Family Life and Hoildays(11 posts)
I MAY finally be rid of these bugs though I feel it's much too early to tell for sure.
I feel that families with any age children whether crawling babies, or school age are MOST vulnerable to this right now. I look a Libraries...unsafe. The kiddy ride outside the store...unsafe. The merry go round at the mall...unsafe. JCPenny Photo studio...unsafe. I feel my life as I once new it is gone forever. (okay maybe 7-10 yrs but I cannot stop my children from growing) I understand that not everyone has bed bugs. WHat I can not get thru my thick scull is that the two only friends I have, and few family members have a very high likelihood of having them because of exposure to us when we had them and didn't know it.
I know I must take risks in order to get on with life. I pray to God that I don't still have them. I'm told I must take very small baby steps. With children, I am forced to take some steps right now that I know I'm not ready for, but I need to for their sake.
Halloween is in a few days........very scary. Very Very scary indeed. For two reasons.
One of the two obsticles I find is possible some how because the risks are lower.
Oldest (3yrs) is very much looking forward to that big day. I planned to take everyone treating..babies in a wagon I bought. My concern is of course bringing bugs back into the house. Trick or treating...I know this sounds soo stupid but I fear that the candy that comes home may have a damn bug in it or some of the kids that she may be in contact with may have bugs on them. I cannot let them live in a bubble but I don't know what measures I need to take to aviod bed bugs, or should I just say screw it and not worry?
Second. My best, pretty much only friend and Godmother to my kids is throwing her annual Halloween Party this Friday. We used to exchange baby clothes, swings and such. In fact, about two months before I new of our infestation is when I gave her back her baby swing that I borrowed. SHe knows all we went thru. SHe said she checked her bed. But I'm sure she didn't check it enough and I know she still once in a while goes to consignments shops and such, like I used to in the past. SHe got really mad at me because she got this dress for her costume and ruined it because she washed, on vigorous cycle, hot and dried on hot...because of me and me going on about how to keep yourself safe. If she doens't have them, great...but I know chances are pretty darn good that she may.
How can I bring me, my crawling kids into her home? I just got the invitation today and the party is this Friday. I don't want to tell my daughter for she loves my friends kids dearly and haven't seen them in about 5 months now. I thought about just me going...but still I don't think I can...risk is too high? or I'm just not ready for it?
Either way, it's chancing bringing the bugs back here and putting my family thru all this again. I myself don't think I could handle it. I don't even feel safe that they are gone from my own home yet. I fear even bringing the cordless phone from the bedroom into other rooms for crying out loud.
THen there's another part of me that says just screw it and go, take no percautions because we're most likely to get them again anyway. THe epidemic is growing soo fast. Kids, schools, trips, libraries...book bags crammed in closets with coats, it's inevitable.
Obviously I'm severly hypervigilant and definately have Complex PTSD. I have called my therapist on this but my apt isn't until Saturday. I wanted to do a phone session, but she would only do a session in her outer office. (a room next to that darn wicker chair I used to sit in.) Stupid? Possible I brought them there too in the past?
Well, sorry to unload.(tears) but I need to vent. Thanks.
I feel for all the anxiety you are going through. You are being bombarded with so much.
Candy? I'd vote for Halloween candy. I think with all the emphasis on safety of Halloween, ALL candy your kids get should be pre-wrapped by the manufacturer or thrown out. I would put have the kids each put their Halloween candy into a large ziplock bag and have them re-seal their bag up each time they take out a piece of candy. Bedbugs are not attracted to food like roaches and ants are. Most people nowadays buy sealed Halloween candy that comes in larger sealed bags and they wait to open the larger bags until Halloween night (to avoid eating the candy before they give it out). So any exposure of candy to bedbugs would be extremely unlikely.
As for the therapist, I hope you can try to go to the session with her. If you go to the appointment and you are very anxious, the therapist will be able to directly help you with the anxiety--and she can see first-hand what an exhausting ordeal this is for you. You'll probably feel better without the whicker chair. Maybe you can get folding chairs and put them in a meeting room or something. Maybe you can sit on a secretarial chair or a side table or an inverted waistbasket. I think its important that your therapist sees what you are feeling and going through to help you the most.
This is a good place to vent. Even putting fears into words helps.
Yes it certainly does. I don't want to put fear in anyone else in the process though. I do want ot stress that not everyone's experience was as bad as mine was. I am getting thru it but it's gonna be a while (mentally) It would be alot easier without so many others to worry about.
I go through soo many emotions on a daily basis it's incredible. I wish I had the power to sue the government for what my family has gone thru for so long, for what my children have missed out developmently their first year of life because of this. And for who knows what now after.
paula, this is so worrying, and i share your trepidation...
have been trying to tackle these issues myself...my son has decided not to trick or treat this year because he believes a costume cannot be kept bedbug proof in our house, and he would be going up to people's doors and dropping bugs off on the mats of everyone's houses...and while i appreciate his level of social conciousness, i question the logic...a purchased costume stored in a ziploc before wearing would be no different than wearing any other clean clothes stored in ziploc...
so, these are some thoughts i've had regarding halloween...
i'm not sure bugs would go into bags of candy purchased from the store...my feeling is that anybody who bought candy way in advance of the holiday has probably already eaten it and had to buy more...not sure it would be 'sitting around' too long...my feeling too, is that the candy is sealed and people will generally try to avoid 'temptation' by not opening the bags till they 'had' too...and if they open and put it into a bowl, would the bugs be likely to get into the bowl?...and the bowl would most likely be near the door...i'd imagine that if it's sitting on the couch with the people, it's being eaten...and most will try not to do that...these are things i generally would do anyway... and, given the age of your kids, they're not in it for the big 'haul', so you won't be coming home with too much candy, and you're going to be right there at the door with them and really able to control the amount of contact with others they have...so i think you can safely go trick or treating, and have a grand time as a family!...
party at your friends house is more worrysome...but i have to believe that since you've started this ordeal, if your friend would have contracted them when you didn't know...some sort of evidence would have presented itself to her by now...how can you have gone threw all of this and your friend remained completely unaware and oblivious on all conscious levels?...not sure that's possible...however, saying that doesn't reduce your anxiety...doesn't do it for me either...but you have to decide if it's just too much and somehow be at peace...
can you possibly walk to your friends house?...thereby reducing the possibility of infesting your car again?...would it put your mind at ease to do two different costumes, or duplicates?...one for her party, one for halloween night...both of which can be 'lost' afterwards...attention spans are short at this age...
i have to believe that if the DE is down, and should offer you some protection...disrobe when you come in the door...if you get a bug they'll come looking for you and walk through it, yes?...why would they just hang out by the door you came in, when you're asleep upstairs and emitting co2?...
your experience has unnerved me for sure...i go to the theatre all the time...i'll never have the means or health to travel, and this is how i 'see the world'...bit pathetic i know...but there's just got to be some way to take precautions, and have trust that everything in your power has been done to mititgate the risks of reinfestation, and for it to actually work...but i'm afraid without real solid evidence that what we do actually does work, we'll always be living with doubt and fear...
just my thoughts...whatever you decide, do be sure to enjoy your kids...
PoorBugger. thanks. It dies actually help what you said. I feel a little better about Halloween with the children. I hate the fact I must bring them in the house in those costumes, but I will throw them in the dryer right away.
As for myself with the party. I'll really miss it I think. the risk isn't worth it. SHe'll hate me for a while, but she'll just have to understand. She lives about 35 min away.. I really need to learn how to function in my home again first.
Just now I spilled some sauce on the kitchen floor and I fear just putting the paper towel inthe garbage w/o putting it in a plastic bag first. :/
Thanks for the support. It's good hear from people.
Parakeets and Poorbugger. Thanks again. Trick or treating is a must do and am looking forward to it. I look forward to seeingthe smiles on their faces. (happy tears ) Friends party and going out the next night with her to a local bars halloween party I feel is too risky not to bring something home
So she'll be upset, but must get over it. Risk is too high, I feel as time goes by it's just gonna get worse out there so I'll be having to be very carefull of where I go, who I see. Most outings I guess will have to be carefully thought out first and be just for the kids to not leave them in a bubble whenever possible.
good for you paula!...be sure to take pictures...
my son was debating the halloween parade at school...he didn't want to go buy a new one because he's afraid of spreading to others...last year's costume was out too...so he's decided to go as himself...disguised as 'an elementary school student'
whatever works for your comfort level i say...we're gonna have some special together time the night of...
Paula, have a great time with your kids on Halloween. You all deserve it.
Thanks Nobugs. I'm sure the kids will have a great time. I'll be all wide eyed and pure scared, but it's going to great to see them smile and have fun.
Poorbugger. I'm sorry he soesn't feel comfortable in a costume. But it's great to hear that he's going to the parade and not sheltering himself in. It's amazing how resilient
kids are. It's soo good to hear you are putting quality time in for him as well. I believe the family bond is so important in times like this. You enjoy your Halloween together too!
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