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Bad news travels in threes?

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vampiremenionprey

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Joined: Nov '08
Posts: 147

Posted 1 year ago
Wed Dec 10 2008 15:02:05
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Sorry I haven't been around in a few days to answer any posts. It seems as if life gets more hectic by the minute. I hate coming here and dumping all of my bad news but it seems as this is my best out let. Whenever I discuss the bugs with my friends or family the subject is always changed. Now I almost feel that my phone calls and emails are avoided and it's heart wrenching.

Let me start about three months ago. My husband's mother past away from a cerebreal aneurism which killed her instantly. We drove to NY (where we stayed with friends who are not infested) to say our goodbye's and take her off of life support. She was visiting family. From there we went to TX for her burial, then to OK where she was living with her husband, to help him pack some of her belongings. It drained our bank account, and my husband, physically, mentally, and emotionally. He's still having a hard time coping with her death.

Three weeks after we returned we discovered we had bed bugs for the third time in two years. The first go round was terrible, but we moved and the problem was solved. The second time we bought mattress covers and had one treatment, problems solved again. This time it's taken a toll on us. We suspect that we got them from our neighbors the second and third time. (All three of our adjoining neighbors have a problem, as well as 50 others in the complex.) We don't have many visitors and we hadn't traveled, but the third time we took precaution since we knew how well they hitch hiked and didn't want to bring any home.

During this time I was working close to 80 hours a week with low salary. I was only required to work 50-55 "or as many as needed". It seemed as no matter how much I did my boss wasn't satisfied. I took over the store when it was in horrible debt, and managed to get that fixed, but there was still so much more that she expected out of me, a one (wo)man team. I couldn't bear not spending time with my husband who was not in a good emotional state, my growing toddler, my special needs child who is in school and needs a lot of one on one attention to progress, and battling bugs again for the third time. Nor did my job compensate me enough (with time or money) to afford the process. I wound up quitting, but fortunately found another job that I'm quite satisfied with within a week.

Within the few weeks that I've been working with the new company our youngest came down with a double ear infection and they may want to do tubes, and it seems now as my oldest is getting left in the dust so to speak with his education. His teacher has focused on him primarily, which is unfair to the other children. I've been on three conference calls with her, his consoler and the school psych. to determine how we can help him. As it appears I'm going to have to take him to a behavioral therapist and possibly put him on medication. It's something I've been trying to avoid because he was just recently released from O/PT (occupational and physical therapy) and speech therapy. I'm not too big on shoveling medication down a child’s throat and just passing it off as something that is a necessity to learn, so we've tried alternate options, such as deep pressure at home and school, and caffeine. Unfortunately none of it has worked.
For a little history of Vincent, at 5 years old he didn't comprehend simple commands, questions such as who, what, where, why, and when (we still have problems with why, such as if we ask him why he did something the answer is completely off the wall.) and couldn't draw even a simple stick figure or shapes, though he did recognize them. He has been diagnosed with integrated sensory disorder (meaning he has a very hard time receiving information around him with sight, touch, taste, smell, vestibular and proprioceptive senses) and very likely to have ADHD. He's also mildly deaf in one ear. He's always had this look of downs on him as an infant and toddler, but once I found out that his biological father had hit and shook him as an infant it raised my concerns. So we are now dealing with possibly having to fit therapy into our already hectic schedules.

Lastly yesterday I went to the ER. My husband and I don't have insurance so that’s going to be a nice fat bill to pay. I've been experiencing a stabbing pain in my head for about 5 days now. It's in the front right just above my forehead, and feels like the size of the palm of my hand. The pain comes and goes throughout the day, usually 4-5 times and when it happens it lasts for 15-30 seconds about 3 times within 5-10 minutes of each other. Afterwards I have blurred vision and dizziness with a small ache or throbbing pain like a "recouping" phase. It's so bad that if this happened while I am driving I'd have to pull over so I don't wreck.

The doctors diagnosed me with "variant migraines" because I have a chronic history of migraines and the CAT scan didn't show any mass. They also check the pressure in my eye, due to a car accident that I had a few years back. This isn't anything like my typical migraines so I'm not really happy with that diagnosis. I have to do a follow up in a week. In the mean time they put me on some migraine medication that can possibly become habit forming and told me to come back if it gets worse.

We had our 2nd treatment one week ago, and haven't seen any activity since the day after, but the day before hand I scrubbed all of the bug poop off of the wall that I had been afraid to wipe down before due to residuals. I sat there crying, recalling ghosts of my past. I use to live in this very apartment years before I met my husband when it was bug free. Vincent's father and I moved in just shortly before the end of our miserable relationship. Vincent had colored on the walls with blue permanent marker. At the very end I almost lost Vincent to children's protective services, and I recalled scrubbing the blue off of the wall with the same kind of Mr. Clean pad. If you look closely enough you can see traces of the marker still, or maybe I'm just nuts. I feel like a terrible mom, thinking how horrible of me to let my babies sleep in there and be made a snack by blood sucking demons from hell...Dracula's minions.

It's all very depressing
Itchy-Scratchy

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Joined: Jul '08
Posts: 470

Posted 1 year ago
Wed Dec 10 2008 15:24:14
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Oh, vampire, I don't know what to say. So much is happening to you and the strain of all of this must be terrible. It's no wonder you are having migraine headaches. It is especially difficult when we must watch our children suffer. I'm not one to advocate medication for children, but my daughter is ADHD and medication helped her enormously. Just some food for thought...

Don't for one second think that you are a terrible mom. It's certainly not your fault that these b*ast*rd BBs are in your home, or that you children are being bitten.

One of the tragedies about battling BBs is that it leaves you running on empty. When the next challenge or problem presents itself, there's no energy left deal with it. I know that scrubbing BB poo would likely set me off in a fit of tears. I can manage a certain level of denial, which helps me cope. But when I am presented with evidence of my miserable life -- like blood spots on the sheets or a cluster of bites -- my denial is temporarily broken and I find myself sobbing like a baby.

You've had your second treatment and haven't seen any activity, so perhaps you are through the worst of it. Won't it be nice if you can put BBs behind you and focus on the kids? In the meantime, the forum is certainly here for support. Come here to cry, if you need to. I'm here to listen.
Kate

PS I'm glad to hear that you quit that terrible, thankless job where you were working 80 hours a week. Good for you!!
myLifeinZiplocs

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Joined: Nov '08
Posts: 84

Posted 1 year ago
Wed Dec 10 2008 16:01:37
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oh vampire I am so sorry. :( I am giving you a virtual hug, even though I know it doesn't help much. I don't really pray either but I am sending you positive thoughts.

You know ironically I am fairly agnostic and don't pray, but there are people who DO pray, and they will pray for you. I have actually found comfort in calling them, despite my aversion to religion...

The unity prayer line: 1-800-669-7729

There is always someone there 24 hours a day. It feels a little weird, especially if you aren't religious. But they are so loving and comforting. There is something comforting about knowing that a group of people are going to pray for your situation for a month. While I don't believe in god so much, I do believe in the power of collective thought and intentionality. So maybe that is why it helps me feel better.

In any case, I am so sorry that all this crap is happening at once. *hug*
parakeets

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Joined: Mar '07
Posts: 913

Posted 1 year ago
Wed Dec 10 2008 16:16:19
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I am impressed with all you ARE handling. If you could turn the store around--which you did, and deal with your son's prior diagnoses--which you resolved, and the loss of your husband's mother--which you did, and keep your child out of protective services--which you did, and quit a job and get a new one right away in this market--which you did, and deal with bedbugs 3 times--which you did.....well, I think you are remarkably resilient and deserve an award. You will handle all this, too. It's a lot.
myLifeinZiplocs

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Posts: 84

Posted 1 year ago
Wed Dec 10 2008 16:18:44
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I agree with parakeets. :)
losingit

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Posts: 292

Posted 1 year ago
Wed Dec 10 2008 16:37:49
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I second Parakeets here - I was going to say the same thing. You're doing SO much right, and still taking care of those around you and yourself. The fact that you come here to 'vent' or release a bit of steam is evidence of that, otherwise you might be hitting the bottle or god knows what. Your children sound damned lucky to me, you care, you love, you follow all the options and yes, it's freaking hard but you're still doing it.

Trying to deal with everything all at once is a disaster I find. Break up each problem into small do-able parts and focus on one at a time, otherwise it IS overwhelming. Little by little, baby steps will do it. Get through each day, just 24 hours and then do the same tomorrow and so on. It will get better.

Don't forget to pat yourself on the back either for getting stuff done!

I'll send some good thoughts are going your way for strenght and courage...:)
lynnee82

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Joined: Oct '08
Posts: 66

Posted 1 year ago
Wed Dec 10 2008 17:31:58
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You have been through so much! Please don't feel bad about venting. That is what this forum is for. I think you are amazing - any one of the things you are dealing with would drive a person crazy, yet you are dealing with all of them! I have been fighting the bb's almost 2 months now. One day I will feel like I can continue the fight, then the next day I am in despair again. It is an emotional roller coaster. I don't think friends or family can really understand unless they have gone through it. Keep posting and know you are among friends who understand and care.
bugbait

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Joined: Sep '08
Posts: 58

Posted 1 year ago
Wed Dec 10 2008 22:12:51
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Vampire - I'm sooo sorry. If troubles come in threes, you've certainly hit your limit. Clearly you are a great mom and wonderful wife. I agree with parakeets - you have handled impossible situations so well. I do pray, and will pray and send positive, healing thoughts your way. Here is a big ((((((hug))))))
vampiremenionprey

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Posts: 147

Posted 1 year ago
Thu Dec 11 2008 23:16:48
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I want to thank all of you for your kind words, support, thoughts, and prayers. I've been doing a bit better with the medication they put me on for my migranes, but it's still painful. Fortunately hubby has been here for me.

Tonight I found 3 nymphs. They were all very tiny, only one freshly fed. My third treatment is this next wednesday, and hopefully it will be the final. After that we're taking our older cat to the vet and hoping it's just a parasite in her rectum and not cancer.

Tomorrow I go to court with the baby's biological father. He just turned two on the 30th and I haven't seen nor heard hide or hair from his biological father since he was 4 months old. He refused to take the DNA test and sign over his rights so my husband can adopt. Well tomorrow is the big day, and hopefully it will all go well. It will be one less thing on my plate to stress over.

Wish me luck...thank you!
myLifeinZiplocs

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Joined: Nov '08
Posts: 84

Posted 1 year ago
Thu Dec 11 2008 23:36:03
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May I ask where/how you found them? I am doing The Inspection and Vacuum Project tomorrow and I am afraid if they are that small then I won't see them.

I hope your third treatment is the last one! (hug)
vampiremenionprey

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Posted 1 year ago
Fri Dec 12 2008 18:43:15
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I'm assuming that the infestation in the boys room was really bad. Thats where I found the three. They are rather tiny but I immediately look up when I walk into a room with low celings (even while I was at the hospital i stopped to inspect spots on the wall). I could tell they were nymphs from the slight color they put off in the crease between the wall and ceiling that isn't quite a white color, more off white. And the other little sucker, he was recently fed nice and dark, easy to spot.

The boys room doesn't have anything (and I stress anything) in it eccept for a standing lamp, the air matress that Vincent sleeps on and a crib. I inspect the cracks and crevices of the crib regularly as well as both matressess for blood stains or poop. So far so good with those items. I just hope our third treatment will be the end of it.

After our third treatment I'm going to lay down DE and use 91% alcohol until we move if I see anything else. I'm hoping we'll be gone by the end of January.

As far as court goes, the baby's biological father was not ready with the papers he needed, so court was continued for the third and final time. Unfortunately if we are able to move I'll have to come back up for court. Unless I can have an attorney convince him to sign over his rights before then instead of him prolonging the fact that he doesn't want to pay child support and is trying to do so by using his mental condition as an excuse to not be able to physically hold a job.

How did the project go...and everyone THANKS AGAIN.

Juli
vampiremenionprey

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Joined: Nov '08
Posts: 147

Posted 1 year ago
Fri Dec 12 2008 18:45:21
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I forgot to mention that I would see the bugs hanging out on the wall in broad daylight before we were able to start treatment. This is why I believe the infestation was rather bad. On our matress we only saw about 4 nymphs when we hocked it and about 3 on the wall (ajoining where the poop pictures were taking) behind our bed.