just trying to lighten things up a bit..... Deedle-- you are hilarious. You have brightened up my week too.
I cannot speak to what is going on in your mind.
However, I can tell you that in the more than two years I've been on the boards here, I've had plenty of time to read posts here that engage in dog whistle racism.
The original post is replete with dog whistle racism.
Saying that here is what's important.
I don't like talking about the racist things that people say. It makes me angry, it makes me hurt, it makes me frustrated that it's 2010 and I'm still having to talk through Racist Things People Said 101 with people who, frankly, ought to be old enough to know better.
I talk about it because if I let racist comments stand unchallenged, I'm running the risk of other people thinking that I'm okay with it when other people say insidiously racist things.
I'm not okay with that.
Starting another thread lets the original comment stand unchallenged, and I'm afraid that if I do that some POC will come here, see that post, and feel like they're not welcome. I'm not okay with that.
Your response here contains several classic instances of derailing techniques used frequently by people who want to shift tough conversations about race onto other issues as as to avoid having to deal with the tough stuff.
I find this essay to be a pretty good starting place for thinking about what derailing is and how to avoid it.
Your post also says:
We live in a country where we have so many different types of people living together. It's wonderful. And i think we should be evolved to a point so that we are able to celebrate and note those differences and refer to the race, religion or original birth place or even the sexual orientation or preference of a person in our speech or in our writing if it is germain to a point one is trying to make without having to fear being accused of being racist by a person who certainly is not a judge of the world about what is racism.
That paragraph right there is a perfect example of colorblind ideology. (With a side of other vectors of marginalization thrown in.)
While many people believe that a society in which we don't see differences between people on the basis of race, ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, gender, age, ability, and so forth is the ultimate goal--and while many people believe that we're already there, I don't believe any of that. I don't believe any of that because I know plenty of oppressions still exist. I know that because me and my friends run up against them all the time. Strangely enough, it seems that some of the best research out there confirms that knowledge.
Your post says that calling something someone said racist is " a pretty miserable charge to make against someone's writing." It's not. It's a descriptive statement of fact.
In addition, I can be absolutely certain when a text is racist because a text is racist whether it's intended to be that way or not.
Again, if you really want to learn more about conversations about race, I strongly recommend this post and the posts it links to.
Telling someone that that thing that they said was racist is not censorship. As I stated in my response to you, in the United States, we have freedom of speech with very few limitations.
However, freedoms come with responsibilities.
If a person says something racist, he or she must take responsibility for those statements.
In your response here you said:
Bed Bugs are embarassing enough--- why embarass people further by polcing their political correctness and correcting their rhetoric? Why not give them the gift of hearing them out without judgement?
First, bed bugs don't need to be embarrassing. I'm not embarrassed about having had bed bugs. I tell plenty of people that I had them, and I don't feel any shame about that. Bed bugs are a pest of exposure. I got exposed before I knew they existed; I got an infestation.
Since then, I've educated myself about them, and I take reasonable steps to live the life I want to live--complete with frequent travel--and protect myself as best I can from a future infestation.
Secondly, evoking the specter of so-called political correctness in conversations about forms of oppression is a derailing technique of the highest order. If you want to have a productive conversation about a topic related to oppression with someone who considers herself an activist on that subject, calling the topic political correctness might not be a particularly effective move.
If you actually care to know how I feel about the use of the word because you're actually interested in having a substantial conversation with me--as opposed to just getting me to apologize any more for the mistakes that I have after looking at what I did acknowledged I made and apologized for (something I should point out that no post from you has seemed to be willing to do in response to me)--I would suggest that you take a look atthis post for a pretty clear explanation of the reasons that it's a problematic term.
Third, this post you've made seems to me to suggest that you still see the description of a statement as racist as something that is meant as an insult, an attack, or a way to hurt someone.
I don't see it that way; none of the people I generally have conversations about race with see it that way.
When someone takes the time to tell me that that thing I just said was racist, I see that as being just like your best friend leaning over to whisper to you that your skirt is currently tucked in your underwear and as a result, you've been accidentally showing your ass to the whole world.
I mean, look, in that first horrible moment when your friend tells you that your skirt is tucked in your undies, you're kind of hurt because your friend just revealed something that you didn't want to know.
But you'd certainly rather take that temporary pain mere seconds after you walk out of the stall than to walk around all day clear across the lobby of your workplace--showing your ass to the world--than have your friend not tell you, right?
So when we say racist things--especially when we say them without realizing we've done it--real friends step in and tell us that we've just shown our ass so that we don't show it again or for longer.
I cannot speak to what goes through other peoples' minds when they hear someone say "Hey, that thing you said is racist."
I can say that like most other white people, my gut instinct is to react from a place of defensiveness and pain. But I've worked hard for a lot of years to remember to follow guidelines like these when it happens.
And I evaluate how willing I am to talk to another person about the subject based on how closely he or she seems to follow similar guidelines when I take the time to say, oops, hey, you know how you came in through the rain on the way in to work today? Well, I just thought I should tell you that your mascara has run down your face, and you might want to wipe that off before you go out in public and make a fool of yourself.
I apologized in your post for confusing your post with this one. Looking back, I suspect it's the icons. Your icon here is an inverse of this person's icon.
I'm not going to apologize more than three times for something I did wrong when you have never acknowledged that apology in any way.
The very effective derailing going on here and the appropriation of terms that get twisted to make your statements look like the victim when I'm not trying to attack anyone--just point out that someone's mascara has run--are enough for me. Unless people want to have a productive conversation, I'm not going to keep going in circles.
But I'm also going to continue to point out any post that I see that is engaging in dog whistle racism wherever it appears online. At least, when I have the time to do so. As it is now, I've got to go get ready for a meeting at work.
I get paid really, really, really well to argue for a living.
Although there's certainly alot to respond to in your post, it's not a good investment of my time and energy to draft an in-depth and point-by-point reply to your last submission; so, i won't.
I'll just say this: Peace
Buggy-- Please get over it and quit apologizing- particularly when you are apologizing only to make a point. Also, if you can point out where my rhetoric needs work, than I am certainly welcome to point out flaws in your rhetoric-- or in your guidelines (which are rather problematic in my opinion). Why not try to let such emotions as sincerity, generosity, compassion and understanding guide you through such interactions??? My advice-- ditch the guidelines-- they make you come off as being fake, hypocritical and pedantic. Also, if you are constantly gleaning people's posts for percieved racism-- than of course you are going to spend a majority of your time angry and arguing with people about it. I am not saying that racism does not exist (indeed, it does and is profoundly disturbing)-- but you may be doing more harm than good by targeting people who do not deserve to be targeted.
Anyway, I am leaving it at that because really I am quite annoyed and need to get back to my bug wars.
Also, I am not ashamed of my bugs-- I posted it on Facebook even. However, I would never assume that someone else is feeling the same way that I am feeling. Indeed, since I posted I am now ostracised by everyone-- including my own mother. Please understand, that regardless of how you feel about it-- it is a fairly sensitive topic for many OTHER people. Personally, I find mascara running down my face to be less embarassing than having bed bugs.... (of course guys might get embarassed to have mascara running down their faces).
Deedle-- You get paid to argue? Gee, I usually end up volunteering....... I am now charging a buck fifty for this post! Incidentally, I found the source of my bugs... A phone jack!!! To think-- I went wireless years ago.
Hunt, Did you find a nest in the phone jack? Did you unscrew it from the wall to see if there is more?
Did you... did you find BBBinladen yet?
I set up survellance..... I used my darkroom light and set my alarm clock to go off at 2:00.... I also taped balloons to my wall to help inspire them. Shure enough-- those little monsters started creeping out at about 3:30....
I have literally torn my entire apartment apart. Boxes-- Bags -- everything is strewn all over the place. It looks like a complete disaster area.
As for BBB-- I have called in back-up- The exterminator is coming Friday....
Now I'm really intrigued about the balloon trick. How does that work?
I filled balloons with air and Diatamaceous Earth (making sure not to inhale the stuff while inflating the balloons). I scattered them accross the floor. Several of the balloons popped when BB attacked them. I do not know how helpful this was... but it was amusing and made me feel better.
Incidentally, I must have done a good job with bug removal... The exterminator only found one.... (which he fealt would have quickly been destroyed by one of my bombs)....
I can confidently say that bed bug bin laden is no more....
OK, my brain is starting to work on this. Combine this with the idea of Deedle's blood bags. Hmmm...
Wow, you guys sure like to go back and forth; it is a relief to see that rational thought is a sub-reaction to the whole bed bug problem.
I like to debate; always have; but I am not touching that subject! Well, just one little touch: I can relate to her as here in OH, we get a lot of Mexican's that house like 10 to a unit, but not to say anything about Mexican's whatsoever. It just is what it is. I also know many Mexicans in our community that are active and contributing members to our society. And it is just a fact that the bugs like cluster's of people.
I was wondering how long people remain on this sight in general. I perhaps may be bug free; perhaps not at this time: but given the rapid increase of the pests; I will never live again without inspecting every new or old purchase and also, I feel I can live with a lot less. I feel that it is my debt to say on here in my spare time to help new people whom are newly FREAKING OUT through the beginning stages, as some of you have been so helpful in just replying to a pm or my post; when I do feel like I live in a stage of isolation. I too, do not care who knows that I have them, they are a bug, not leprosy!
And the more people know, the more they might say to themselves.. "hmm wonder when the last time I looked at my mattress up close?".
We all will get through it! I want the general population (those that have not had there own nightmare with these bb's) to be more informed and proactive about bb's unfortunate return to our society. My own sister; who is 3 years older than i was like "THEY EXIST?!!!! " I want to thank all of you that have helped me, and I am sure will do in the future, if needed.
Apparently, guy in 4 unit that originated with a massive infestation, has had the PCO's come in and treat separately; fine by me! What I do know is that this man is incapable of mentally grasping the ideas needed to proactively get rid of the infestation, as PCO's in of them selves, out here in the hillbilly areas, well; it just wont work, and most likely I will be re infested. He is not doing anything aside from getting sprayed with chemicals, and that is the last thing that man needs with his delusional states of mind resulting from his particular psychosis. So I do know that I will be battling these for the rest of my life.
In all likely hood, my LL will evict him once this place is declared BB free if there is a recurrence. He is not doing any cleaning. And out the door he goes to a nice quite place with a view. Fine by me. If it doesn't stop soon I will be needing a place with a "nice, quite view". lol.
As I will not give in to total hysteria as I did in the beginning about 1 month ago come Monday, hyper-vigilance is high on my agenda. I am now armed with knowledge and a group of people that understand like no other on this earth. Thank you, all. Uhlizza
By the way, Hobbes, it will get better. You guys do what you have learned to do from this site and others; perhaps a chat with the LL or the other renter whom is a "Horder" may help rest your mind, as that person perhaps may be liable for damages for hording if something is done about it. There might be a lawyer on this thread that may know better... doesn't hurt to put that question out there, as the horder may be a reccuring threat to any peace for an un-infested environment, one which we all would like to call home, our place to sleep in peace, to go away from the trials and tribulations of the world.
From what I understand, at least in OH, if there are moneys exchanged, (you giving LL rent) he has an obligation to provide you with reasonable living conditions. If he does not then, perhaps (I am an artist not a lawyer) you may have action to take against the LL or the Horder. as I said, there may be a lawyer on this sight that will see this and be able to pm you without revealing his profession. Uhizza
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