Got Bed Bugs? Bedbugger Forums » Tales of Bed Bug Woe

Back into the nightmare?

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  1. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 5 months ago
    Wed Jun 21 2017 15:27:19
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    I posted on this forum two years ago when I caught bedbugs when I was subletting a room via craigslist in Austin. To sum up my story: I caught BB while traveling to the US in july 2015 and, despite all the precautions I took (throwing away my suitcase, my tablet, everything that couldn't go into the washing machine) brought them back to France in my apartment. I battled them for two months but despite the (lame/ineffective) PCO treatment, I still got bites. I moved out of the apartment and had to throw away ALL my belongings (just kept some photo albums that I put in the freezer -minus 21 celsius degrees- for several weeks). I lost all my money (paying for the PCO and the K9 canine team several times) and I lost literally everything I owned (cause in France theres' no vikane treatment, no packtite, nothing!). Then I had to ask my ex-husband if I could come under his roof for some months so I could gather some money to rent a new apartment and buy furniture. My move was a success, I didn't bring any bedbugs with me and the bites stopped. I didn't post a success story because I don't really consider a success the fact that I had to throw everything I owned and the fact that I'm broke since then...
    Fast forward to now: my son and his father went on holidays on May 28, rented a house for the weekend and my son came back with bites all over his body! Needless to say that I freaked out. Especially cause my ex-husband is in denial and refuses to acknowledge that such monsters do exist. So he told me not to worry, that it was mosquitoes. Still, since then, my son wakes up every morning with 2 bites approximately and so do I. I tore the beds apart today looking for live ones or fecal spots but found nothing. The bites are just like the bites I used to have when I was certain to have bedbugs and it's killing me. I can't call the woman with the dogs because I need the money to pay the bills and whatever I do, it won't work because my ex-husband will refuse to treat his apartment and to do all the hard work you're supposed to do when you have bedbugs...If this is bedbugs, I'm screwed because even if i have my apartment treated, my ex-husband (who is likely to have brought BBs into my aparment) won't do the same so he'll reintroduce BBs in my apartment through my son's clothes/ stuff.
    I am so scared, I'm barely recovering from being traumatized by BBs in 2015, it can't happen again!
    I just needed to vent and I know no one can do anything to help me but at least I needed to tell my story...

  2. BigDummy

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    Posted 5 months ago
    Wed Jun 21 2017 16:03:05
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    Don't focus on the "what ifs;" no evidence is a good thing.
    Mosquito bites after a holiday sounds like a perfectly reasonable outcome.

    HVAC/Locksmith/Bed Bug Control for a non-profit homeless shelter and long term veteran housing.
  3. BattleoftheBug

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    Posted 5 months ago
    Wed Jun 21 2017 16:52:23
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    If you did not go on holiday and are waking up with bites, then all you can do for know is just keep inspecting and keeping vigilant--plus washing and drying and vacuuming as best you can. The bugs are not ghosts so, if you have them again, you will see a sign quite soon if you continue to inspect. My suggestion is to allow your son to stay with your ex-husband for visits and to let you know if he gets bitten there, too. I don't know how else you are going to be able to know if his father brought bugs home with him or not. If he gets bites there, tell your husband you cannot fight alone on two fronts and, until he gets his place treated, you are not going to send the boy. What can he do about it?

    I think my little granddaughter brought bed bugs into my apartment a few months ago as when she came she had the same things with her that she had when she and her parents stayed in a hotel on holiday. I was getting bitten, too, but could find very little evidence. This has already severely disrupted my life but what more can I do until I actually find a bug, living or dead? Six years ago I had an infested and lost nearly all of my belongings. We do it, give them up, because the PCO's can't get rid of the bugs. A lot of them don't even do a proper job. I don't consider that a success story, either, as it cost me so much money to replace everything.

  4. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 5 months ago
    Thu Jun 22 2017 4:11:01
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    Thanks so much BigDummy for your comments (it's a little reassuring) and thanks Battleofthe bugs for your feedback too.
    I'm really worried and I can't stand the thought of having to do it all over again...I especially can't stand the thought of my little boy being exposed to insecticides. I don't want him to sleep in a room full of bedbugs but most of all I don't want him to sleep in a room full of insecticide. If there's a God, he can't do that to me and my son!

  5. BigDummy

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    Posted 5 months ago
    Thu Jun 22 2017 9:29:40
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    Sending your son to the other house and seeing if he gets bites is a terrible way to determine bed bugs. Anything out of the ordinary is going to send you down that spiral again.

    Remember, there are more things that aren't bed bugs than there are things that are bed bugs; there are literally thousands of reasons for skin irritations.

    Stay strong, remember that the only true evidence is fecal deposits, cast skins and bed bugs themselves. You'll be fine, you just gave yourself a scare.

  6. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 5 months ago
    Thu Jun 22 2017 14:59:15
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    BigDummy, thanks again for your reassuring words and pieces of advice...I'll be trying to stay strong but honestly I don't think I'll be able (mentally, physically and financially) to go through another bedbug ordeal again. So I pray every day that these bites are not bedbug related.

  7. BattleoftheBug

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    Posted 5 months ago
    Thu Jun 22 2017 16:06:35
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    Well, BigDummy, I see you did not suggest another means by which this woman could possibly tell if her ex-husband has bed bugs! Terrible? Are you kidding? The boy has already been bitten by something on vacation and is still alive. A lot of children around the world have been bitten by bed bugs because their parents can't get rid of them. They're also still alive. I doubt very much the lady's ex could have that many bugs yet [if he has any] that her son could get overwhelmed with bites. This poster has already indicated the boy's father is in denial, so he, himself, will likely not admit if he has bugs or not. The boy is going to his father's place, anyway! That's what worries the poster, but she hasn't said she plans to stop the child from going. I notice, too, BigDummy, that you are always attempting to convince people that they probably have something else biting them besides bed bugs, that their skin is irritated--something, anything. I don't think pushing people to the side of denial is the best idea. If they're in this forum, maybe their suspicion is correct, so just advocating vigilance is probably the best procedure.

  8. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Fri Jun 23 2017 11:37:59
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    I can't prevent my child from going to his father's cause we have shared custody so we're abiding by the law/ the rules. The most worrying thing for me is that, unless my ex-husband has tons of bedbugs crawling everywhere (which isn't the case yet), he won't do anything about bedbugs. Plus, he often rents his place on Airbnb! Which increases the risks for bedbugs. This will be anightmare if we do have them. This is the worst, getting rid of them will no longer depend on me but also on him and his girlfriend (they have 2 separate apartments but often sleep at both places so if he's infested, his girlfriend's place, his place and my apartment will be infested!)...

  9. BigDummy

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Fri Jun 23 2017 12:11:57
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    You're assuming the worst case scenario from a perfectly reasonable explanation; your son went on holiday and came back with some mosquito bites.
    Pressing your ex-husband will do nothing but make him defensive, correct? He's already witnessed you over-react by discarding all of your belongings and becoming homeless two years ago.
    Stick with actual evidence, you'll go crazy otherwise.
    If you find fecal or cast skins you know you can post a photo here and have a proper ID within hours, until that point try not to focus on the issue so much, your ex-husband's household is out of your control.

  10. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Sat Jun 24 2017 15:10:34
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    BigDummy, you're absolutely right, you understood perfectly the situation: the more I speak about bedbugs to my ex-husband, the more defensive he becomes. He'll barely talk to me now (whereas before our relationship was cordial/friendly).
    Today my son is at his place but I met them for my son's school party. My son was wearing shorts and a tshirt and I immediately saw 4 bites around his elbow (and I know bedbugs like to bite on joints) plus 2 on his legs. I am at a loss, I couldn't even concentrate to enjoy his show. I wish these were mosquito bites but it's hard to convince myself as there are so many coincidences (we have bites since their holidays in the rented house by the ocean).
    As my ex-husband will not listen to me, my next move will be to call his girlfriend on Monday evening (while my ex-husband is at work) to try to discuss with her and make her understand the potential risks for these bites to be bedbugs (if she's not stubborn like my ex husband, she should be concerned about it being bedbugs, i guess she doesn't want her and her young kid to be eaten alive) and maybe she can get my ex-husband to listen...

  11. BigDummy

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Sat Jun 24 2017 18:20:17
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    If your ex is already done listening to you about bed bugs imagine how it will play out if you call his girlfriend. Going around him and speaking to her will only make the situation more volatile.

    Please, let's just wait until we have some confirmed evidence, I really don't think it's bed bugs.

    Elbow bites??? Why is it you're willing to accept nonsensical information like bed bugs like to bite at the joints but are able to ignore something as sensible as mosquito bites? How on earth would a bed bug determine where an elbow is located? If you think about anatomy the skin on our palms, the bottoms of our feet, our knees and are elbows are extra-protected against damage by design. The skin is tougher, the blood vessels are deeper, the skin is even tighter; all great defenses against a piercing mouth. In all of my experiments with feeding bed bugs I've never had them successfully feed on my palms, they will wander around until they find the soft skin between my fingers or on the back of my hand, or down my wrist to my forearm.

    Hang in there, we'll get you through this the right way, no need to start throwing things out again. Please stop relying on your perception and stick to hard evidence, if bed bugs are the problem you know what to look for and it shouldn't be long before there are fecal deposits and cast skins. You'll get through this.

  12. BigDummy

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Sat Jun 24 2017 18:23:51
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    A rented house by the ocean, perfect for lots of outdoor bugs.
    Make me a list of ten bugs capable of biting your son in that environment and post it here.

  13. BattleoftheBug

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Sat Jun 24 2017 20:04:40
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    I can't agree with BigDummy on this. If you are on good terms with your ex's girlfriend, I don't see the harm in discussing this with her at all. Being a mother, she is in a position to understand your concerns and perhaps she knows something about the source of these bites.

  14. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Sun Jun 25 2017 10:25:19
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    BigDummy - 15 hours ago  » 
    A rented house by the ocean, perfect for lots of outdoor bugs.
    Make me a list of ten bugs capable of biting your son in that environment and post it here.

    I can't make a list but I understand your point of view, I understand that it can be mosquitoes or other bugs...
    Thanks for the information about bedbugs not necessarily biting on joints (I don't remember where I got this information)...
    And as for my ex's girlfriend, I still don't know what I should do, I'm hesitating, I'll decide tomorrow...
    Anyway, thank you so much for your feedback!

  15. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Sun Jun 25 2017 10:27:31
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    BattleoftheBug - 14 hours ago  » 
    I can't agree with BigDummy on this. If you are on good terms with your ex's girlfriend, I don't see the harm in discussing this with her at all. Being a mother, she is in a position to understand your concerns and perhaps she knows something about the source of these bites.

    I tend to agree with you Battleof the Bug but I'm still hesitating, BigDummy may also be right when he says it can make the situation more volatile...I'll take a decision tomorrow, I'll see and keep you posted.

  16. BattleoftheBug

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Sun Jun 25 2017 16:37:14
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    Well, it's up to you. But if it turns out your ex has bedbugs, what makes you so sure you have to keep sending your son to his place if he doesn't take action against them? I don't know French Law but I watch a lot of contemporary French films. You have social workers like we do and a court that handles family matters alone, don't you? Here's what I would do in America. If my ex and I had joint custody and I thought I had to send my child into a bad situation, I would get on Google and find out just what I could legally do about it. Family court is not that complex. Years ago, my own ex was way behind in his support payments and so I figured out what motion I had to write up in order to compel him to pay, filed it, and told my story to the judge in a motion hearing. I won--no advocate involved. I got my money. I don't have any young children anymore, but if I became convinced the other parent had bed bugs, I would take any action to keep my kid or kids away from that environment and protect my own. I have read more than one person here saying "Well, I can't keep the kids from going there and bringing them home." I'm not sure that's really true. I get the sense that your ex is pretty well off and that you feel very dependent on his good will. If not, why so hesitant to even speak to his girlfriend?

  17. BattleoftheBug

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Sun Jun 25 2017 16:55:16
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    [/url]http://www.parents.fr/etre-parent/droits-et-administratif/droits-et-devoirs-des-parents-divorces-79774[/url]

    This site indicates to me that French Family Court is rather like the American one.

  18. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Mon Jun 26 2017 10:33:27
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    Battle of the Bug, my ex is not well off at all. Yet, as for bedbugs I'm totally dependent on his good will. He won't let me come into his apartment to check the mattresses and he won't even listen to me when I tell him I'm extremely worried about my son suffering from all these bites. he doesn't care about my son being bitten multiple times.

    Today, I couldn't refrain myself from calling the K9 team (I entirely trust the woman with the dogs because she's honest and 2 years ago she came to help me several times without making me pay, she was the only knowledgable person in France, the PCOs were clueless about bedbugs telling me many stupid things like "put your itemr just one night in the freezer and it will kill them all", "They can't infest your car" and so on) and she said she should be able to come on July 4th (maybe earlier but she wasn't sure).
    But this won't solve the problem because she won't be able to detect BBs in my ex's apartment as my ex won't let her do that.
    I feel trapped.
    Today, I have one more itchy bite, I feel desperate.

  19. Sleepless2

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Mon Jun 26 2017 11:03:23
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    Hello there,
    I can 100% sympathise with your story. Nearly two years ago a girl who rented a room for a couple of months brought bed bugs into my beautiful home..which i subsequently lost as a result. It was all wooden floors and old crumbly walls and the bugs got into them and that was that. Being in Europe of course, Madrid to be exact meant that PCOs know nothing, work terribly and generally make things worse. I fortunately am a biologist with plently of insect experience so have some understanding of this problem.
    What i wanted to say was the following. I lost my home and almost everything I own. I moved and they reappeared 3 times in 3 different homes. I would like to point out that in all this time I have seen just 2 bugs. Just the 2. Although plently of bites and blood spots in the bed. Everybody thought I was a crazy hysterical woman everytime I said that they were back. This is the hardest thing I think to deal with. And then they were discovered in one of rooms in the art school I go to in the evenings. So that was how I reinfected my subsequent homes. Now that has been identified I am sure I can move again and not take them with me. Ive since left the school. I had written here a couple of times and well meaning people will say, if you dont see them they are not there. This is not true and does not help. For those of us who have had them and then see the signs again, as in your case, I think you know. I knew and I was right every time. I would therefore act and act now. It is much better to do this than hope and pray that it isnt bedbugs, as the consequences of a full blown infestion as you know can be traumatic. Bag, hoover, steam. Treat your home, make it a safe space, enploy protocols everytime your son returns from his fathers house. But dont be hysterical about it. You cant force people to act. They have their own path to follow. But ensure that the road they chose does not negatively impact on you. Get some Cimexa. Neem oil. And as I said bag, steam, hoover, wash , dry....it may bot be bedbugs in the end. Lets hope not, but like I say I would act now just incase it is.
    Good luck!

  20. Richard56

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Mon Jun 26 2017 13:17:36
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    BOB: I notice, too, BigDummy, that you are always attempting to convince people that they probably have something else biting them besides bed bugs, that their skin is irritated--something, anything.
    -----------------------------------
    Ever hear of Occam's Razor? It states when there are two hypothesis, the simpler of the two is usually correct. What makes you think the cause of the skin marks are bed bugs when there are so many more simple possibilities such as mosquito bites in the summer? This kind of bed bug centric thinking will drive you nuts and let bed bugs take over your life. If you have evidence of bed bugs, fine. But bug bites and similar skin marks alone is not evidence, and trying to convince other people it might be is doing them a disservice.

    Richard

  21. BattleoftheBug

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Mon Jun 26 2017 15:22:27
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    You are misinterpreting the meaning of Occam's Razor. There is no "simpler" between two or more explanations when it comes to bugs--especially when one is waking up in the morning with bites--unless one doesn't have any screens on the windows. Also unless one is sleeping uncovered, mosquitos are not going to have much access to ones entire torso. I said before and I'll repeat it for you: Advising people who suspect bed bugs to be vigilant is the best advice. Or, if they have a bug or bugs to post a photo. But to tell them they *probably* have been bitten by something else instead of bed bugs is just nudging them over to the side of denial, where many would rather be, anyway.

  22. Richard56

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Mon Jun 26 2017 15:38:34
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    Big Dummy is simply saying that without evidence the likelihood (Occam's Razor) is that the skin marks are something other than bed bugs. It not only seems to be reassuring to the OP, but it's true.

    Your advice on the other hand is equating skin marks with bed bug evidence that is not only not true, but no doubt anxiety producing to the OP.

    There is no denial going on at all, just a reality check, as opposed to an illogical bed bug centric view of bug bites during the summer.

    Richard

  23. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Mon Jun 26 2017 15:45:40
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    Thanks sleppless2 for being sympathetic with my story and for sharing your story/ your thoughts.
    Thanks Richard56 for trying to reassure me.
    Thanks Battle of the Bug for sharing your point of view.

    I've just called my ex's girlfriend (I hesitated but couldn't refrain from doing it). She has been very receptive (wasn't in denial like my ex-husband) but she said she thought it was mosquito bites. Yet she said she would remain vigilant.
    This doesn't really help but at least I could inform her that such awful monsters like bedbugs do exist and now she's aware of the potential problem.

  24. BattleoftheBug

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Tue Jun 27 2017 10:34:01
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    To the people shaving with Occam's Razor here--did it ever occur to you that there are some places where mosquitos are rarer than bed bugs? It depends on the climate. Where I live now a mosquito is difficult to find. People here can go outside on a summer night without worrying about being bitten by this type of blood sucker at all. But bed bugs are becoming an epidemic here. Also, to imply that advocating vigilance amounts to this: "Your advice on the other hand is equating skin marks with bed bug evidence that is not only not true, but no doubt anxiety producing to the OP. " is simply bullying tactics. I never told anyone on here ever that their bite marks were from bed bugs! In this thread the OP is worried that her husband might have bed bugs. At no point did I ever say he had them for sure! How would I know? My only advice to her was regarding how to determine if he did or what she could do if it proved to be the case. How does your bullying me lessen the anxiety of the OP? Perhaps you'd like to explain.

  25. bed-bugscouk

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Tue Jun 27 2017 10:59:48
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    Hi,

    Picking this one up late but have read most of the on topic replies.

    One of the issues as illustrated here is that bed bugs are anxiety drivers, to add further sources of anxiety to them simply compounds the issue.

    Like all journeys or tasks that initially appear debilitatingly hard the reality is that they start one step at a time.

    In this case the first step is to confirm what is going on with your property and then to consider the possible sources.

    One of the "hidden issues" here is that "most humans" are drawn towards seeing bed bugs as a blame issue and thus they subconsciously or in rare cases consciously seek to deal with others above their own immediate surroundings.

    To explain this, I have spent the last 12 years asking people "how do you think you got bed bugs?" the response is 98% directed towards other non present sources, the ex boyfriend, the hotel, the friends house, the mother in law, the sister, the brother, the item from <insert online store> and yet they would be more accurate had they responded "I must have brought them in somehow". This is sort of a key step in helping to be able to see clearly why bed bugs is a clear communication and supportive solution rather than a blamey blamey one.

    I am not saying 100% that you are doing this, only that you appear to be drawn in the way that many/most people do, to that extent is "normal", it's just not helpful.

    Before talking to others without confirming your situation you have to be mindful that their fear and anxiety of an issue may be responded to in an "ignore and it will go away model". Many years ago we started to call this Ostrich Bug (see Ostrichbug.com for details). To them this is also "normal" although it is equally unhelpful.

    Therefore the best step I can see is to confirm what is going on in your home first and foremost and then to seek to address others as potential source mitigation.

    That means your efforts are best directed towards confirming:

    • Live samples
    • Cast skins
    • Faecal traces

    The FAQs and useful tools will help with that.

    You can post images to confirm any signs and that also helps to work out how long things have been going on.

    However, at this stage it is also important to understand without these confirming signs you are kept in the classification of potential issue but one that is not confirmed. Again this is to help keep the anxiety of a potential issue from drawing people into conclusions which might be even be the case.

    If you understand the the principles of anxiety management from mindful awareness the link below will help:

    http://www.bed-bugs.co.uk/anxiety

    Hope that helps.

    David Cain
    Bed Bugs Limited

    If you have found this information helpful please consider leaving feedback on social media via google+ or FaceBook or by like/loving the images.

    In accordance with the AUP and FTC (legal requirements) I openly disclose my vested interest in Passive Monitors as the inventor and patent holder. Since 2009 they have become an integral part in how we resolve bed bug infestations. I also have a professional relationship with PackTite in that they distribute my product under their own branding. I do not however receive any financial remuneration for any comments I make about products.
  26. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Tue Jun 27 2017 15:08:18
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    Thanks a lot David Cain for your comments and advice. I checked the website you're talking about. I'll try to follow these pieces of advice but I have to admit that I have a very hard time coping with the stress and anxiety. But I'll be searching for evidence and if I find any, I'll post it here (thanks again to everyone on this forum).
    I'm not "living" right now, just surviving, only for my kid. It makes me mad and depressed to see that I can't protect him from being bitten (I'm a mother I should do everything and anything to protect him, but I can't!). I picked him up at school today and he had 2 more bites (he slept at my ex girlfriend('s house yesterday)...I can handle being bitten myself but seing bites on him is driving me nuts and desperate.

  27. Richard56

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Tue Jun 27 2017 16:30:07
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    BBUK: Before talking to others without confirming your situation you have to be mindful that their fear and anxiety of an issue may be responded to in an "ignore and it will go away model".
    --------------------------
    Very true. In addition, they might turn on you for blaming them. Long story short, several years ago I had a newly budding relationship ended abruptly over mosquito bites. I had asked her if she had bed bugs at home. However nicely you say it, be prepared that it may not be taken very well.

    Richard

  28. Richard56

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Tue Jun 27 2017 16:54:07
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    BOB: How does your bullying me lessen the anxiety of the OP? Perhaps you'd like to explain.
    OP: Thanks Richard56 for trying to reassure me.
    -------------------------------
    I guess the OP disagrees with you. I was not trying to "bully" anyone, just trying to make the same point that Big Dummy made, i.e that your advice wasn't being helpful.

    Richard

  29. BattleoftheBug

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Tue Jun 27 2017 18:30:29
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    Richard56: "I guess the OP disagrees with you. I was not trying to "bully" anyone, just trying to make the same point that Big Dummy made, i.e that your advice wasn't being helpful. "

    Since I wasn't advising the two of you, that isn't your call. Let the OP decide for herself how helpful I've been. What you and BigDummy think really doesn't interest me at this point.

  30. BigDummy

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Wed Jun 28 2017 9:19:12
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    Per forum rules you're really not in a position to offer advice. Please understand that we're here to help, many of us deal with bed bugs on a daily basis and have cleared many infestations as well as confirmed many fears as not bed bug related at all. We're not guessing, this is from experience.
    I like to work on "Head Bug" issues as they can be particularly nasty and cause the sufferers to act in unhealthy ways. I prefer to focus on hard evidence as opposed to feelings and try and relay that process to the sufferers.

  31. BattleoftheBug

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Wed Jun 28 2017 9:51:53
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    I got rid of my bed bugs and managed to stay free of them for six years and that was not accomplished by wishing and praying and hoping--but by hard work and using my brain. I doubt the PCO I had coming in helped that much. If he was so good, I wouldn't have had bugs after seven treatments. I have done plenty of reading in this forum over a lengthy period and tend to remember what I learn. You consider yourself an expert on bed bugs--fine--but the experience of others who have dealt with the creatures, what works and what doesn't, counts for something, too, I would think. Also, instead of wasting your time writing to me, why don't you employ it more productively by responding to those new people who come here on a constant basis asking for help? Or, alternatively, you can keep up these posts to me--but this will be my final response to you in this thread.

  32. Richard56

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Wed Jun 28 2017 10:05:31
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    @tripturned: I'm not "living" right now, just surviving, only for my kid. It makes me mad and depressed to see that I can't protect him from being bitten
    ------------------------------
    What helped me a lot during a very trying period with bed bugs was changing my mindset.

    The very common mindset I had was "I know I have bed bugs but I just can't find them". I changed it to the less emotional, more logical, more evidence based mindset which is "I don't have bed bugs unless I see the evidence".

    This change in mindset made a big difference then, and it still does today in the occasional situations where I think I might have been exposed, or get anxious seeing bite marks, etc.

    Richard

  33. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Wed Jun 28 2017 15:40:34
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    Richard56 - 5 hours ago  » 
    @tripturned: I'm not "living" right now, just surviving, only for my kid. It makes me mad and depressed to see that I can't protect him from being bitten
    ------------------------------
    What helped me a lot during a very trying period with bed bugs was changing my mindset.
    The very common mindset I had was "I know I have bed bugs but I just can't find them". I changed it to the less emotional, more logical, more evidence based mindset which is "I don't have bed bugs unless I see the evidence".
    This change in mindset made a big difference then, and it still does today in the occasional situations where I think I might have been exposed, or get anxious seeing bite marks, etc.
    Richard

    Thank you Richard, I'll try to change my mind set...Thank you all for trying to help me! It means a lot to me.

    Today I inspected (again) my son's mattress and boxspring and I found these red streaks on the side of his mattress. To me it doesn't look like fecal but I find it weird anyway:
    20170628_155721 by B Bugger, sur Flickr

  34. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Wed Jun 28 2017 15:43:17
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    Thank you Richard for your comment, I'll try to change my mind set...Thank you all for trying to help me, it means a lot to me.

    Today I inspected my son's bed and boxspring and I found these red streaks (that don't look like fecal to me but still it's weird) on the side of his mattress

    20170628_155721 by B Bugger, sur Flickr

  35. BigDummy

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    Wed Jun 28 2017 15:53:30
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    Looks like pen marks from assembly. Definitely not bed bug related.

  36. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Thu Jun 29 2017 4:08:34
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    Thanks again BigDummy, I'm a little bit relieved.

  37. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Tue Jul 4 2017 10:23:49
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    Update on my situation:
    So the team with the dogs came to my apartment this morning and gave me an all clear.
    I'm partially relieved. Only partially because my ex's apartment and his girlfriend's apartment haven't been inspected (I can't pay the dogs for 3 places and they wouldn't agree on having a dog check their apartments anyway).
    The K9 team understood that I have no control on the other apartments so they told me that, each time my kid comes back from his father's, I'll have to put the clothes in the washing machine, steam all the stuff that can't go into the washing machine (his bag, his shoes for example) and freeze everything else for 5 days at least. They told me to do that also to soothe a little my anxiety.
    I also ordered passive monitors to put under our beds.
    Next week they (my ex husband and my son) will go on vacation again by the Mediterranean sea for a week in a mobile home in a camping. I know I'll have to fight my anxiety. I know I can't prevent them from going on a vacation but I'll be anxious because my ex-husband won't take any precautions when they get back from their vacation. We'll see...
    Thank you all for your help and support...

  38. Proudmommyto3rottenboys

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Tue Jul 4 2017 22:58:39
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    I tot agree with sleepless 2...Waiting to find a bed bug could be your worst mistake...Ive said in lots of my post that bed bugs hide really good.Ive dealt with bed bugs off and on for over 3 years...I've never ever found a bed bug anytime Ive searched for them.Ive only seen them crawling on my shirt once and my sons shirt once...Usually you won't see them or traces of them until you have a lot..If your having bites and not finding anything I would still do what you can like spreading Cimexa around the house and keep searching....Put traps out and incase your beds...I feel sorry for everyone going through this.This is the worst thing Ive ever been through in my life!!!!

  39. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Wed Jul 5 2017 3:05:17
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    Proudmommy, this is also the worst thing I've been through in my life (even though I went through a lot).
    Yet, I won't spread insecticide unless I have strong evidence of bedbugs.
    I don't want to put my little boy's health at risk with insecticides that are at least as harmful as bedbugs.
    The dogs didn't detect anything so I'm trying to calm down. I'll monitor my place.

  40. BigDummy

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    Wed Jul 5 2017 8:07:00
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    I'm happy for you, it's an improvement in your views on bed bugs. I'm glad you were able to take the PCO at their word that there were no bed bugs. The treatment regimen might be a bit excessive, and chance you'll just monitor after a set period of time that your son doesn't bring in bed bugs? Say, after six months and he's still not brought in a bed bug relax your treatment and trust in the monitors?

  41. Richard56

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Wed Jul 5 2017 9:40:58
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    Hi,

    You do seem in a much better place mentally.

    And remember, there was really no evidence of bed bugs at your ex husband's, it was just some bites which statistically probably were from mosquitoes.

    Also, you mentioned that your son had some bites at home as well, yet your home got the all clear both from inspection and dog teams. So using logic, I think you can safely assume that if your ex husband's place was infected, then there would have been some signs of bed bugs at your place by now. But since they aren't signs at your place, I think a reasonable and logically assumption is that there weren't and are no bed bugs at your ex husband's place.

    So, I agree with Big Dummy, that decontaminating your son's clothes and belongings is a bit excessive, and I also think it will prolong your old bed bug centric mindset. That said, if it helps make you feel safer right now, no great harm. Just try and look at it as an optional, extra precaution and not something that has to be done.

    Think it's time to start pushing beyond this issue in your life.

    Richard

  42. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Wed Jul 5 2017 9:46:26
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    Thank you so much BigDummy for all of your comments: yes, maybe after some months and especially after the summer, if I don't see any more bites, I may be able to relax my treatment, I hope I'll be able to do that(i'm not sure though)...If my son and I receive more bites, I know it will raise my anxiety to high levels but I'm going to try to tell myself it's most probably not bedbugs but mosquitoes...I'll also monitor my place for peace of mind with the passives and I'll keep checking our mattresses and boxsprings on a regular basis.

  43. BigDummy

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Wed Jul 5 2017 11:30:18
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    When more insect bites appear just look back at this experience and remember, no evidence turned out to be no bed bugs. You inspection skills were confirmed when the professionals came up with the same results as you. You know what to look for, you can do this.

  44. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Wed Jul 5 2017 15:07:42
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    I can't thank you enough Richard and BigDummy for taking the time to read and to answer my posts with your kind and full of common sense words (I'm not sure that what I wrote is good English but I hope you understand what I mean).

  45. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Tue Jul 11 2017 15:40:54
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    It's been a week since the dogs came and their handlers gave me the all clear. I want to believe them.
    Yet, I keep waking up with a large bite every day, mostly on my legs, around the joints. Today's bite was really painful so as much as I tried to calm down I'm feeeling anxious again. I've placed passive monitors, they're clear but have only been in place for 2 days so I know it doesn't mean anyting right now. That was just an update on my situation mostly to share my anxiety...

  46. BigDummy

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Thu Jul 13 2017 14:03:05
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    You sound like you are already looking at this more clearly, even through your anxiety.
    You should feel proud even with that anxiety, you have kept your fear under control far better than you were just two weeks ago.
    Progress

  47. tripturnedintoanightmare

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    Posted 4 months ago
    Thu Jul 13 2017 16:48:35
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    Thanks again BigDummy for your help, both practical and pschological. Thanks for being here on this forum.
    I don't feel that good, these bites make my biggest fears resurface. Bedbugs, 2 years ago, have literally destroyed every single aspect of my life. All I have left is luckily my son and my job (thank God). I won't be able to go through this again, I just can't.
    I'm feeling dispossessed of my life, living more or less in fear of these evil creatures. It's not just them but also the dangerous exposure to chemicals for my kid that I'm scared of.
    But I know I need to persuade myself that as long I have no proof, I don't have them...


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