A husband in denial...(10 posts)
For the past three months, I have been getting bitten after a possible encounter with bb in a hotel. K9 team cleared cars and home twice. Between the first and second clearance I had seen little clear bugs crawling all over an umbrella that was moved from hubby's car to mine. Disposed of umbrella and the bites continue ever since. Bed is clear and isolated. Because our cars may be infested we have been vigilant when returning home to ensure nothing is brought in. I found two pieces of bugs deemed not to be bbs by experts on this site and deemed inconclusive by state entomologist. The bites persist, about 2-3 per day.
Anyways, my husband has bites in twos and threes every day, but doesn't care. He blew up today saying that it's been three months and we haven't seen any signs, so that means he is not going to live like this anymore. He went inside without drying his clothes, and we got in a huge fight, probably the worst in our entire marriage. He tore bags and threw things everywhere. We have neighbors on all sides of us, and he doesn't care if he spreads anything (assuming we have something).
Anyone else have experience with someone who is not willing to be careful? If I wasn't a Christian, I would have left him after the way he blew up today... these things are evil. I just wish I could get proof as to whether we have them or not.
It's been three months and you haven't found any evindence and have twice been cleared by K-9 teams. I say this not to be unkind but only in the hope that you can gain some perspective, the problem isn't that your husband is in denial ....
Not everyone has bed bugs.
I hope you are right. I just can't figure out what's biting me. I know there are ladybugs here, and they bite, but the bites tend to be under my clothes. I have found a few carpet beetle larvae, but I don't know that that would cause bites that sometimes itch (or not) in twos and threes. They even bruise sometimes. I guess I feel like I am finding things here and there that are not bb related, and yet my gut still tells me something us wrong. If I were in a single family home I wouldn't feel as apprehensive, but it upsets me when my husband says he doesn't care about our neighbors, some of whom are elderly. I was cleared twice by one k9 team, but my main concern are the vehicles; I have read that people have had the all clear before only to find one that very day. Thank you for responding; I really do hope this blows over soon....
There was an interesting article today about Older Americans with some great life lessons.
I think you could be right and you have them, but the bites don't mean BBs and the clear bugs crawling all over an umbrella...no idea...(I thought they hid). I have severe allergies and sometimes get "bite like" feelings...it may be carpet beetles but I don't know...they do welt up (so do mosquitos).
I'm OCD and wouldn't wish that on anyone...anyone. I think the packtite closet was a good choice for me to help me feel better, but it will probably help most people. You can't make him do it (or I never was skilled enough at that) and it's frustrating that it risks your home. He's probably upset that he can't solve this for you.
You may have...you may not...it's so awful...
That said, if he yelled at you and hit below the belt...that's awful. If he hit you, you need to call a shelter. You didn't say that, but just wanted to say it. I used to volunteer at a shelter after a troubled relationship (which didn't involve hitting) and it was shocking who some of the families were....hope I didn't offend.
Forgot to say...I welt up if the wrong detergent is used...or sometimes if I brush up against someone with a cat...particularly one where their fur is changing as they grow from kitten to cat (about 6 months)....my dog allergies started at 40 but I seem ok with the fur.
At work, I have the weirdest "snapping like a rubberband" at work when I'm on the keyboard. And sometimes near my feet. Not much redness. Our tech person told me I may be reacting to dust mites since I'm allergic. Our carpet person told me the feet stuff is referred to as "cable bugs"...sometimes people in an office will think they are bit but it tends to be places with low humidity, a lot of computers, etc. They aren't quite sure what it is. It stings!
I'm praying for you and that it's not BBs AND that the answer will be found soon.
Hey, thanks so much for responding, and especially for praying. My husband thinks I love to implement these "rules" when all I want to do is protect our home. Everyone (in real life) thinks I'm crazy, though up until the aforementioned trip I never had bites like this. I just hope if something is there, it will present itself before things get out of control. If there are no bbs, i hope- no wait- I PRAY that the bites stop.
My advice would be to stay away from this and other bed bug sites. I see this type of thing now and again the thing to remember is bed bugs are very rare. I deal with them on a daily basis and take hardly any precautions. If it's got to the stage where your marriage is affected you need to go and have a talk to someone.... And I don't mean a pest controller hope you get it sorted soon
I notice you said you found some carpet beetle larvae. They cause reactions very similar to that of bed bug bites (even in rows of twos and threes) so you might want to investigate that option, that you have a carpet beetle infestation and not bed bugs. Sorry to hear your husband blew up! Dealing with a partner that is not supportive and doesn't understand can be really hard. I've been there! I hope things get better for you and that you find the answer that you're looking for
Thanks for the response, guys. You are right; I need to be careful not to let my anxiety get the best of me. Today I found a bug in some packtited shoes. It was a lady bug. Maybe I am allergic. I have a killer rash on my inner thighs (gross, I know). It doesn't look insect related. If it is, though, this is gonna suck!!
I get rashes on my inner thighs if:
1. the weather gets warm and I sweat a lot
2. I wear skirts that allow my thighs to rub against each other
3. I walk around enough to have points 1 and 2 really affect me.
Folliculitis is also a possibility.
It's 100% true that bed bugs are a real nuisance to deal with. On the other hand, there are many, many other insects and allergies that can cause bites or bite like responses.
Bed bug infestations in cars are very, very rare. (To give you some idea: I had bed bugs for at least 6 weeks before I realized it. I don't have a washer and dryer on site in my apartment building. I have to haul all my laundry to a laundromat in a car. I did so for weeks with an active bed bug infestation and never got them in my car.)
There are many, many bugs that fit the clear bug description.
From your description I see nothing that says that bed bugs are likely. I would guess that it's highly likely that the problem is something else. I would focus on trying to figure out what is causing the skin reactions you've got going and figuring out why you're so focused on bed bugs as a possibility. Addressing those two issues will go a long way to reducing your anxiety. If you think professional help in the form of a therapist may help you sort that out sooner, that may help as well.
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