Got Bed Bugs? Bedbugger Forums » Tales of Bed Bug Woe
Cannot Accept This!!
(5 posts)-
DeathToBBs
junior member
Joined: Jan '08
Posts: 88
Posted 2 years ago
Wed Jan 23 2008 8:27:56
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So, I thought many, many times about ending it all!! Yes. People are going to say "Don't do that!" "Of course bbs can be beaten". Well, there are some cases where bbs cannot be beaten. Some people just do not have what it takes to do all of the f..kin' work and that person is me. I get tired easily.
My apartment has no furniture in it. Can't have a pco come in because we all get bad reactions to the chemicals.
Have to do everything, EXACTLY, which is an impossibility.
Can't move to a new place because no one will accept low-income people. Just can't meet the income guidelines. I would be willing to throw everything away, everything. Buy new clothes (underwear, jackets, socks, etc.) and only take id and credit card, that's it. The rest...gone! Is there someone I can move in with? Anyone!! Just put me and my son in a corner. I'd pay rent and won't cause trouble!!
The money it takes has me broke. I saved up THOUSANDS of dollars for my kids if they need new clothes or toys or give them whatever they want. Well, it's almost GONE!!
And if I throw everything away, what makes it certain I will not get them again and then go into despair again.
I want my life back!!!
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paulaw0919
oldtimer
Joined: Jul '07
Posts: 1,034
Posted 2 years ago
Wed Jan 23 2008 9:24:23
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DeathtoBBs. I know exactly how you feel. I have been in those shoes where you feel soo helpless and cannot provide and protect your kids. PLEASE take a step back from the situation for one second. I at one point even thought my kids would be better off w/o me because of my mental state over the situation. But the hard fact and truth is that your children NEED you. They need you now and will be needing you for years and years AFTER THIS IS OVER. It WILL NOT last forever. Depending on circumstances it may take longer, may be a while...but NOT FOREVER. No one and I mean NO ONE can ever replace you for your children. That thought is what got me through this. I am a mother of 18mnth old twins and a 3yr old. During the worst of our infestation and ALLOT during my mental breakdowns, I sat on the floor with my children hugged them, played a with them a few minutes and loved them. They need that soo much and so do you.
There is soo much we cannot control and we cannot do things exactly. We are only human. Please sit back and look at all you just stated in your thread on what you cannot do. Now make a list of equal items of what you CAN do.
My biggest thing was that I could not protect my children from these fricking bugs. But I CAN love them and still be the best parent possible. Better than anyone else in fact. They are my life and I love them.
We to have barely anything left. I added up expenses and loses for tax season to try and get help getting some back. It equalled over $37k. I cannot believe it. We only had $8k in savings for emergency in the beginning of it. I have closed out retirement stocks, extended my mortgage and now have $20k in dept, almost maxed...oh, and have been charging groceries for over 8weeks now. I believe we are now bug free now, (thank God) but we have a long long struggle ahead of us to get back to "normal" (financially and mentally)
My point, is that no matter WHAT happens, it won't go on forever. Our kids are stronger than we are. A lot on how we handle it will give them strength as well. Years from now, when they are grown, you will all be at the dinner table together looking back at this and they will admire the love and strength in you. You will be their inspiration.
Whenever possible, take a step back, breathe and think of what you CAN do. You will get thru this and it WON'T last forever. Best wishes, best of luck and God Bless. -
DeathToBBs,
I'm sorry you are in this state.
You should consider non-chemical methods if you can't tolerate pesticides. It takes work and dedication, and frequency since it's mostly direct elimination, but it is an option and it can be explored. Some PCOs use non-chemical methods in sensitive situations.
If you do the laundry and don't have clutter, you have done your part and your PCO should be able to clear your infestation, whether or not your bugs are resistant or something like that, PROVIDED that you are not in a multi-family building where your neighbors are infested and the bugs are coming in along the pipes and through the walls (or that you are not continually coming in contact with a source). Because no one can permanently get rid of bedbugs in a situation like that.
Tell us more.
Please don't lose hope. There is a solution and it can be found.
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fightorflight
senior member
Joined: Jan '08
Posts: 694
Posted 2 years ago
Wed Jan 23 2008 20:11:16
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There are some out there who might think my posts are hurting more than helping. Geez, I hope not, just telling my experience.
DeathtoBBs - I've felt how you feel and still do sometimes. This is the kind of trauma it takes a long time to recover from, even if you think you've got the initial problem, the bugs, reasonably under control. Everything in the previous two posts is good thoughts and advice. Seems to me you've already done most of the work for the PCO if your apt is clear of furniture. This was a big sticking point for me - couldn't figure out how to empty my stuffed apt. Looking back, I think I could've come up with a way, but it would have cost money, doncha know.
I don't know how allergic you are to the pesticides, but would they be tolerable at all if you and your son stayed at a friend's for a couple of nights after the immediate application, would the toxicity abate after a few days? And like another thread says, wear socks or shoes on your feet and wash countertops, etc. Dunno. Even though in this case I was able to take the big leap, I also know from experience that sometimes persistence with little measures works in the end, even though it seems it won't.
As for chucking it all, which you know I did, yes I naturally have a lot of acute anxiety over getting them again at some point. I could never afford to do again what I did this time, this was a one-time-only answer. So I am trying to come up with a plan now for the next time this happens and implementing some lifestyle changes. Goodbye to the beautiful apt filled with books, records and quirky stuff and artwork that expresses my personality.
I don't know where you live - NYC? As discussed before, given my bankruptcy, my best option for next place to live is to share with someone else, rent a room/studio in a private home, anything where the background checking process is a little more flexible. I am assuming you are paying your rent on time where you live now. Can you use your current landlord as a reference?
Don't know if any of this helps. Sometimes you're just going to feel like shit and at the end of your rope. And then another day goes by anyway and you're able to think a little more clearly.
take care,
ForF -
DeathtoBBs,
Sorry you are going through this.
Life is so precious, please don't harm yourself. I DO know why you feel like it sometimes. We do understand.
It can be hard to beat bed bugs if the neighbors have them.
But non-chemical methods are an option.
Is moving--not just in the same city, but somewhere else, an option?
I think with time and brainstorming you will find a way through this and go on with your life. Unfortunately, bed bugs are a pain in the behind to deal with. But don't let them take your life. You and your kid have a good future ahead.
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