I think you will find this bed bug satire by Chris Bucholz amusing (rated PG for language):
If you haven’t been living in a cave with your Ace of Base CDs and your Tamogatchis and your Seinfeld references, you’d know that the hottest trend sweeping the nation these days is bed bug infestations. These tiny little blood-suckers which lurk in mattresses and bedding have been spotted in massive numbers in recent years, and if you aren’t waking up every morning covered in swollen little bite marks, then frankly, you aren’t shit.
Do take a moment to read the rest.
As Cilecto aptly put it in the forums,
This guy actually seems to “get” it, including the typical mis-steps.
Yes — there’s a lot of truth in there.
A tip of the hat to freakedoutandbroke!