Let’s get into that holiday spirit

by nobugsonme on December 8, 2007 · 12 comments

in bed bugs, fun, humor

There’s nothing worse than bed bugs during the holidays. But we still have to celebrate life, family, and love. Toss in a litte gallows humor (so beloved of Bedbuggers) and you have Bed Bug Holiday Songs:

NotSoSnug has started us off, messaging me with his Christmas carol to the tune of “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”:

Clothing drying in a hot dryer,

Bedbugs nipping at your toes,

Woe-filled tales being sung by newbites,

And folks bagging up their winter clothes.

Everybody knows some DE and pyrethrin,

Help to stop the bed bugs bite,

Paranoid folks with their eyes all a bug

Will find it hard to sleep at night.

They know that BedBugz are on their way,

They’ve got some yummy human blood to taste today,

And every mothers child is going to say,

How did the situation get this way?

And so I’m offering the simple phrase,

To Bedbuggers from everywhere,

Although its been said many times many ways,

Merry Christmas to you.

Thanks, NotSoSnug!

If anyone else has a holiday-themed ditty, the comments below are the place to share.

I’ll start you off with a few ideas:

“Hanukkah, Oh Hannukah”:

Hanukkah, oh Hanukkah, come load up the dryer

Bake all our papers, empty the drawers

“Good King Wenceslas”:

Pyrethroid resistance came, on the Feast of Stephen

So my bed bugs bounced right back, and said “Now we are even!”

“Silent Night”:

Itchy night, scratchy night

Bed bugs came, supped all right

Welts and pustules appeared in sight

Called a PCO out

He sprayed pesticides about

“Grandpa Got Run Over by A Reindeer”

Grandma got bitten by a bed bug

Staying at the casino New Year’s Eve

I am quite sure you can do as well or better at finishing these, or starting a new one, as I can. Hannukah and Kwanzaa songs are a bit thin on the ground, so especially welcome.

Let it rip, Bedbuggers!

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1 hopelessnomo December 8, 2007 at 11:13 pm

I have no contribution, sadly, but want to applaud appreciatively. 8)

2 James Buggles December 9, 2007 at 4:12 pm

The first Bed Bug I’m sorry to say
Was to certain free range chickens in coops as they lay;
In coops where they lay trying to sleep,
With millions of bed bugs biting them deep.

3 tony December 17, 2007 at 7:05 pm

I am so glad others maintain some humor I posted part of this before a link was put up to this one. So here’s the expanded version done to jingle bells.

Dashing Through The Snow
All My Clothes In Ziploc Bags
Over The Hills We Go
Trying To Get Away

Bells On Bobtails Ring
Make It Through The Night
It’s No Fun To Laugh & Sing
When The Bed Bugs Bite Tonight

Oh Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
They’re crawling up your leg
You don’t feel them even when they bite
You wished they’d go away hey

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells
They drive you near insane
You know their there
You’ve got their bites
And they haven’t gone away hey

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all. My New years Wish is for these critters to leave us all and go bother someone else for awhile (a long while).

4 nyjammin December 17, 2007 at 9:53 pm

You’d better watch out
All you can do is cry
You can even pout
And I’m gonna tell you why

Bedbugs are coming to your town
Bedbugs are coming to your town
Bedbugs are commiinng to your town

They are scanning your area
They are checking it twice
They are gonna make sure
That your DE doesn’t make them sliced

Bedbugs are coming to your town
Bedbugs are coming to your town
Bedbugs are commiinng to your town

They get you when you’re sleeping
They get you when you’re awake
They get you if you’ve been bad or good
So, you better be bad
And kill them for your sake

Bedbugs are coming to your town (soon! whoa!)
Bedbugs are coming to your town (Oh no!)
Bedbugs are commiinng to YOUR town!

I must be feeling better to have wrote this. Regards.

5 tony December 17, 2007 at 10:33 pm

Thank you nyjammin I got quite the chuckle out of that and it gave me hope you were feeling a little bit more cheerful.

6 nobugsonme December 17, 2007 at 10:46 pm

Thanks Jammin and Tony!

That’s the spirit!!!

7 tony December 20, 2007 at 10:13 pm

I don’t know why these keep popping into my head. It’s like I’m possesed by Wierd Al Yankovich or maybe the catholic version of him. Sung to Santa Claus Is Coming To Town:

You Better Not Sleep
And Leave On The Lights
They’re Gonna Come Out
Because It’s The Night
Bed Bugs Are Coming To Dine

They Know When You Are Sleeping
They Know When Your Awake
They Know That You Have Blood In You
So They Dine For Goodness Sakes

Oh

You Better Not Sleep
And Leave On The Lights
They’re Gonna Come Out
Because It’s The Night
Bed Bugs Are Coming To Dine

8 tony December 20, 2007 at 10:20 pm

PS – I kind of took nyjammin’s version and put my own demented twist on it.

Hope You All Like
What I Just Did
Wish We Didn’t Have
The Problems We Did

Happy Holidays Folks!

9 Winston O. Buggy December 21, 2007 at 11:18 am

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Bed bugs nipping at your toes
You’ve bombed, sprayed and are tired of throwing bed bugs in the fire
And folks may dress for sleep like Eskimos
But the Cimex still get you in the nose
Help to make the season bright
Just let me sleep through the night

Tiny tots with their eyes anemically aglow
Will find it hard to sleep again tonight
They’ve been bitten since last May
Lets hope Santa packs pyrethrum on his sleigh
And every mothers child is gonna stay
On the newly encased mattress bought today
And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To bedbuggers from one to ninety two
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
I hope that bed bugs are finished for you

(Somewhere the flowing melody died it must be the Cimex in the system)

10 nobugsonme December 21, 2007 at 12:04 pm

That second stanza almost made me tear up, Winston.

11 nobugsonme December 16, 2008 at 3:50 pm

Tis the season, again.

12 Bugbattler December 16, 2008 at 4:20 pm

oh sleepless night
the bugs are here a’munching

it is the night
that I fear
most of all

long lay the world
on mattress lined with plastic

(awww….now I’ll never hear that song the same again, & it was my favorite) 🙂

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