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Easy Mental Technique for Coping
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mangycur
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Joined: Sep '07
Posts: 275
Posted 1 year ago
Thu Jul 17 2008 12:19:02
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This morning I was reflecting on some of the posts I've been reading on the forums, and I am consistently struck by the amount of turmoil these bugs truly cause us. The nervousness that makes us have trouble sleeping, the ease with which some of us are moved to tears, the social isolation, the judgment, and the overwhelming amount of work involved--it's staggering.
I am a meditator and yet I have to work on a daily basis to find my center in the midst of this ordeal.
There is a quick and easy technique from eastern philosophy that helps me, any time anywhere. I want to share it because it really works, and it's easy.
It's called think the opposite.
This technique is like a bowl of ice cream. You can eat it straight, or you can drown it in nuts, whipped cream, cherries, cookie bits, hot fudge etc. You can blend it into a swirl, into a shake, or put it on a cone. Play with it.
So the straight ice cream technique:
Notice when you're thinking a thought that is painful
Say to yourself "stop"
Take a quick breath, like a hard sniff. Focus on the sound, and the sensation of the air in your nose or lungs.
Purposely think the opposite of what you were thinking
Breathe even, long breaths, in and outExample of how this works:
Thought: "OMG I cannot handle all this caulking, holy *&*$*&$*$"
Stop.
Sniff.
Thought: "I am strong and I can handle this. I have plenty of time and energy."
Breathe.The hard sniff is optional. I find it useful because of the way I am organized, to do something physical and focus on the sensation of the body, because that helps me "snap out" of a train of thought quicker. Or I suppose you can clap your hands or snap a rubber band around your wrist, or do a jig, or leave it out. Whatever.
Variation 2: follow up the opposite thought with a pleasant memory from real life. Sustain that memory, really go back into it like you were there again. It only takes a few seconds of being there and then you can get back to folding laundry.
Or if you like visualizations, visualize a nature scene, or puppies, or ponies, or visualize your life when it is bug free and what that will be like.
The more you can flesh out the memories or visualizations the better. Practice fantasizing.
It really works. Even if you only manage to do this for a few seconds, it's going to change the way your body is reacting to your thoughts. Especially since bed bugs are a long-term stressor, it's good if we can practice interrupting the flow of stress hormones. That will help us get through this today, and will reduce the amount of post-traumatic stress we have after.
Also understand that you might have days when you are too tired and stressed, and this will be less effective. But that doesn't mean it won't work like a champ tomorrow. Additionally, practice makes it easier and easier to do. Sometimes I can deflect the negative thoughts before they even finish forming. Like a slugger hitting the balls out of the stadium. Bam! Or Wonder Woman deflecting thoughts with her magic wrist-bands. Ptchew! Ptchew!
Ahem.
If anyone wants to know more about the scientific evidence of the body's reaction to thoughts, let me know.
Finally, I want to invite you all to make lists of opposite thoughts and good memories/visualization. Recite them in your head, or jot them on a post-it, or list them on this thread and I'll cheer you on!
Here is a list of thoughts I tend to have, and their opposites. I'm only sharing them as a way to hold space for those who are interested in working with this technique. (althought it works as a form of reinforcement for myself as well)
This will never be over
This too shall pass. Nothing lasts forever.I can't handle this.
I can totally handle this. I am strong and energetic.These bugs are ruining my life
I have a life, and it is rich.I spend my whole life at the laundramat
Visualization of me at home, with the laundry done, chilling out on fresh clean bedding, with my pets, watching a dvd--imagining what it will feel like in my body as I do thisOMG I never get to see my friends
Remembering a few weeks ago, visiting my friend and her baby, confident that I had done all that was necessary to not spread the bugs, holding her baby as he laughed and tried to stand up on my lapThis SUCKS!
Memory of the fun I had in Paris with my then-boyfriend. Getting off the train absolutely famished and having a meal at the nearest cafe we could find, only to find it was the best meal we have ever had, EVER!OK, so if you want, make some lists here
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Thank you, mangycur!
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buggedinva
newbite
Joined: Jul '08
Posts: 5
Posted 1 year ago
Fri Jul 18 2008 10:19:54
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Mangycur, your techniques are truly inspiring. I especially like the Wonder Women example :) Thank you so much for sharing them. If you have more ideas in the future, please continue sharing them. I think that we all need a more positive outlook in our lives and on this forum.
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Wonderful stuff, mangy. Thanks!
One of my favorite mental-reversals during laundry or cleaning is to remind myself what a great workout it is.
It's not quite on par with this sucks/best meal ever, in Paris, with bf, but it works. :-)
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mangycur
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Joined: Sep '07
Posts: 275
Posted 1 year ago
Sun Jul 20 2008 19:01:00
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I find the vacuuming to be a better workout, but the laundry definitely tones you!
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